"Dear," she says softly before pulling me back into her arms, and I feel Ryan's supportive hand on my back.

"Come see me, okay?"

When I let go of her, I nod my head, not able to speak around the knot in my throat. Ryan wraps his arms around me from behind, and I lean back into him.

"When is your next break?"

Ryan answers for me, knowing that I don't like to talk when I get like this. "She has the last two weeks of this month off before her last quarter."

Looking at me, she says, "You and Ryan come visit, okay?"

As I nod my head, she picks up her bags, and Ryan says, "Mom, let me take those out for you."

"That's okay. I've got it. Stay in here with her."

"Thanks for coming, Mom. Call me when you get home."

"I will, and call me when you find out about the solo."

"We will," he responds.

When the door closes, Ryan turns me around in his arms and holds me until I can compose myself enough to pull away.

Cupping my head in his hands, I look up at him when he asks, "You okay, babe?"

"I hate that she lives so far away. I really like having her around."

Wiping my tears with the pads of his thumbs, he says, "I know you do. We'll go visit her when you're on your break."

I rest my head back against his chest, and I take a moment before saying, "My parents never even called me."

He runs his hand up the back of my head and grips me close when I add, "I mean...I knew they wouldn't, but it still hurts."

"I know it does."

I inhale a deep breath and let it out when he says, "Come on, let's go grab something to eat before we go to the campus."

"Sounds good. Give me a few minutes to freshen up?"

"Of course."

We have a long lunch at Eastlake Bar and Grill before driving to UW. We park and walk to Meany Theater. Walking up, I can see a crowd of fellow dancers walking inside to see if their name is one of the two that will be listed. I feel the butterflies in my stomach and turn to Ryan, "Can we just go for a walk first?"

"What? Don't you want to find out if you got it?"

"Yeah, but not around everyone else."

Holding my hand, he turns the other direction. By the time we walk through the quad and back to the theater, the crowd has dissipated, and we walk inside. My palms start to sweat when I see the white sheet of paper taped to the wall. When I step closer, I let out a loud sigh in disbelief. Shaking my head, I turn to Ryan and say, "I can't believe it."

"Believe it."

My rapid breathing slowly turns into laughter, and I sling my arms around Ryan's neck as he picks me up. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I squeal out, "I really can't believe it!"

Looking up at me, he smiles, wide and gorgeous. I lean my head down and kiss him, but it doesn't last long with my excitement. When I look up, I see Ms. Emerson and Sergej walk through a set of double doors. I jump out of Ryan's arms and try to reel in my emotions, but I can't seem to wipe the cheesy smile off my face.

When they walk past me, Ms. Emerson stops to face me. I notice a small twitch in the corner of her mouth as she gives a slight nod of her head before turning and walking out the door. Spinning around to Ryan, I can't contain myself, and I cover my face with my hands as I feel a weight being lifted from my chest that I never knew was there.

"Come over here," Ryan says, and I walk to him, straight into his embrace. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Looking up at him, I confess, "Because of you."

"No, babe. It's all you."

Today has been a mixture of emotions, and after I finish brushing my teeth, Ryan slides his arms around my waist from behind and starts kissing my neck. We watch each other in the reflection of the mirror, and when I turn around to face him, he picks me up and sets me on the edge of the sink. Tilting my head back to look up at him, he says, "You're fuckin' gorgeous."

He makes me laugh as he leans down to kiss me. My legs wrap around his waist, and I twine my fingers in his hair when he picks me up. When we fall into bed, he trails his kisses down my neck, and my body starts to shiver. He slowly pulls back and gazes down at me with an intensity burning in his eyes. Sliding my hand up his chest, I wrap it around his neck and pull him back to me.

Our kisses are slow and with a passion I haven't felt before. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and taste him, throwing myself into our kiss. His arms band tightly around me, and I've never felt so safe. My mind blurs, and I begin to lose myself in his touch.

When he lifts my back off the bed, I'm barely thinking when I pull off my top as he lets out a low groan. Lowering me back down, he shifts his hips between my legs and drags his head down to my breasts.

We've never moved quite like this before, but a part of me doesn't want to stop. What I feel for this man is more than I ever thought I was capable of feeling. For a while, I thought I would never truly laugh again, but with Ryan, I'm my happiest. He gives me what I have been desperate for. Feeling him on my fingertips is enough to take me over, and I now want more.

Dragging his mouth from me, he pants, "We should stop."

I'm not sure I want to though. I know I will never love anyone the way I love him; he's all I want.

"Don't."

"Babe," he says in heavy breath, searching my face.

When I look up in his eyes, I see all I ever want to see. He loves me in a way I never thought I could be loved.

"I don't want you to stop."

"I need you to talk to me."

I can tell he's unsure, I see it in his face.

"I don't want to stop tonight."

He closes his eyes and drops his head to mine. "Please tell me this is okay." When I nod my head against his, he says, "I need to hear you say it, babe."

Cupping his face in my hands, I say, "It's okay. I want this, with you, I just...I don't know if I can."

There is a worry in his eyes that I don't want him to have. Although I'm scared, I know I want him.

I take his hand with my trembling one and place it back on my breast and whisper, "Just touch me."

He leans down and kisses me, long and slow while he slides his hand underneath my bra strap and slips it off my shoulder. I've never taken my clothes off in front of him before, and I feel the anxiety pool in my belly as he slides the other strap down, kissing my bare shoulder along the way. Pulling the fabric down, my pulse quickens, and in a moment of nervousness I confess, "I'm scared. I've never..."

Sweeping my hair back, he assures me, "It's just you and me. You're all I'll ever want."

He wraps his arms around me and unhooks my bra, dropping it on the floor. When he looks down at me, he sees my scar.

"He bit me," I say on a hush.

I hate that I have Jack's mark on my breast. It torments me to look at. It surprises me when Ryan leans down and kisses the scar.

"God, you're perfect," he breathes against my skin.

He drags his kisses down my stomach then sits back on his heels. Taking my hand in his, he places it over his scar on the side of his ribs. With words unspoken, I hear what he's telling me. We're both still alive, together, and we're okay. Brushing his scar with my thumb, I bring my hands to his stomach, feeling his defined lines under my touch as my fingers slide up, around his neck, and tangle into his hair. I pull him down and lose myself in him.