He was afraid to open his mouth. He, the politician, the master of spin. He, the one who always knew just what to say and when, couldn’t find the words. Somehow he just knew that the second he started to speak, things would change. He would never be able to get back to this moment where she smiled at him, so loving and trusting.

Xander wanted this to work with Rose. He wanted them to move to D.C. and start a life with him there. But every bit of that fantasy was riding on her reaction to what he was about to say.

“Rose,” he said, “I hate to do this, but I have to take a rain check on tonight.”

Her dark eyes narrowed at him as she finished applying her lotion and stood up. “On tonight? I thought we decided it was The Night. That’s a pretty big event to skip out on. What’s going on that’s suddenly more important?”

“I know it’s a big deal. I’ve been looking forward to and dreading this moment since we decided to tell him. I’m so nervous that he won’t like me or that he’ll hate me for not being in his life.”

Rose moved around the bed to sit shoulder by shoulder next to him. “He’s not going to hate you. He adores you. Finding out that you’re his father will only make it that much sweeter for him. It’s like finding out Superman is your dad.”

“There’s no superpowers to be inherited,” Xander said drily. “Just my chaotic political life.”

“Are you wanting to wait because you’re nervous about it?” She patted his knee reassuringly. “It’s going to be fine, really.”

He ran his fingers though his hair. “No. I’d much rather do it and get it done so I can stop being so anxious, but I don’t want to do it and rush out. Can we postpone a day or two?”

“Why not,” she said with an undertone of sarcasm. “We’ve already waited ten years. Really, what is more important than this, Xander? Tell me.”

“Rose, please.” Xander said. “I’ve got to get back to the farm. There’s an emergency I need to take care of.”

Her irritation was quickly replaced by concern. “What happened? Are Ken and Molly okay?”

“Yes, they’re fine. There’s just something going on there that I have to be home for. It’s the reason I came to town in the first place.”

“Something going on?” she repeated. “Get a little more vague, Xander.” Rose turned away from him and looked up at the television silently playing in front of them. The local station had cut into the syndicated television show to broadcast breaking news.

Xander couldn’t hear the newscaster, but the image over the woman’s shoulder said Body Identified. As usual, Brody’s information had been correct and timely. The truth was out.

* * *

Rose picked up the remote and turned the sound of the television back on.

“...remains discovered on the former Garden of Eden property have been identified as that of seventeen-year-old Tommy Wilder. Tommy was a foster child taken in by Ken and Molly Eden, the owners of the Garden of Eden Christmas Tree Farm, several weeks before his disappearance. His sister, Deborah Wilder Curtis of Hartford, identified the body yesterday and dental records have confirmed the match.”

“Rose...” Xander said, but she ignored him and turned the sound up another notch on the television.

“Tommy Wilder was reported missing by his foster parents more than fifteen years ago. All of the boy’s belongings were missing from his room and a note was found by one of the other foster children indicating that he ran away. Police will be questioning Ken and Molly Eden to try to piece together what happened the night of Tommy’s disappearance.”

Rose swallowed hard and tried to process the information. She remembered Tommy Wilder. He was a senior when he came to live with Xander’s family. The few times Rose came to the farm while he was staying with them, she’d been thoroughly creeped out. She’d been a girl who spent most of her time being ignored, and Tommy’s heavy appraisal of her had been unnerving and unwelcome. She’d been admittedly relieved when he ran away. It had gotten to the point where she didn’t want to come to the farm or she wouldn’t let Xander out of her sight if she did.

After Tommy’s disappearance, she and Xander had hit one of the low points in their relationship. They hadn’t been dating long, but things changed quickly. He’d suddenly become distant. He had canceled a few of their dates and made excuses not to see her. For a while she’d been certain that he was going to break up with her. Even the other Eden boys had avoided talking to her or anyone else.

Then, after a few weeks, her old Xander came back to her. He had told her that they were all concerned about Tommy running away and all the police attention around the farm. As foster children, they could be placed in a new home at any time if the parents were deemed unfit. The Edens were the fittest parents in the world, but she could understand that it might look bad with Tommy running away.

Things had returned to normal and after that point, she’d forgotten all about Tommy Wilder. Apparently, the story had not ended as neatly as it seemed. Xander had been excited to talk to Joey today. They had a great afternoon planned as a family. Now he was agitated and wanted to bail on the whole thing to go home. This had to be why.

“You call that something, Xander?”

He sighed and stood up, shaking his head. “What do you want me to say, Rose? I have to go home and protect my family from scandal and criminal charges?”

Rose lifted the remote to turn off the television and slowly got up from the bed. When she looked at Xander, she saw an expression there that she’d never expected to see. Guilt. His hazel eyes couldn’t quite meet hers, the corners of his mouth slightly downturned as if he was trying to think of what to say. His hands were thrust in his pockets and his shoulders were hunched over.

Her father had looked the same way when she visited him the first time in jail after the robbery. They couldn’t afford bail, so he was locked up for the months leading to his trial. Long before he was convicted, there’d been guilt in his eyes and his broken stance that he couldn’t hide from her.

“Protect your family or protect yourself?” she asked.

“I want to protect everyone,” he clarified. “Including you and Joey.”

“Xander,” she said very slowly and deliberately. “Look at me. Do you know what happened to Tommy Wilder?”

His eyes reluctantly met hers and he nodded almost imperceptibly.

“He didn’t run away, did he?”

Xander turned his back to her and took a few steps away to examine the collage of pictures on her wall. He studied them in great detail before he spoke.

“You noticed what the news left out of that broadcast, didn’t you? That his parents lost custody of him because they couldn’t control him? That he was suspended for fighting and bringing a switchblade to school? That he’d been arrested for theft and assault? He was under eighteen, so all that got swept under the rug. Now that he’s dead, they’ve conveniently forgotten he was a rotten person. They talked about him like he was an abused child instead of a two-hundred-pound menace.”

He was right, but she was afraid to follow where he was going with that. “So you’re saying he deserved it?” she asked hesitantly.

Xander turned on his heel to look at her. She watched his expression shift as he fought with the words he really wanted to say. He probably wanted to say yes, he did deserve it. But he wouldn’t. He’d run it through his political filter first. “I’m saying that whatever happened to him, they need to consider that he probably brought it on himself.”

He wouldn’t say the words, but he didn’t have to. Whatever happened on the farm all those years ago, Xander had been involved. The hows and whys didn’t matter. She was certain her father had reasons for doing what he’d done. He’d probably stated them in the hundred letters she’d thrown away. In the end, nothing changed the truth and nothing would bring the dead back to life.