Tyler’s knees gave out and he slipped down into one of the waiting room chairs. He wished to God he could go back—back in time so he could keep this from happening.

Eleven

“There was nothing you could have done, nothing you did to cause this. About ten to fifteen percent of pregnancies fail in the first trimester.”

“The baby was fine at our first appointment. The doctor even said he had a strong heartbeat,” Tyler argued with the doctor even though he knew it wouldn’t change the outcome.

Amelia was lying silently in her hospital bed, recovering from the procedure she’d undergone shortly after arriving at the hospital. Tyler didn’t know all the details, but the end result was the same. No more baby.

“At this stage, a lot changes in two or three weeks. And from the sound of things,” the doctor said, “the baby stopped growing at around seven weeks, and it just took this long for your body to deal with it.”

Tyler frowned. “How can you know that?”

“Ms. Kennedy said her morning sickness had suddenly ceased and she had more energy. This early in the pregnancy, that’s a big sign that the baby is no longer developing.”

“So it wasn’t anything that happened today...?” Tyler’s voice trailed off. He didn’t want to outright ask if the emotional upheaval he’d put his wife through had caused her to lose the baby, but that had been the question tormenting him all afternoon.

“No, no. This was just nature dealing with a problem. But the plus side is that there’s no reason why you two can’t try again. Take some time to recover from this, give your body a few months and then you can give it another try. Just because you miscarried this time doesn’t mean it will happen again. You don’t have any of the risk factors, Ms. Kennedy, so I wouldn’t worry.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” she said at last. It was the first time Amelia had spoken since she’d greeted the doctor and told him how she was feeling.

“Well, everything else seems to be okay, so the nurse will be around shortly with your discharge paperwork and a few prescriptions to help with the discomfort. Take it easy for a few days. Feel free to have a glass or two of wine to help you unwind, just don’t overdo it until your symptoms fully clear up. If there are no other questions, I’ll get out of your hair.” When they didn’t speak up, the doctor shook Tyler’s hand and then slipped out of the room.

Tyler slumped down into the chair beside her bed, not certain what to do now. He felt completely helpless, and he hated that. She’d accused him of always being in control, of always getting his way, and she was right. He didn’t like it when he couldn’t fix things, and this was one thing he simply could not fix.

How quickly things had changed. A few weeks ago, neither of them had even considered having a child, much less together. And now that the child was gone...he felt as though a part of him had been ripped away. He knew that it was a piece of him that he could never get back.

At this point, he didn’t even know what to say to Amelia. She was his best friend, and he’d never felt the awkward lack of words when he was with her. But now, he wasn’t sure where they stood. He was fairly certain that she wouldn’t want to try getting pregnant again. Where did that leave them? Their last real words to one another before the miscarriage had been cutting and painful. He wasn’t even entirely sure he would walk out of the room with a best friend, much less a wife.

“Tyler?” Amelia said at last.

“Yes?” Tyler leaped up from his chair to stand at the rail of her hospital bed. She seemed so small with the oversize hospital gown and all the wires and tubes hooked up to her. Her color was better now, but that wasn’t saying much. The faint gray circles under her eyes spoke volumes. She might be healthy, but she was not fine. “Can I get you something?”

“No.” She shook her head and winced slightly. “I’m okay.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was,” she said, attempting a small smile, but it didn’t make it to her eyes. “Tyler...I want you to go home.”

“I’m not going home without you. The doctor said you’ll be released shortly.”

“You don’t understand. I want you to go home to New York.”

Even though a part of him had been anticipating this eventuality, he didn’t expect the painful blow to his midsection that accompanied it. It was excruciating, worse than anything he’d experienced, even his breakup with Christine a week before their wedding. “Amelia—” he began, but she held up her hand.

“Tyler, please. You were and are my best friend. But we never should’ve been anything more than that. We made a mistake and compounded it by trying to force ourselves into a different mold for the sake of our baby. I’m sorry that all this happened and that I put you through this, but now it’s done. Things have worked out the way they were meant to. Without a baby, there’s no reason for us to continue on.”

Tyler tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, but it remained stubbornly lodged there as he struggled to breathe.

“If you don’t mind,” she continued in his silence, “I’ll stay in the house a few more days until we can arrange the movers to put my things back in my apartment.”

“We don’t have to make any quick decisions. Give yourself a few days.”

Amelia sighed and reached out to pat his hand. “Tyler, you and I both know we don’t need a few days. We were ending it this morning before everything else went wrong. Now we just don’t have to face the endless custody complications and awkward eventuality of seeing each other with other people. You can travel the world without worrying about me and the baby at home. I can go back to my little apartment and continue my quest for love. This is the way it needs to be.”

Tyler felt his grief morph in his veins to a low, simmering anger. She’d been angry with him this morning, yes, but if they had finished that fight, he would’ve seen to it that it was just a fight. Couples fought from time to time; it didn’t have to put an end to the whole relationship. She was using the Facebook leak as an excuse to push him away, just as she was using the miscarriage to push him away. Whenever she got close to anyone, she panicked.

“This wasn’t just about the baby, Amelia. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for me. Tell me you’re not in love with me and I’ll walk right out the door.”

Her dark gaze flicked over his face for a moment, and she looked intently into his eyes. “I’m not in love with you, Tyler.”

She was lying. He could tell she was lying. Her fingers were rubbing anxiously at the blanket, the same way she used to fidget with a pencil or pen in class. But why would she lie about something like that? About something so important?

Tyler took a deep breath and sighed, the fight draining out of him. Even if she did love him, for whatever reason, she didn’t want him. Nothing had changed over the years. She hadn’t wanted him when they were sixteen and she didn’t really want him now. The last thing Tyler wanted to do was force himself on a woman who didn’t want to be with him. This wasn’t the first time he’d fallen short where a woman was concerned. If she wanted him gone, he’d go. He had work in New York. A life there. An apartment. If there wasn’t a reason to be in Nashville, he didn’t want to stay another minute.

“Okay,” he said with a sigh of resignation. “If that’s what you want. I’ll let the real estate agent know we’ll be out in a week or so and arrange the movers.”

“I’ve called Natalie to come pick me up.”

Tyler looked up at her. She didn’t even want him to drive her home? “Okay. Well, then, if there’s nothing else I can do for you, I won’t subject you to my presence any longer.”

“Tyler...” Amelia began with a coddling tone he wasn’t in the mood to hear.