In total, Cam had admitted to spending almost half a million pounds on Tamara, her treatment for addiction, her pregnancy, accommodation, living expenses, nurse, minder and her father’s debts. I didn’t question his motives. It wasn’t my place to, but it didn’t stop my heart aching for him. I know he feels torn about the baby. He would love to be a father, but he would rather the mother was anyone but Tamara. If the baby does turn out to be his, then we will just have to make the best of a horrible situation. In saying all of that, I can’t help but be terrified that if the baby is Cam’s, that I might just lose him to Tamara and their child.

I send a text to Jimmie. We are going over to her and Len’s place for dinner tonight, along with my other two brothers and their wives, and I need to know what to bring. She said to not bring anything, but I hate turning up empty handed; besides, Cam and I stopped off on the way home and bought a selection of wines and a couple of bottles of champagne. It might be a little premature, but we’ve decided to celebrate the fact that we put an offer in on the house we looked at with Vera and hope that it’ll be accepted.

Is there anything you need us to bring 2nite?

I hit send, just as Cam walks into the room. He takes the wine glass from my hand and drinks down its contents, goes to the fridge, gets the bottle out, tops up my glass and gets himself a beer as he puts the bottle back. All without saying a word.

My phone chimes as Jimmie replies.

Reading that word ‘us’ has just made me cry.

I’m so glad ur part of an us again G.

U really have no idea

Luv ya guts

X

I smile as I read her message, then look up at Cam, leaning against the island bench top as I lean against the sink. He looks thoroughly pissed off and I hate that she’s done this to him. We’ve had such a good day and came through the front door on such a high and then she calls.

“What’s she want?”

“Attention, that’s all she ever wants.”

My phone goes off again, “Sorry, I was just asking Jimmie if there’s anything she needed us to bring.” He nods, but I know he’s not paying attention.

Oh, and no.

Just bring the other half of ur ‘us’…

And all of his 9 inches ;)

I smile and shake my head.

“She’s sorted. We’ll just take some alcohol.” I look up and find Cam staring at the tiles on the floor. He’s taken his shoes off and is tracing the line of the tile grout with his big toe.

“She also asked if we could not wear clothes as they’ll only get in the way later when we start to lick dessert off each other’s bodies.” He rakes his hand through his hair and swigs on his beer without looking up at me.

“Perhaps you should think about shaving your ball sack before we go. I wouldn’t want you getting trifle stuck in the hair around them… And yours are hairy, like really hairy. I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about how hairy they are. It’s quite a turn off actually.”

His eyes fly up to mine. “What, what’s a turn off?” And he’s back. I knock back my drink, watching him over my wine glass.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or just carry on ignoring me?” I ask as I place my glass down on the bench top. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I repeat to myself that I won’t argue with him over Tamara, it doesn’t work. I hate the misery she seems to cause him. I hate that she affects him, which in turn affects us, but most of all, I hate that I hate all of these things, that I allow myself to be bothered by her. She’s a pregnant junkie. She needs help. I should be the bigger person here, but I’m not. I’m just the same ol’ selfish George.

“I’d never ignore you, Kitten. Come here.” I look him over. He has one arm folded across his chest, his hand resting in the crook of the opposite arm while holding his beer bottle.

I toe off my Uggs, pull off my jeans and pull my hoodie over my head. He needs a distraction. Let’s see if I’ll do.

I pull my vest over my head and stand in front of him in my black lace thong and bra. A small smile plays across his lips.

“You’re wearing that bra again.” I frown, unsure as to when he would’ve seen me in this bra before. He answers my unspoken question. “You were wearing it the night I came to your dad’s house. When we drove back here and you fell asleep in the car, I could see your bra.” Funny that I now have his full attention and he’s suddenly become so talkative. “I wanted to touch you so badly.”

My internal muscles clench and a feeling of absolute pleasure rolls through me, making me feel a little lightheaded. He’s not touched me, just his words have me almost coming on the spot.

“It wasn’t just about sex either, watching you sleep, looking at you while you were at your most vulnerable. I wanted to make everything right in your world, Kitten, hold ya, keep ya safe.” He sighs and gives a little shrug. “Take away all the pain. But I knew if I touched ya, that would be it for me. I’d be done like a kipper.” I smile at his analogy and realise that what he wanted to do for me Monday is exactly what I want to do for him right now.

“You have no problem touching me now and it’s only five days later.”

“No, well, we’ve talked since then. We’re making a go of things and I’ve every faith in us making this work and I’m pretty sure you feel the same.”

“I told you in Australia how I felt.”

“You were drunk and an emotional mess when I saw you in Australia. Then your cousin opened her big gob and you pulled your usual little stunt and stormed off.”

I smile at him. “I do like a dramatic exit, don’t I.”

“Yes, you do,” he replies, trying and failing to stop his lips forming a smile.

“But then I’m a spoilt princess who likes to get everything her own way.”

“Yes, you are.” The light has returned to his eyes and I know that for now, I have my Cam back, the Cam not eating himself alive with the guilt a pregnant junkie is causing.

“Take your bra off, Kitten.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought I was taking charge here?

“If you ask me nicely, Tiger, I might consider it.”

“I’m not asking at all, Kitten. I’m telling. Now take your fucking bra off and your knickers, then come here.”

“I’m not wearing knickers. It’s a thong.”

“Call them whatever the fuck you like, just take them off.”

I stand up straight and pull my shoulders back. I’m not going to fight him. He probably needs to feel a little in control right now, and truth be told, I like it when he takes charge. As much as I struggle with being told what to do, once I let go, I actually love shutting my brain off from the world and just enjoying whatever it is he wants to do to me, but just for a few seconds, I’m gonna let him think he’s got a battle on his hands.

I fold my arms over my chest, cock my hip to the side and turn my foot out then just look at him. He rubs his hand over the weeks’ worth of stubble covering his jaw, and as usual when I look at it, I think about how much I love the feel of it up the inside of my thigh. I reach behind me and undo the clasp, letting my bra fall down my arms and off, not taking my eyes from his for a second. He nods his head towards my thong and I really want to tell him to hold his fucking horses. I’m getting to them, but I bite my tongue, then hook my thumbs either side of my hips and pull them down.

I stand up straight and watch him as he looks me over. My eyes can’t help but look at his crotch. I hope I’ve distracted him enough that he can get a hard on. The bulge in his jeans tells me I have.

“Come here,” he says quietly. “Now.” I walk towards him and he surprises me by lifting me up and sitting me down on the cold bench top. I wince as my bare arse hits the cold black granite. “Lay back, bend your knees and open your legs.” I look him square in the eye for a few seconds. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. Instead of doing as he’s asked, I reach out to pull his T- shirt. I want him to kiss me, or at least touch me, but he steps away before I reach him. “Nah ah, Kitten, hands off.”