I stopped pushing the cart and looked down to Amber. “Pardon?”
“Sof,” Amber replied. “Back in Junior High, she was bullied and it was pretty bad.”
I stared at her, not believing this.
Sofie was very sweet, very pretty, quite intelligent, had a lovely figure and a sense of style that was cute and girlie and very becoming.
She also, apparently, had great talent as a singer. I was much looking forward to the high school Christmas concert during which she was to have two solos. This was unheard of as Alyssa told me the choir director tried to hand out solos with a fair hand in order to give as many of his students as possible the opportunity to shine.
But Sofie was that good.
What on earth was there to bully her about?
“How was Sofie bullied?” I asked and Amber shrugged.
“It was Mia and her crew,” she answered and I felt my mouth get tight at the mention of Mia. “Everyone knows Mia for the bitch she is now, and sorry Josie, but no other way to say it. Mia’s a bitch.”
As much as it pained me to agree on this fact about a high school girl, I couldn’t help but do it. Though I decided to do it silently by not rebuking Amber for her language.
Amber kept speaking.
“But Mia was top dog and had been a long time before what happened with Con. And Sofie is really cute. Back then, all the guys were waking up to girls and they way woke up to Sofie. Mia didn’t like that.”
“Indeed,” I said, suspecting this to be very true.
“But it was more,’ Amber went on. “Mr. Harper was out of work and money was tight and Mia’s dad’s got a good job so they have a nice house and she had all the cool clothes and Sofie…” She shook her head. “Well, they didn’t have a lot and she wore that fact on her body. Mia made fun of her ‘cause she got her clothes at TJ Maxx and stuff. It sounds stupid. TJ Maxx stuff is great and I find a lot of cool things there. But that kind of thing, especially the way Mia and her girls ganged up on her, can really hurt.”
It most certainly could.
“Is that when she became shy?” I queried.
Amber screwed her mouth up for a moment, thinking on this, and then said, “She was always quiet but yeah. That’s when it got worse.”
“Does Conner know this?” I continued.
“He’s a grade ahead of her in school and a guy so I’m guessing he didn’t pay a lot of attention back then to how Mia targeted her prey and shredded them. If he did, he wouldn’t have asked Mia out. Con’s not big on that crap.”
This was also likely true.
“Anyway,” she carried on. “By then, it was ancient history, except for Sofie.”
“Hmm,” I mumbled, turning my attention back to the cart and moving it along, wondering how this information could be imparted not only on Conner so that he could revise his strategy, but on Alyssa so that she could see to her daughter’s state of mind.
Suddenly, something occurred to me and I stopped.
I looked back to Amber and asked quietly, “Did Mia bully you?”
She held my eyes, shook her head and said, “No. Seein’ as Con’s my brother and she always had her sights set on him like all the girls do. She knew she shouldn’t do that because we Spears might fight amongst ourselves but no one outside hands us any crap.”
At least this was good.
But…
“Did anyone else bully you?” I pressed gently.
“Kids can suck,” she said by way of affirmative.
“Honey,” I whispered, now understanding her attitude when we first met.
“It’s not like that anymore,” she told me, beginning to look uncomfortable.
I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable but I couldn’t quite leave the topic.
Not yet.
I had one more thing to say.
And I got close to say it, reaching out my hand to take hers and hold tight.
“If something like that ever happens again, or you have anything that’s preying on your mind that you wish to discuss, I’m here. If it’s a danger to you emotionally, I may need to speak with you about sharing it with your father. But if it’s girl things and you need to talk with someone who has moved beyond it and survived, please consider talking about it with me.”
She was staring into my eyes, hers looking somewhat startled but amidst that there was something profoundly beautiful in the way she was gazing at me. Something I was memorizing, it was just that precious. And as I was memorizing it, a voice we both knew very well came our way.
“Uh, can I talk to my daughter?”
I tensed.
Amber tensed.
And both of us looked to Donna.
Donna was looking at our clasped hands.
Oh dear.
I was deciding to drive the extra half an hour to the grocery store in Wells to avoid running into Donna when Donna shifted her gaze to me and asked, “Do you mind?”
“I don’t but it’s up to Amber,” I replied, my heart beating harder in my chest as I felt Amber’s hand curl tighter around mine.
“Nothing to say,” Amber put in and Donna looked to her daughter.
“Just two seconds, sweetie, please?” Donna asked.
“No,” Amber answered.
Donna sidled closer. “You aren’t taking my calls and I have something important to tell you.”
“I’m not taking your calls because I don’t need to,” Amber returned. “See, I figure, I haven’t had a mom in a long time, like, you know, she’s been dead or something. So, I figure, when Dad marries Josie, she can just adopt me legal-like and then I’ll get a real mom. You know, like I never had.”
This attack was so brutal, the blow landing full force, I could see the impact on Donna’s face.
Thus, I squeezed her hand and whispered, “Amber.”
She let me go, pushed in front of me and grabbed the cart, shoving it forward. “We gotta get this done or Eath is gonna have a tizzy. His breakfast probably wore off an hour ago.”
This was surely the truth but as much as I didn’t enjoy being in Donna’s company, or Amber being in it when she didn’t like it, I couldn’t leave it where it was.
“I think perhaps we should all go get a coffee,” I suggested.
Amber stopped and looked back at me, her face set, her eyes flashing. “No freaking way.”
“That’s okay,” Donna’s voice was a squeak and when I looked to her I knew this was due to her struggling to hold back her emotion. “I’ll, uh…I’ll just…” she trailed off, looking around and I knew she was going to flee.
Which meant then she was going to flee.
I turned my gaze to Amber. “Sweetheart, take care of the list. I’m going to have a word with your mother. I’ll meet you at the checkout.”
“Works for me,” Amber said readily and sauntered off, pushing the cart like she didn’t have a care in the world.
I looked back to Donna and invited, “Perhaps we should go outside.”
She stared at me and I knew she wanted to say no. But it was obvious she was so wounded she could do nothing but nod.
We moved outside the store and down the walk in front of it to be away from the doors.
Only then did I speak.
“Are you leaving Magdalene?” I asked.
She blinked.
“It is a small town, Donna,” I reminded her.
“I…well…Anderson offered me a raise to get me to stay but there’s a job in Boston that pays more and—”
I cut her off. “You cannot leave town.”
She stared at me.
“Jake doesn’t want you to leave,” I shared and her mouth dropped open. “He wants the mother of his children to be a mother to his children. Although it probably matters not to you, I don’t wish for you to leave either, for the same reason. Your children, alas, likely won’t let it show that they care one way or another. But I can assure you, what they let show and what they feel will not be the same things. You have essentially abandoned them. If you do this in an official capacity, it will wound them in a way they will never forget their whole lives and that way will be a way where it will never heal.”
“But she hates me,” Donna whispered.