“I’m sorry I left you alone. I should have known better.” After Zed tucks the blanket more tightly around me, one of his arms hooks under my legs and the other settles across my back, and he lifts me from the bed.

He starts carrying me out of the room, but he stops in front of Dan, who is just picking himself up off the floor. “I hope when Hardin finds out about what you did, he fucking kills you. You deserve it.”

I’m slightly aware of all the gasps and whispers going on around me as Zed carries me through the crowded house. I don’t care, though. I just want to escape from this place and never look back.

“What the hell?” I recognize Logan’s voice.

“Can you go upstairs and get her dress and purse?” Zed asks quietly.

“Yeah, sure, man,” Logan responds.

Zed backs through the front door, and cold air hits me, making me shiver. At least, I think I’m shivering, but I can’t really tell. Zed tries to tighten the blanket around me, but it keeps slipping. I’m not any help, since I can barely move my arms.

“I’m going to call Hardin as soon as I get you into my truck, okay?” Zed says.

“No, don’t,” I groan. Hardin will be so mad at me. The last thing I want is to be screamed at when I can barely keep my eyes open.

“Tessa, I really think I should call him.”

“Please, no.” I begin to cry again. Hardin is the only person I want to see right now, but I don’t want to know how he’ll react when he finds out what happened. If he had been the one to show up instead of Zed, what would he have done to Dan and Steph? Something that would’ve landed him in jail, I’m sure.

“Don’t tell him,” I say again. “None of it, shhh.”

“He’ll find out anyway. Even with the video destroyed, too many people know what happened.”

“No, please.”

I hear Zed’s frustrated sigh as he shifts my body into one arm so he can pull the passenger door of his truck open.

Logan comes back as Zed places me on the cold seat. “Here’s her stuff. Is she okay?” he asks with obvious concern.

“Yeah, I think so. She’s on benzo.”

“What the hell?”

“It’s a long story. Have you ever taken it?” Zed asks.

“Yeah, once, but only half, and I passed out after an hour. You better hope she doesn’t start hallucinating. Some people have crazy reactions to that stuff.”

“Shit,” Zed groans, and I can picture him twisting his lip ring between his fingers.

“Does Hardin know?” Logan asks.

“Not yet . . .”

The two of them continue to discuss me as if I’m not there, but I’m relieved when the heater in the truck finally shifts from blowing cold air to warm.

“I need to get her home,” Zed finally says, and within seconds he’s in the truck next to me.

Looking at me with a worried expression, Zed says, “If you don’t want me to tell him, where do you want to go? You can come to my place, but you know how pissed he’ll be when he finds out.”

If I could form an actual sentence, I’d tell him about our breakup, but since I can’t, I make a sound that is something between a cry and a cough. “Mother,” I manage.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes . . . no Hardin. Please,” I breathe.

He nods, and the truck begins to move down the street. I try to focus on Zed’s voice as he talks on the phone, but in my attempts to remain sitting up straight, I lose track of what he’s said, and within minutes I’m lying across the seat.

Giving up, I just close my eyes.

chapter

fifty-nine

HARDIN

Love is the single most important emotion one can hold. Whether it’s your love for God or your love for another, it’s the most powerful, overwhelming, incredible experience. The moment when you realize that you are capable of loving someone else more than yourself is quite possibly the most important moment in your life. It was for me, anyway. I love Hardin more than myself, more than anything.

My phone vibrates on the coffee table for the fifth time in the last two minutes. I finally decide to answer it so I can tell her off.

“What the fuck do you want?” I bark into the speaker.

“It’s—”

“Spit it out, Molly, I don’t have time for your shit.”

“It’s about Tessa.”

I stand to my feet, and the journal falls to the floor. My blood is ice cold. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“She’s . . . look, don’t freak out, but Steph slipped her something and Dan is—”

“Where are you?”

“The frat house.” She barely gets the words out before I hang up the phone, grab my keys, and rush out of the apartment.

MY HEART IS POUNDING out of my chest the entire drive. Why the fuck did I get an apartment so far from the campus? This is hands down the longest twenty-mile drive of my life.

Steph fucking slipped something to Tessa . . . What the fuck is wrong with her? And Dan—fucking Dan is a dead man if he lays one goddamn finger on her.

I run every single red light and ignore the resulting flashes that indicate I’ll be getting at least four tickets in the mail.

It’s Tessa . . . Molly’s voice plays over and over in my mind until I finally reach the old frat house. I don’t bother turning off my car—my car is the least of my concerns right now. Crowds of drunken idiots litter the living room and hallways as I push my way through the downstairs in search for Tessa.

My hands wrap around Nate’s collar the moment I see him, and I slam him into the wall without a thought. “Where is she?”

“I don’t know! I haven’t seen her!” he shouts, and I loosen my grip.

“Where the fuck is Steph?” I demand.

“She’s in the backyard—I think—I haven’t seen her in a while.”

I let go of him with a shove, and he stumbles forward with a glare at me.

I stalk out to the backyard in a panic . . . If Tessa is out there in the cold with Steph and Dan . . .

Steph’s red hair is bright in the darkness, and I don’t hesitate to grab her collar and lift her from the ground by the back of her leather coat.

She starts swatting her arms behind her. “What the fuck!”

“Where is she?” I growl, keeping my fist full of the leather.

“I don’t know—you tell me,” she spits, and I turn her around to face me.

“Where the fuck is she?”

“You won’t do shit to me.”

“I wouldn’t doubt me, if I were you. Tell me where the fuck Tessa is—now!” I scream in her face.

Steph flinches, and her bravado falters for a moment before she shakes her head. “I don’t know where the hell she is, but she’s probably passed out by now.”

“You’re a sick, disgusting bitch. If I were you, I would leave this place before I find Tessa. Once I know she’s okay, there won’t be anything stopping me from coming after you!” For a moment I consider the idea of hurting Steph, but I know I couldn’t actually do it. I can’t imagine Tessa’s reaction if I laid a hand on a woman, even an evil one like Steph.

I turn on my heel and head inside. I don’t have time to play games.

“Where’s Dan Heard?” I ask a random blond girl I see sitting alone at the bottom of the stairs.

“Him?” she asks, pointing a painted fingernail toward the top of the stairs.

I don’t respond but just run over and take the stairs two at a time. Dan isn’t aware of my presence until I’ve tackled him to the ground, knocking over a couple other people along the way. I flip him over and pin him beneath me, closing my hands around his neck. Déjà fucking vu.

“Where the fuck is Tessa?” I tighten my grip.

Dan’s face is already turning a nice shade of pink, and he makes a pathetic choking sound instead of answering. I clamp my fingers tighter.

“If you hurt her in any goddamn way, I will beat every last breath from your body,” I curse.