Tony pushed his body against hers. Moving fast and rough, he pulled her against him. She tasted coffee as his lips forcefully engaged hers. She attempted to slow down his movements. Expecting to be lifted onto the bed she was surprised when he pushed her, causing her cheek to feel the softness of the down comforter. She hadn’t expected his actions and he hadn’t prepared her. Her fingers gripped the cover, forming fists as she stifled the urge to cry out. He continued to dominate, showing no meekness. Anthony Rawlings had total control.

When he finished, he instructed her to kneel. He held her head and dictated her movements until he was ready again. This time he took more time, more positions, and more possibilities. His authoritative tone resumed with instructions and directions. Eventually he led her to the shower. They needed to get ready to go out. The soap, the multiple shower heads, he continued. Finally, he finished.

He then took shampoo and began to wash Claire’s hair. After ravaging her body, he touched her hair like it was satin. Suddenly, his movements were tender and gentle. She responded appropriately, but couldn’t help think how much she despised him. One day she wanted to help him, to be with him, the next he treated her like a whore. It made her heart ache, but she stopped the tears. He already took too much. She wasn’t giving him those too.

That night, dressed in a sleek black strapless dress with black heels, Claire was escorted by Tony to Daniel, one of the few four-star restaurants in Manhattan. Located on the Upper East Side, it is known for its elegant ambiance and delicious French cuisine. En route, Tony reminded Claire about his rules: do as she was told, keep up appearances, and the severity of punishment for public failure. Perhaps he could sense her overwhelming desire to flee and felt the need to reiterate the consequences if she tried.

When they arrived at Daniel they went to the lounge, where Tony ordered cocktails. They sipped drinks while Tony talked about his amazing rescue of this sensational deal. Claire felt like she was spending the evening with two different men. He could chastise her in one breath and be refined and charming in the next. While talking about his deal he said that he didn’t like to talk about money, but today he made more than most people do in an entire lifetime, quoting, “Hell, more than most families do in their lifetimes.”

The host informed them that their table was ready and they moved to the dining room. Again, Tony ordered their meal. Claire’s attention was completely centered on him. He required that, maintaining appearances. She discovered that Tony spoke French. Since she didn’t, she didn’t know what he said to the waiter. When the bottle of wine arrived, after sipping on cocktails, Claire was surprised. “This is a special occasion,” Tony said. The waiter poured a small amount of wine into a glass and offered it to him. He approved, and two glasses were poured.

If the prelude hadn’t been so tempestuous the dinner would have been more pleasurable. Claire remembered Tony saying he didn’t approve of alcohol because it diminished the senses. Currently feeling her body ache, she welcomed the diminishing effects. Of course, she didn’t show her uneasiness with the return of the Anthony Rawlings she had known. She obeyed the rules and remained the perfect companion.

On the way back to the apartment, Eric drove them around Manhattan to enjoy the lights, sights, and sounds. New York City was truly spectacular. It had been so long since Claire had experienced so many people and so much energy. If Tony weren’t running his hand up her thigh, it would have been more enjoyable.

Tony decided they would return to Iowa in the morning. As they were about to fall asleep he asked about shopping. Her body exhausted, her head spinning from the alcohol, she said it was nice and could she please show him the purchases in the morning? They both fell asleep.

  We shall draw from the heart of suffering

itselfthemeansofinspirationandsurvival. —Sir Winston Churchill

 Chapter 11

His alarm sounded, and Mr. Rawlings called for the car. It would be ready to take them to the airport at 6:00 a.m. Claire knew she would rather be back in her suite, waking at eight, working out, eating, and being on her own schedule. When she worked at WKPZ, she needed to wake before three every morning. But back then, she went to bed much earlier and, most importantly, alone.

A little after five, she sleepily entered the shower. Turning her face to the hot spray, she desperately tried to revive her senses and dull the aches in her body. The water began the process, but the real awakening came as she heard the glass door slide and saw Tony enter the steamy stall. His only expectation was to get clean. However, the act, the sharing of this personal space nonsexually, was more intimate than Claire anticipated or desired.

Once on the jet, she asked about his associates. Tony explained that Mr. Simmons and Mr. Field stayed behind to complete the contracts and Ms. Michaels had left on another company jet yesterday. During the two-and-a-half-hour flight, it was only the two of them in the cabin. Tony busily read his computer screen while Claire watched the clouds under the plane and contemplated the trip, disappointing and short. She thought pensively about her missed opportunity to contact Emily and John. She hadn’t spoken to anyone from her past for almost four months. Did anyone wonder what happened to her? Were they concerned that she’d dropped off the earth? But then she thought about Tony. He’d taken her out and introduced her to the world. She couldn’t be a missing person or the police would have gotten involved. She wasn’t sure how this publicity thing worked. Maybe Emily knew she was seen out with Mr. Anthony Rawlings. Claire berated herself. She worried more about not disappointing Tony than thinking to contact her sister.

Suddenly, Tony broke the silence. “Now tell me about your shopping trip.” The domineering man from the night before was gone. His tone was friendly and inquisitive.

Claire did her best to respond with the appropriate tone and inflection. “It was amazing. New York is such a bustling city. I wasn’t worried about people, or should I say reporters, approaching me.”

“That concerns you?”

“Yes. After that scene at the benefit, I am terrified someone will approach me. I know how much appearance and privacy means to you.”

Satisfied, Tony smiled smugly. “Very well, that is interesting. Go on, what did you buy?”

“Well, first I went to Versace and found a couple of dresses and some shoes. I think you will like them. I made my way along Fifth Avenue and bought some sunglasses. Oh, they are here in my purse.” She pulled them out and put them on. Tony smiled and removed them from her green eyes. He liked her eyes and didn’t want them covered. Claire continued chattily, “I also found some lingerie,” managing to smile coyly, “which I believe you will like.”

His eyes were soft, fully focused, and his expression was amused. “It sounds like you did well. Do you mind telling me how much you spent?”

Claire’s eyes dropped to the floor. She knew five thousand was nothing to Tony, but it would have been a month’s salary for her parents. Two outfits, shoes, sunglasses, and some silk and lace seemed like such a small accumulation for that much money. Tony gently lifted her chin to resume eye contact. Her eyes shone as she flashed a smile and spoke. “About five thousand.”

His reaction surprised her. He laughed. She waited to see if it was a laugh leading to something else, but no, it was just a laugh. Finally, he responded, “Good job, Claire. You may get the hang of this yet. I look forward to my private fashion show tonight when I return to the house.”