So as Declan flirts with the woman on his arm, eyes still pinned to mine, I let my eyes fall shut as I run my nose along Bennett’s jaw until my lips meet his in a tender kiss. With one hand behind his neck, I bury my fingers in his hair as I continue to kiss him.

Drawing back slightly, Bennett runs his knuckles down my cheek with soft eyes before he pulls me back into his arms. When I look over to Declan, he isn’t paying me any attention; instead, he’s sipping on whatever is in his double old-fashioned as he grazes his fingers slowly up and down the woman’s bare arm.

The thick cloud of defeat begins to wash over me and not even the best actress in the world could stave off the mood shift that flicks inside of my stomach. It’s a sick feeling that chokes me in a painful clench of knowing that this may not ever happen for me. That more years of my life were spent wasted on a quest that will come to naught.

I spend the next couple of hours focusing on Bennett, trying to distract me from myself, swallowing down the shit mood, but it still manifests in my gut—a never-ending reminder. But no one is wise to my inner-workings as we stroll through the room, visiting, toasting to the new year that is upon us, laughing, drinking, smiling, bragging, complimenting, faking . . .

And then I become the biggest fake of all when Bennett spots Declan and calls out for him.

“Bennett,” he drawls in his ever-present brogue. “Good to see you again.”

“Same here. This is quite an event.”

“Well, you and I both know it’s only because of Nina here,” he says as he gives me an approving nod.

With a hint of a smile, I loop my arm through Bennett’s as I return the nod.

“Catherine,” he says to his date, “I’d like you to meet Mr. Vanderwal and his wife, Nina.”

I can’t ignore the needle he uses to stab the word wife, but I keep myself in check as I extend my hand to her for a gracious shake.

“It’s a pleasure,” I say.

“This is a wonderful party.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” I tell her and then turn to Bennett. Reaching up to affectionately cup his cheek, I excuse myself, saying, “Do you think I could get a few minutes? I’m a little warm and not feeling too well.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need a little breather. I’ll be back shortly,” I tell him and then give him a loving kiss in front of Declan, taking my time in an indecent display of affection. Lucky for me, I know Bennett, and he loves to make a show out of me, so I use that with the intent of making myself somehow feel better about this colossal failure I’ve created.

The emptiness inside of me swells as I make my way out of the room and down the hall towards Declan’s office where I know there’s a private bathroom. I just need to be alone to pull myself together from the swarming thoughts that are flooding my head right now.

Another knife in a faltered dream.

I walk over to the large, leather ottoman that sits in the center of the plush powder room. Heat creeps its way up my neck as thoughts of Pike enter, and I reach back to pull the ribbon loose on my mask. The cool air meets my skin as I drop the mask to the floor. I allow myself this rare moment of weakness as I sit here, but it’s interrupted when I hear the door open and look over my shoulder to see Declan.

I don’t speak as I watch him lock the door behind him. And then he faces me. His jaw is set tight as he takes his mask off, giving me a clear view of his darkened eyes, nearly black.

“I’m done with the fucking games here,” he barks as he walks over to me.

I stay quiet, slightly confused about this situation, as he continues, “You, making a spectacle in front of me with that man we both know you’re not happy with. Is this you trying to make me jealous?”

He stands over me, looking down, when I snap, “I should be asking you the same question.”

“Shut your mouth, Nina,” he demands sternly.

He’s pissed—jealous.

I’m suddenly revived, but the games are over. I’ll give him exactly what I know he wants, my submission to his demanding request. He startles me when he abruptly grabs ahold of my arms and forcefully yanks me up to my feet and spins me around in his arms so that we’re both facing the mirror. With one hand clenched around my arm, his other grabs my jaw, forcing me to look at our reflection.

“Look at me.”

I do.

“You want me?”

Nerves crash inside of me, accelerating my breathing, but I don’t respond.

“Answer me!”

“Yes.” My voice, hoarse in its attempt to speak.

“Say it,” he snaps as he releases my face and slips his hand down to my throat, gripping it firmly, forcing my head back. “Say it!”

“I want you.”

As soon as the words are out, he pushes me down quickly, and before I know it, he has my dress lifted, exposing my backside. My hands grab on to the edge of the sink to brace myself as he yanks my panties to the side.

“Look at me,” he instructs in a hard voice, and I do as he says, lifting my head to meet his eyes in the mirror. “I don’t have a soft touch, Nina.”

I nod my head and see him nodding as well in our mutual understanding of his words as he unhooks his belt and begins to unfasten his slacks. I shut down, taking my mind far away from what’s about to happen.

“Stick your ass out for me.”

I do, and without any warning, he slams inside of me, locking our bodies, causing a pained whimper to bleed out from my lips. With his hands on my hips, he hunches his shoulders over me, pinning me over the sink as he thrusts his cock in me over and over in a pounding feat of control, and I give it to him as I hold on tightly.

“Look at me,” he snarls in my ear. His eyes are hooded in primal need as I watch him fuck me from behind. I fight the heat that I can feel boiling inside of me, grinding my teeth as I try to ignore the slapping of his balls against my clit with each volatile thrust. But unlike Bennett, Declan forces me to stay in the moment with him when he says, “Tell me how bad you want me.”

I quickly shake my head, not wanting to speak.

“Tell me, Nina.”

“Mmm mmm.”

My denial is punished in an erotic agony that shoots through my core and up my spine when Declan painfully pinches my clit between his fingers, causing me to scream out and jerk my body away from him, but he bands his one arm around my waist, locking me still in his hold. He doesn’t let up as he hisses in my ear, “Tell me,” never once faltering as he continues to pump in and out of me.

“Please,” I shriek as tears prick the back of my eyes when he pinches harder, pulling on my most sensitive part. My head drops as I release another pained cry before finally giving him the words, “I want you.”

“Louder!”

“I want you. Please.” My words, more a plea than anything else, spur him to go harder, pounding inside of me at a violent pace. His assault erupts quickly as he comes, spurting his hot sperm inside of me with a powerful grunt.

I stand there, legs quivering beneath me while Declan has his face buried in my neck. His dick is still rock hard inside of me when he finally lifts his head, but I keep mine down, confused about what just happened. Wondering if that was him wanting me as his or if that was nothing more than a punishment for playing games with him.

When he pulls out of me, he drops my dress down, covering me up. His breaths are labored, as are mine, and when I right myself, I catch a glimpse of him shoving his dick inside of his pants, and then I look away.

“Don’t do that,” he says, and I turn around to face him. “Don’t look away from me.”

I don’t say anything because I have no clue what to say in this moment, but he breaks the silence after his shirt is tucked in and his belt is buckled. Taking a couple steps towards me, I grip the edge of the sink as he scolds, “Don’t ever try to make me jealous again, do you hear me?”