He didn’t want to do that to her.

He also envied some of the people he knew from Venture and the munch group, like Tilly, Landry, and Cris. Or Cali, Sean, and Max. They had three-way poly relationships that worked for them, all three of them involved with each other.

That’s a unicorn I doubt I could find.

In his dreams—which he would be the absolute first person to admit were nothing approaching even remotely realistic—he’d find a bi guy who would also fall for Noel, Noel would fall right back for him, and the three of them could live kinkily ever after.

Maybe if this was a romance novel…

He sipped his overpriced drink, a weak rum and Coke—weak by his request—and continued scanning the courtyard. Well, he’d have a whole weekend here to see if this was really what he wanted. For all he knew, the experience might send him running back to the safety of Noel’s arms with whatever wild oats he’d sown safely purged from his system.

Although even he admitted that was also a highly unrealistic wish. He was definitely bi with a heavy leaning toward the gay side of the spectrum. He’d never wanted to admit to Noel that he usually fantasized about other guys when they made love. He thought it was a phase he’d grow out of. But the longer he was married to Noel, with her trying her hardest and damnedest, the more he realized it wasn’t fair to her.

It wasn’t her fault.

He also knew from his job that life was too short not to live authentically, or to keep Noel chained to him with a loving lie, either. He didn’t want to be in his late seventies and mourning the fact that he’d never pursued true happiness, that he’d settled and cheated Noel out of the best possible person for her, too.

He thought about texting her, to check on her, but he didn’t want to bug her or make things worse for her. He knew she was going out with Eliza and Kennedy tonight and hoped they, at least, would keep her mind off him and what he was doing.

Well, what he hoped to be doing but as of yet hadn’t found the balls to do.

At least her waking up alone wouldn’t be a problem. After ten years of him working in the 911 call center, Noel was used to his sometimes draconian shifts, including all-nighters when necessary. Although summer would be worse, if they were still in their current state of relationship limbo.

Then, she didn’t have to get up every morning and go to work at the school. She didn’t usually teach summer school, either, his salary enough to get them through those months without her needing to work part-time. In fact, she usually used summer for continuing education classes, working on requirements for her teaching certificate, things like that.

He was still sitting there, pondering that, when a young twink, probably not much older than twenty-one, sauntered up to him and slid onto the empty barstool next to him. The kid had what looked like a cocky, permanent snerk twisting the right corner of his mouth, a sneering smirk that spoke volumes of him and his expectations. In his hand, a froufrou tropical cocktail of some sort.

Geez, I’m probably almost old enough to be his dad, for chrissake.

Yeah, that creeped him out.

“Hi,” the kid said. “Tad.” He held out his hand and Scott realized, despite the high level and unusual angle, he was expected to shake with him.

Scott did, already turned off by the kid. “Hiya. Scott.”

“So, I’ve never seen you around here before.” He batted his eyes at Scott as he wrapped his lips around the straw of his tropical concoction in a deliberately salacious way.

“It’s my first time here.” Might as well admit it. While he normally didn’t have a problem talking to people, even strangers, he’d found himself lacking the motivation or intestinal fortitude to walk up to guys cold and start talking.

“This should be a crazy weekend,” Tad said, rolling his eyes. “So where’d you tell your wife you are this weekend?”

Scott blinked, shocked. “Huh?”

Tad tipped his head and nodded toward Scott’s left hand. “The ring. Or are you already taken and your guy doesn’t know you’re here?”

Scott couldn’t bring himself to remove his ring right then. “Wife. She knows I’m here for the weekend.”

“Ooh, that is kinky. Does she like to watch?” Tad leaned in. “I like being watched.”

This had taken a decidedly uncomfortable turn for Scott, yet he still couldn’t force himself off the barstool. He felt like a foreigner in a strange country where he not only didn’t speak the language, the culture was so vastly different from what he knew that he felt he stood out like a cockroach in an angel food cake.

I need a fairy godfather. Literally.

“It’s…complicated,” Scott finally answered.

“It usually is. Sometimes it’s better that way.”

Scott endured Tad’s attention for several more minutes before another twink called the kid’s name and waved at him to come over to the high-top he and several others were standing around.

Scott took that as his cue to escape, grabbing his drink and sliding off the barstool, spinning around to dash down the stairs behind him, when he nearly ran smack into another guy.

Now this guy, he was cute. Close to his own age, about three inches taller than his own six one, fine lines at the corners of his mocha-brown eyes, short brown hair with just a sprinkling of grey here and there, and a decent body. He wore cargo shorts and was shirtless, a short tat sleeve on his left arm starting at his shoulder and ending at his upper bicep in a chain tattoo with a BDSM triskelion on it.

“Sorry,” Scott said, jamming his left hand into his pocket.

The guy smiled. “No problem.” It was an easy, friendly smile. Confident. “Too bad you’re leaving.”

“The twinks are swarming.”

The guy glanced around him. “Ah. I understand. Want to walk over there and sit where it’s a little quieter? Get out of the kiddie pool, so to speak?” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the modern, glass-blocked bar at the other end of the pool courtyard area.

“Sure. Sounds great.”

Anything to get away from Tad. Not that Tad might not have been a nice choice if Scott was on the down side of twenty-seven instead of the high side of thirty-seven, but at this time in his life, he wasn’t looking for games or anonymous fucking.

Especially not when he had to think about Noel back home and how his actions would impact her. He wouldn’t give her up for anyone he couldn’t feel at least as strongly for.

While he suspected Tad could probably suck the stucco off the hotel’s walls with his snerky, pouty mouth, Noel wasn’t bad in that department herself.

As Scott followed the guy around the courtyard and toward the other bar area, he was now uncomfortably aware of men glancing at him. Or maybe at the mystery guy.

Another man, an older bear dressed in leather gear, including assless chaps and a tiny G-string that was more wishful thinking than an actual garment, smiled when they approached, extending a hand to the man.

“Hey, Keith. Long time, no see.” They shook.

Well, at least I already have his name.

“Hey, Marvin.”

“Didn’t know you were going to be here this weekend. This your new boy?” the guy asked, tipping his head as he stared at Scott. “Or is he free-range fresh meat?”

Scott couldn’t help but blush under the older man’s appraising gaze.

Keith glanced over his shoulder at Scott. “Don’t go poaching one out from under me, now, Marvin. I just started talking with him.” Keith smiled at Scott, something about his expression twisting Scott’s insides in a pleasant way.

“Well,” Marvin said, smiling as he slowly walked past Scott. “If you find yourself free-ranging this weekend, feel free to stop by my room. 137. The door will be open.”

Scott dropped his gaze and realized he’d focused on Keith’s back, the way his spine disappeared into the waistband of his shorts with a muscled dip above his hips.