“Yeah, I agree,” Mark says, probably understanding my change of tone.

“Are you serious?” Emily questions, clearly not liking that her older brother is, in a sense, chaperoning them.

“Em, who cares?” Erin says. “Maybe Travis will get jealous when he sees me with Jase.”

Tilting my head at her in disbelief, she defends, “What? I get that you’re gay and all, but who knew my brother would snag a hottie? So yeah, I plan on using you.”

With mild laughter, I say, “This is slightly uncomfortable.”

“No shit,” Mark says as he turns to walk out, and I follow.

When we get back into bed, I replay the last ten minutes and begin to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Mark asks.

“You weren’t kidding around about them.”

“No, man. They’re crazy as hell. All the women in this family are.”

I’m glad that they are because it takes my mind off of the nerves of being here. I like Mark’s family, and his sisters make it all that much better, because even though they are completely different than Jace, they kinda remind me of her.

Mark runs his hand behind my neck and asks, “What are you thinking about?”

I tug him close to me, when I say, “I’m glad I came.”

“Me too.”

We lay there for a moment, silent, before I say, “Your dad seems really great.” I just wish my own could be as understanding as his.

“It’s not easy on him, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

He shifts slightly before continuing. “He had a really difficult time with it at first. It’s just been hard on him. He’s a work in progress.”

I nod my head, not really knowing how to respond. I’d like to think maybe my father could come around as well, but I think that’s a far cry from my reality.

Interrupting my thoughts, he adds, “I don’t want you to think my family’s perfect. Things weren’t always like they are now, but they’ve known for a few years. It wasn’t just me coming to terms with it; they had to as well.”

“I don’t see that happening for me, for my parents, I mean,” I tell him. I can hope, but what’s hope? My hopes are rarely ever fulfilled.

Mark pulls me in closer, his body warm against mine. “Maybe it’s just another piece I can fill for you.”

I smile and remember our conversation from the other week. Not wanting to deny his words, I simply whisper in response, “Yeah, maybe,” before I cover his lips with mine.

Although the both of us are exhausted from the day of traveling, we spend a good amount of time quietly kissing before falling asleep.

There’s a knock on the door as I’m slipping on one of my old UW hooded sweatshirts. I open the door to Erin standing there, still in her pajamas. Walking into the room, she jumps onto the bed and asks, “Where’s Mark?”

“Taking a shower.”

“Is he gonna talk to Mom about tonight?”

“He didn’t say,” I answer as I sit next to her.

“Say what?” I turn to see Mark as he’s walking out of the bathroom.

“Are you going to talk to Mom about tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to her,” he says as he grabs his clothes and heads back into the bathroom.

I turn to look at Erin, and she has a huge smile on her face.

“Who’s going to this party anyway?” I ask.

“People from Kent State that live around here.”

“That’s where you go?”

“Yeah. Em and I are freshmen,” she tells me. “So, you’re an Architect major with Mark?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve known him this whole time?” she asks as she leans against the headboard, getting comfortable.

“Sort of. We never really spoke until this summer.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, he seems really happy,” she says with a grin right before Mark comes back out. “Why are you guys dressed so early?” she asks as she looks between the two of us.

“It’s not that early, but Mom wants the lights up today, so we’re gonna be stuck on the roof for the next several hours.”

Hopping off the bed, she prances out of the room, calling, “Have fun with that!”

Mark closes the door and locks it before walking toward me and hovering his body over mine, pushing me back onto the bed.

“What are you doing?” I barely get out when Mark starts kissing me.

Mumbling over the skin on my neck as he moves his lips down, he says, “Not being able to touch you is going to drive me crazy today.”

His words unintentionally make me feel guilty. He knows I’m not comfortable with anything physical in front of his family, and I hate that I’m still holding back with him. I don’t want to. I don’t want to pretend to be something we’re not. And we are not distant.

When he drags his lips back to mine, he pushes back off of me and smiles. “I need coffee.”

Sitting up, I hold his face and pull him down to me once more, kissing him slowly, allowing myself to taste him. He moans as I lean back and stare up at him.

“I love you,” I say with all seriousness.

Running his fingers through my hair, he confirms, “Not even close to how much I do.”

And I don’t need to hear anymore as I smile up at him.

I follow as he walks to the door and unlocks it. Heading down the stairs, I take his hand, and when he looks at me, surprised, I just give him a slight grin. No more pretending. No more wavering.

We walk into the kitchen where his mom and dad are sitting at the table and drinking coffee. They look up at us, and for a moment my stomach knots when his mother looks down at our hands. She stands and walks over to us, smiling, and says, “Good morning. You boys want anything to eat?”

Returning the smile, knots vanishing, I say, “Just coffee.”

Mark and I fix our coffee and join his parents at the table.

“Mom, would it be a problem if we went out with Em and Erin tonight for a bit?” Mark asks.

“What are you guys gonna do?”

“Not sure, but we thought it would be fun for the four of us to hang out.”

“Yeah, sure. Just try to not be out too late,” she tells him as she picks up her coffee to take a sip.

Mark looks over at me and shakes his head, not excited about having to follow his sisters around tonight.

“You boys ready to get out there and get this over with?” his dad says.

We take a few minutes and drink our coffee before heading out into the snow.

Several hours later, Mark has gone to the store to pick up some things for dinner tonight, and Ben and I are sitting on the roof, drinking a couple of beers Andrea tossed up to us. The snow keeps falling, but after three hours, I’m completely numb.

“So, Jase, Mark tells me that the two of you have some classes together.”

“Yeah. We share the same studio this year and one of our lectures.”

He takes a swig of his beer and then asks, “How has this year been treating you?”

“It’s been a little challenging,” I say quietly, knowing it’s been probably one of the most difficult years of my life.

“Why’s that?” he asks as he looks over at me, curious to know.

Talking to Mark’s father like this is far from what I’m used to with my own father. He’s a quiet guy and was never too involved in my life. With Ben, however, it doesn’t feel forced.

“There’s just been a lot going on, and I fell behind in some of my classes,” I tell him and then take another sip of my beer.

“You able to catch up?”

“Yeah. Luckily, Mark worked ahead and was able to help me with a few things. I just had to refocus for a moment.”

Staring straight ahead, looking out over the street, he says, “Mark seems really happy.”

I look at him when he says this, and he turns to me. Feeling a little nervous about where this could go, I don’t respond.

“He said you don’t really talk to your parents.”