Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is.

Thewayyoucopewithitiswhatmakesthedifference. —Virginia Satir

 Chapter 10

Standing at the rail of her balcony, Claire stared at the scene in front of her. The rays of moonlight illuminated the yard and tops of the trees, changing the familiar objects to unfamiliar colors. Under its brilliance, the trees appeared black and the grass silver. The multitude of stars glistened as she listened to the sounds of coyotes in the distance. This noise worried her. She thought about the smaller animals in the woods and hoped for their safety.

The humid air caused her to perspire even though she wasn’t outside long. She could feel her hair stick to her neck and droplets roll down her back. Claire had received word that Mr. Rawlings wouldn’t be home until after ten, and she would dine alone. This was the third night in a row. Last night, he hadn’t come to her suite at all. The night before, it’d only been for a few minutes to touch base. Apparently, things have been extremely busy.

The clock said 11:00 when she retreated to the balcony. She hadn’t seen him or received a message and wanted to do something—anything. Patience wasn’t a virtue she possessed in her old life. Now as she gazed at the countryside, she knew she was losing what little she had recently been forced to acquire. She was thinking about how even the air smelled warm when the door behind her opened. “Oh, hi, Tony, you startled me.”

“I thought perhaps I would need to search for you again. Then I noticed the drapes.”

“I didn’t know if you were coming tonight.”

He indicated for her to come back inside. She complied. And he shut the door. “You didn’t get my message?”

“I did. It is just later than normal.” Seeing him in the light, she realized he looked tired and thought how he rarely appeared anything but ideal. Things must really be rough with work. She wanted to talk to him about it, but in the past, he didn’t or wouldn’t try to explain things.

“I came to let you know I need to fly to New York tomorrow. I have a business deal that apparently is going to fall apart if I don’t get personally involved.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Damn it, Claire, I don’t know for sure.” He told her to come to him, and she did. He held her so close that she needed to look up to see his eyes. He lowered his face to her hair. With her head against his chest, she heard him sigh. “This has been a pain-in-the-ass deal. It has been in the pipeline for years. The time alone has cost me millions, what with research and analysis. Now it seems like everything is going to fall through.”

Claire didn’t know anything about the deal. She did know that this was more than he’d disclosed to her at one time. She wanted to help, to make him feel better. She didn’t want to do anything because he owned her, but because she wanted to. As terrifying as Anthony Rawlings can be when he is strong and controlling, she didn’t like seeing him meek and worn down either. “Tony, is there anything I can do?”

He moved her away to see her face. “Are you asking me? I don’t think that has happened before.”

She leaned back into his chest. “I want to help you relax before this big meeting.” She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek and neck as her hands unfastened his belt and slacks. She pulled his hand and led him to the bed, and he sat. Claire knelt in front of him, and his hands held her face as she moved toward him.

The entire night, Claire was in control. She did what she wanted, what she believed would help him. Her pace was slow and more thorough. Tony tended to move fast, rough, and hard. Claire moved steadily, softly, and completely. He’d told her exactly what he wanted and how he wanted it for over three months. She knew what he liked. The most surprising part to Claire was that he allowed it. He would sometimes grab her and push, deeper and harder. Then he would allow Claire to take over again.

Lying together in Claire’s bed, Tony surprised her again. “Thank you.” He rolled to face her. “Thank you for giving yourself. You keep me totally amazed.”

They were both almost a sleep when Tony announced, “You are coming with me to New York tomorrow. You can use that new credit card again while I have my meetings. And after tonight, I may need more of this, depending on how the meetings go.” Claire had a million questions, but stayed silent while Tony continued, “No, I will need more of this no matter how the meetings go.” They fell asleep.

By seven in the morning, they boarded Tony’s private jet. Catherine woke Claire about five. Since she and Tony fell asleep after midnight, five came very early. Tony was no longer in her suite. She showered as Catherine packed her luggage. There would’ve been a time when Claire would’ve been horrified to have someone else pack her belongings for a trip, but today it reassured her. Catherine seemed to know exactly what Claire needed and when she needed it. Allowing Catherine to take care of her needs had become second nature.

Claire’s light yellow slacks and a flowing white blouse were laid out. She obediently put them on. Her luggage was packed. She had a new Prada purse containing her wallet, ID, and credit card, as well as cosmetics, tissues, and other needed items. Carlos came to her suite to take her belongings down to the waiting car.

Before they left Claire’s suite Catherine informed her that she would be staying with Mr. Rawlings at his Manhattan apartment. And although she may be tired this morning, do not let it show, she must maintain appearances. Mr. Rawlings would be off to his work as soon as they arrived in the city, she would then be able to rest at the apartment. Claire nodded her understanding.

While Eric drove them to the local private airport, Tony spoke more directly and less compassionately than the night before. “You will be at my apartment while I am working today. Eric will drive you there after he takes my associates and me to our meeting.” Claire smiled and said that was fine. She didn’t have a choice. She knew that, and so did he. “Upon reaching the airport, we will be met by Brent Simmons, the head of my legal team; Sharon Michaels, his associate; and David Field, one of my lead negotiators. They will join us on the flight to New York. I will introduce you. Brent is already aware of you. Once we board my jet, you will sit away from us while we begin our preparations.”

Claire said she understood. “Tony, I don’t want to get in the way. I am here because you want me to be.”

“Yes.” He was looking at his iPhone, which had just buzzed. “That is true. It is my choice, and I do want you here. I believe your presence will benefit me.” He became engrossed in his texting.

Benefit him? Why couldn’t he just say “I want you here”? Her stomach was tied in knots as she wondered what Brent Simmons knew about her. Did he know what she did? Does he think she is a companion or an employee or worse? As they rode in the backseat of the Mercedes Benz, Claire decided this was time for a mask. Finding it through all the apprehension that surged through her mind was difficult, but she did and put it on.

She didn’t know what to expect from a private jet. It seemed smaller on the outside than she anticipated. Once they climbed the steps, she was pleasantly surprised by the spacious interior. To her left was the door to the cockpit and to her right was an open space with a table and four chairs. Beyond was a sofa along one wall facing three reclining chairs along the other. Everything was secured and contained seat belts like you would expect on a plane. The chairs and some of the walls were luxuriously covered with white leather and accented with woodlike trim. There was additional space behind the far wall. Claire guessed that it contained a bathroom, maybe more.