She sprung from her chair and started to pace. “What are you saying? I’m not pleading insanity. That means guilty and crazy. I’m neither!” She turned to look at him. “And this wasn’t an accident. I didn’t try to kill you!”

He stood and moved very close, looking down at her. “I have found a mental hospital that is willing to accept you. I will pay the expenses so that the taxpayers are not responsible for your lack of judgment.”

“I have been here for over a week. I’ve been questioned over and over. I haven’t divulged any private information. I have followed all the rules. The only thing I did against your rules is drive a car. That is it!”

“This plea will avoid a trial. It is understandable. You came from a modest background. The life we shared had pressures and responsibilities, with entertaining, charities, and reporters, it is understandable. You just couldn’t handle it.” Claire sat down, feeling increasingly ill. Tony walked over to her, bending down to maintain eye contact. “I should have recognized the signs. Perhaps I was too busy with work. When you canceled your charity obligations recently, I should have realized how overwhelmed you felt.” Claire listened as he spoke. It was his expression, a grin, one she recalled from a masquerade dinner almost two years ago that spoke louder than his words. “You wanted out, and in a moment of weakness—no, in a moment of insanity, you decided that the only way out was to try to kill me.” She watched him. This was a prepared speech. Oh my god! “I am only thankful you underestimated the amount of poison needed or you may have succeeded.”

The confusion in Claire’s mind began to dissipate, the fog cleared, and she could see Tony, his expression, and meaning as he spoke. “And if you had succeeded, I wouldn’t be here to help you now.” She suddenly realized that he was done with her. It was like the workers in Pennsylvania, she no longer mattered. He didn’t need her anymore! Tony pulled a chair to face Claire. “Aren’t you glad I am able to help you?” The bewilderment turned to the realization. He wasn’t going to help her. The reality hit her hard, not a physical slap, but it might as well have been. Instead of overwhelming sadness, two years of obedience and submission caused an overpowering rush of hostility. “And, Claire, I hear the rooms at the mental facility are larger than the cells at the federal penitentiary.” His grin broadened.

She straightened her neck and met his eyes. No longer did tears flow, instead her eyes sparked with anger. “Yes, Tony, I am so thankful. Would you like me to show you how thankful I am?” Her insincerity and sudden animosity came through loud and clear.

Tony stood, straightened his jacket. “Utilize the time you have to think this over. Don’t make another poor impulsive decision. This is your best offer.” He knocked on the door. “Goodbye, Claire.”

She didn’t respond. The attorneys reentered the room. Claire had new resolve. If he was planning to leave her, she was going to start talking. Mr. Evergreen spoke. “Mr. Task, if your client plans to plead insanity the prosecution will need psychological evaluations.”

“Mr. Evergreen, I do not plan to plead insanity.” Everyone turned to Claire, the last five days she’d hardly spoken, but she continued in a determined tone that none of them had heard before. “I can assure you I am not the person that is insane, although I have cause. I am innocent. Now if you will excuse me again, I need to speak to my counsel.”

She had entered this preexamination willing to sit passively and wait for Tony to rescue her. Turning to Jane, the only counsel willing to confront her husband, she said, “Ms. Allyson, if we could postpone this preexamination, I believe I have some evidence to share with you and Mr. Task.”

  Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life. Define yourself. —Harvey Fierstein

 Chapter 49

Three days was all they had to prepare for the new preexamination. Claire spent hours with her attorneys uncompartmentalizing everything. She recounted everything she could remember from the last twenty-two months. Tony wouldn’t approve. Nonetheless, she was brutally honest, recounting details that she’d tried to suppress. She explained the initial contact and contract. She said she thought the date rape drug Rohypnol was used to get her to Iowa because she couldn’t remember traveling from Atlanta. This recount could have been demoralizing, but somehow it proved therapeutic, a catharsis.

She described the respected, adored businessman Anthony Rawlings as a cruel, vindictive, masochistic, controlling human being. She did leave their home in a hurry. Justifiably, she did it to get a break from him, his rules, restrictions, and consequences. If he knew that she left the property without his permission, she would’ve been punished. She explained that punishments could range from verbal, mental, to physical abuse. On one occasion, approximately six months after she arrived on his estate, he nearly killed her. She told about the isolation he used. She also told about the sexual exploits, video recording, controlling nature, domineering manipulation, and constant mental and on again, off again physical abuse.

At times, they would stop taking notes and just listen. This was much bigger than anything they expected. Together Paul and Jane worked to build a case, not of a woman trying to gain financially from the death of her wealthy husband, but of an abused woman wanting only to flee the situation.

Paul believed that she had been living in hell, but there were points and events that she would need to explain. She stated she was kidnapped, yet did she ever try to call for help? Didn’t she live in a multimillion dollar mansion? Did she expect people to believe she had no access to telephone, Internet, or anything? Didn’t she marry this man she described as a monster? Didn’t she accept gifts: clothing, money, jewelry, etc.? Didn’t she accompany him on multiple extravagant trips? Didn’t she sit with a reporter from Vanity Fair and give an interview about her wonderful husband and their amazing life together?

Claire understood how things looked. She knew about appearances. But she knew what she endured. She explained that even after things got better with Tony, there was always the underlying threat of abuse. Things did get better after the near-death abuse. He got better and she believed she loved him. But always there were rules and the reminder of consequences for her actions. Any failure to be perfect could result in punishment. The truth would set her free and she was ready to tell the entire world the truth.

Her legal team prepared a preliminary brief. It informed the prosecution of their defense strategy. By no means all inclusive, it did emphasize the hostile relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings. It highlighted Mr. Rawlings’s aggressive, intimidating, and controlling tendencies. Mrs. Rawlings’s only intention on the day in question was to escape the harsh reality of her life. She didn’t plan nor did she execute a plan to cause Mr. Rawlings harm.

The time for the rescheduled preexamination meeting arrived. Mr. Evergreen and his team, as well as Paul, Jane, and Claire were once again seated around a large table. The only noticeable difference at this meeting was Claire’s brown hair. Indulging Claire’s request, Jane brought her a box of Chestnut hair dye. She looked younger. The blonde was striking, stunning, and beautiful. Claire didn’t feel any of those.

Mr. Evergreen addressed Paul, “How does your client plan to plea?”