“I shouldn’t have left you. I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

“You’re forgiven; it was my fault not yours. But you should’ve told me about Jodie; that, I am still pissed off about.”

“Well, I’m sorry for that, as well then.” We both sit silently until Brooke comes in with three mugs of tea and a packet of biscuits. We sit on my bed, chat shit, until eventually Roman leaves.

I shower before I phone and arrange for a courier to come in the morning and collect all of my stuff to send back to England, including my crate of Sean memorabilia. I keep some clothes to get me through the next few days, a nice dress and shoes for Saturday night and two of my favourite Juicy Couture tracksuits to travel home in. Home. I’m going home. I have maybe five days and around twelve-thousand miles to get my head in a place where I am ready to deal with everything that will be waiting for me in England. I think I’m ready to face it all. I just wish this guilt and thoughts of Cameron fucking King would leave my brain for a little while.

Chapter Twelve

I spend the rest of the day getting my stuff packed, and I get a text from Lennon telling me he has booked me a car to the airport for six am Sunday; I just need to let them know where I want to be picked up from. We usually stay at Jodie’s place, but rather than disturb everyone with my early departure, I book us all rooms at the Marriott in Sydney. Since we are flying down on Friday, Thursday will be my last night in Byron, so I book a table at the local Chinese restaurant for Wednesday for my aunt, uncle, Brooke, Jax and myself. I know they own a bar, but they won’t switch off and relax if they eat there; plus, they love the Chinese place, and we’ve eaten there a few times. Emily is away for the week, so it will just be family. I actually thought about asking Roman but then I remembered he was playing at Worldies Wednesday and Thursday, so I just left it at family.

I’d told him Monday that I was leaving Friday and as expected, he was fine with it; finally, a relationship I didn’t feel any guilt about. We had come to a mutual understanding over the Jodie thing; he didn’t see it as a big deal, I did, and nothing was going to change either of our opinions, so we left it at that.

I go down to the bar quite late on Thursday. I spent the whole day at the beach. I surfed with Jackson early, worked on my tan all day and then had another surf this evening. By the time I shower and get downstairs, it’s almost nine and the place is packed. Roman’s belting out Matchbox Twenty’s “If You’re Gone” as I walk in. I stand and listen and his eyes almost immediately meet mine. He doesn’t smile, just nods slightly and carries on singing.

Brooke must have already spotted me as she comes over with a large glass of wine and a beer for herself. She’s working tonight but takes a few minutes to chat and drink her beer. Roman ends his song, takes a few swigs from his own drink and then leans into his mic.

“This is a bit of an oldie but it’s special to me. It reminds me of someone I think I may just be a little in love with.” My stomach flips; so much for not feeling any guilt over this one. I know as soon as Rome starts playing the harmonica that he’s pulled from his back pocket what the song is, and it’s actually one of my favourites; well, it was. He starts playing his guitar, then sings the first verse of Bob Dylan’s “Just Like A Woman” and he doesn’t take his eyes from mine the whole time.

As the song ends, he announces his break, walks straight to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. I haven’t seen him since Monday; we spoke on the phone but I needed to keep my distance. I like Roman. I like him a lot and I am eternally grateful for what he has done for me. The spark of physical attraction will probably always be there between us, but our relationship would never have amounted to anything more than good friends who’d enjoyed some great sex together.

“Thank you for being a little in love with me. Thank you for everything. I’m gonna miss you, Rome.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” We stand and talk about my plans for when I’m back in England and his plans for a trip to Bali after Christmas.

It’s all a bit strange for me; I’ve never ended a relationship on such amicable terms. Roman gives me a kiss and a cuddle and returns to the stage, and I head upstairs for an early night, feeling oddly grown-up and looking forward to getting home and seeing my family.

* * *

We land in Sydney around lunchtime; after a short hour-and-forty-minute flight from Byron. We take a cab to the hotel, drop our bags and go for a short walk to Circular Quay for lunch.

Jodie has arranged to meet us at the club at four and is going to give us a guided tour while it is closed, but when we arrive the place is still a hive of activity. I have honestly never seen anything like it; it’s like a shopping center, but just filled with clubs, bars, restaurants and live music venues. The VIP bar and club on the top floor have a roof terrace and pool, with the most amazing views out across Sydney; this is where we will be tomorrow night. I spoke to Jodie yesterday and explained I had booked everyone into the Marriott as a thank you for my stay. She brought all her clothes with her so she didn’t have to travel back to her apartment for the next couple of days. She was very quiet on the phone and was none too chatty as she showed us around now, and I have a feeling it’s to do with Roman. We’re meeting for drinks later, so I’ll try and talk to her about it then. We leave Jodie to her last-minute organisations at work and Brooke, Jackson and I head back to the hotel. They go straight to the bar, but I go back to my room to freshen up.

I’ve tried to call Marley every day this week without success, so I try again, but it’s Ashley’s voice I hear on the end of the line. “Slag bag, how are you?”

“Slutster, where the fuck have you been? I’ve been ringing you and my brother for a week, but have had no answer, so I was getting worried.”

“We took the kids away for a week. The weather’s been shit, and Marley’s been really down so we just got away.” Well, that explains it.

“Lennon never said; where’d ya go?”

“We just went to Fuerteventura. The weather was great. It was nice and quiet, and nobody noticed Marls, so he was able to chill.” I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach; Ash has just had a holiday but she sounds flat.

“Ash?” She knows what I’m going to say, so I don’t have to say anymore.

“He’s really struggling, George. I wanted us to stay away for another week but he wanted to be here for this weekend, ya know.” I feel so bad; I should be there. I should be with my brother; he lost his best friend, his brother-in-law and his nephew. I know how much he must be hurting.

“He’s missing you, too, George; we all are.” I bite down on my bottom lip; I don’t want her to hear me cry.

“I miss all of you, too, Ash. That’s why I’m coming home.”

“You’re coming home, when?”

“I land sometime Monday. I’m not sure when. Len’s taken care of all the flight details.”

“Len has? Why the fuck didn’t he tell me? I only spoke to him last night!”

“I was gonna surprise everyone but if Marley’s down, I might as well let him know.”

“Na, na, ya know what, it might be just what he needs. He’ll be down after tomorrow, and it’ll cheer him up if you just surprise him.” She lets out a long breath. “You know the boys are announcing the end of the band on Saturday, George?” I feel a little stab of pain in my chest at her words.

“I had an idea, but I didn’t know for sure.” No more Carnage. I was nine or ten when Marley started the band and eleven when Sean joined them. I couldn’t imagine a world without the band; their fans will be devastated.