Mark can hardly catch his breath, he’s laughing so hard, and I’m getting a kick out of the show he’s giving me, so I sit back on my barstool and laugh right along with him. Mark is a cool guy, much more outgoing and funny than Jase is. Jase tends to be more on the serious, calm side.

“I bet you’d like to be that glow stick, huh?”

“That’s sick,” I cringe. “Plus, you’re the one that has that crap stored on your phone. Does Jase know that you get off on that?” I tease.

“You wanna see what I get off to?” he says as he starts scrolling through his phone.

“No. Love ya, man, but I don’t wanna see what you’re about to show me,” I say as he starts pushing his phone towards me.

“Oh, come on,” he taunts while I continue to laugh at him. “I know you think Jase is hot.”

“What?”

“He’s totally hot. Admit it! HOT!”

Holy shit this guy is far gone.

“I’m not saying a word,” I tell him.

“That’s a yes,” he says in a singsong voice followed by an evil smirk. He’s trying to get a rise out of me, and I find it pretty hilarious.

“It’s not a yes.”

“The dude is sexy as hell and you know it.”

He’s not gonna stop, so I just give him what he wants, and for the hell of it, I say, “Yeah, man. He’s hot.”

“I knew it!” he shouts through his laughter as I shake my head at all the attention he’s drawing to himself. He takes a moment and then, with a straight face, sets his phone on the bar next to me and says, “Here, you enjoy glow stick girl. I gotta take a piss,” before stumbling off.

I turn around in my seat and don’t touch the phone. The girl behind the bar looks over at me and gives me a small grin. When she walks over, she looks at my glass and asks, “More?”

“I’m good.”

“Your friend’s pretty funny.”

“My friend is pretty drunk,” I tell her, and when she rests her forearms on the bar top and leans forward, she asks, “And what about you?”

“I’m in total control,” I say in a low voice, and when I do, I get the look I was hoping for.

“We’ll see about that,” she says as she pulls back and walks away to continue helping customers.

I sit there for a while and nurse my drink. When I realize how much time has passed and Mark hasn’t returned, I grab his phone to go look for him. I spot him towards the back of the club, talking with Gavin. When I step up to them, I hand Mark his phone and tell Gavin, “Call this guy a cab, will ya?”

“Yeah, man,” he responds. “You heading out?”

“Not yet,” I say, heading back towards the bar, but before I can get there, I run into the bartender as she’s about to turn down a hall that looks like it leads to an office.

“You leaving?” she asks.

Wanting to know if this is worth wasting my time, I cut to the chase. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

An all-too-transparent grin spreads across her face before she says, “Come here.”

She takes my hand and starts leading me down the hall. Opening a door to a small closet, she pulls me in and shuts the door. I can’t see shit; it’s so dark, and the smells of bleach and booze fill the room.

Her body presses up against mine, and I begin running my hands up underneath her top, grabbing her tits. She starts kissing my neck while fumbling with my pants, and the heat takes over. We begin moving at a frantic pace. I yank her top up and pull her bra down as she shoves her hand down my pants, fisting me tightly.

I throw my head back and hear the thunk as it hits the wall.

“Are you okay?”

“Is she gonna be okay?”

Suddenly, I’m back in the alley as my words play back in my head. This chick is all over me, but in an instant, my mind is somewhere else completely. Somewhere it hasn’t been in a long time. I try to shake it off, but it’s so dark in here that my eyes have nothing to focus on.

“God, please! Stop!”

“Stop.”

“What’s wrong?” she pants.

“Stop,” I repeat and move her away from me. Buttoning up my pants, I know I can’t do this. I know that she isn’t, but all that floods my head is that this girl could be that girl. And what the hell am I doing with her anyway? Using her for a quick fuck to satisfy some sick need I have that I can’t seem to get rid of? Fuck.

“Did I do something?” she questions, and the last thing I wanna do is make her feel like shit.

“Pull your shirt down,” I tell her before opening the door. When I do, I look at her and say, “You didn’t do anything. I’m just . . . I just can’t do this. Sorry.” I turn to walk out and back into the club. I don’t even look for the guys; I just head straight out the door and continue to my jeep, to head home and jerk off.

I sit in my office at the bar, drinking beer and not getting much work done at all. Last night was messed up, and I know I can’t be doing that shit again. I need something else to focus on, so I spent the morning clearing the images off of my camera and loading them onto my computer to start editing and enhancing. I figure I can work on those to suck up all the free time I seem to have on my hands at night now.

When the door to my office opens, Jase walks in.

“Hey, man,” he says as he walks straight to the little fridge that’s behind my desk that I keep stocked with beer.

“Can you toss me another one of those?” I ask as I throw my empty bottle into the trash.

Handing me the beer, he asks, “So, you been up here all day?”

“Pretty much. You know how Saturdays are—crazy as hell all day.” I take a drink and then add, “Missed you last night. Mark said you got hung-up with a friend.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. She’s been going through a rough time, so I decided to stay with her last night.”

“You missed a pretty good show,” I tell him, referring more to his boyfriend than the band.

“That’s what Mark said.”

I can’t help but laugh at the thought of him last night. “Your guy’s a little crazy when he drinks.”

“I’m not even gonna ask, but he was in a piss-ass mood when I saw him earlier.”

“Ha! I bet. He drank a shitload, probably hungover as fuck.”

We both laugh when the door opens and Mark walks through. “What’s so funny?” he asks as he stands there.

“You, man,” I chuckle.

“If this is about last night, I don’t even wanna know what the hell I did. My head has been pounding all damn day, and now I have to play for the next two hours.”

“Go find Max. He always has earplugs,” I tell him.

“Not a bad idea.” Turning to Jase he asks, “Can I stay with you tonight? My new roommate just decided to tell me that he’s throwing a party tonight.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Well, I gotta run. I just wanted to catch you,” he says before he heads back down to the bar.

I start to shut down my computer when I ask, “So, is she okay?”

“Who?”

“Your friend. The one you were with last night,” I say.

Standing up, I grab my beer and start to head out when Jase stands to follow me, saying, “She’s getting there.”

Since that night at The Crocodile a few weeks ago, I’ve been out of touch with Gavin and spending more time with Jase and Mark. I hit the coast the other week to get a break and do some surfing. I’ve finished working on several of the photos that were stored on my camera and picked up the mattings from the framer yesterday. I don’t know what I plan on doing with them, but I spent so much time working on them, that I felt like I needed to finish them off by getting them matted.

I had to call Tori to let her know I wouldn’t be making it back home for Halloween. I know she was disappointed, but Michael has had some things come up at home and hasn’t been at the bar very much. Not sure what’s going on with him, but I’ve had to be at work more than usual, covering for him.