“We want to get married here. Either Saturday or Sunday.”

“This Saturday or Sunday?” she questions.

“Yeah,” he says while I nod my head.

“What’s this Saturday or Sunday?” Tori asks as she walks in.

Donna doesn’t say anything and looks to me, but Ryan goes ahead and tells her as he steps behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Candace and I are getting married.”

“What?!” She gives the same squealed reaction as Donna. “In two days?!”

“Or three,” I mumble quietly, starting to feel a little embarrassed with the reactions.

“How are you supposed to plan a wedding in two days?”

“Tori, stop,” Ryan tells her, and when she looks at me, she back pedals as I’m sure she can see the embarrassment written all over my face. “I’m sorry, Candace.”

“No, it’s fine,” I tell her and then look over at Donna. “We don’t want a big wedding or anything. We were just thinking we could go to Indian Beach in a couple days and simply get married. That’s all.”

Her warm smile soothes the anxiety that Tori was starting to give me and softly says, “I think that’s perfect, dear.”

“We just need someone to do the ceremony, so could you call the church you attend and see if one of the pastors is available? We’ll work around his schedule,” Ryan says to her.

“Of course. I’ll call right now, but you two will need to go to the courthouse to get a license today,” she tells us.

“What about flowers, or a cake, or—” Tori starts.

“Nothing,” Ryan tells her.

“Really?” she asks, looking at me, and I tell her, “Really. I just want a dress. That’s all I need.” But then it hits me . . . it isn’t all I need. Turning in Ryan’s arms, I look up at him, and before I can speak, he reads the panic in me, asking, “What’s wrong?”

“We have to call Jase. I can’t get married without him. I just . . .”

“We’ll call him, babe. No worries.”

Jase is my family, the closest person I have in my life next to Ryan. I couldn’t imagine doing this without him by my side.

“Well, then,” Donna says. “I’ll get on the phone and start making calls. Why don’t the two of you go ahead and drive to the courthouse and call Jase on the way. As soon as I get things figured out on my end, I call and let you know, okay?”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Donna walks over to me and takes my hands in hers, saying, “You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me.”

“Really?”

“We’ll talk later, dear,” she assures and then adds, “I’ll get a list of dress shops together so when you get back, you can decide where to go first.”

“I was hoping that you could take me,” I say, and when her eyes rim with tears and she nods her head, she tells me, “I’d love nothing more,” before hugging me.

After Ryan and I left to head to the courthouse, I called Jase to tell him what was going on. He was shocked, which I expected, but hopped on the computer and was able to switch the flights for him and Mark, and they will be here tomorrow evening.

When Ryan and I got back home, Donna had spoken with one of the pastors at her church, and he agreed to marry us Saturday at five. He wants to meet with the two of us later today, so Donna and I are going to try our best to find me a dress before we have our appointment at the church.

Walking into the first dress shop, I have a pretty good idea of what I’m looking for. So when one of the bridal consultants approaches and asks, I tell her, “Simple. I really like lace.”

“Not a problem. You’re quite small, so if you are looking to buy off the rack, you’re limited,” she tells me as she leads us through the mass of wedding gowns.

Donna and I begin to pull dresses. Most are pretty detailed, so I only take a small handful back to the fitting room to try on. I step out and show Donna a couple of the dresses, but it isn’t until the third one that I know.

Stepping out of the fitting room and onto the platform in front of the mirrors, Donna stands behind me to tie the satin sash around my waist. Smoothing my hands over the ivory lace, I look at myself in the mirror and just know that this is the dress I want Ryan to see me in. It’s sleeveless with a v-neck front and a plunging v-cut dip in the back with a champagne colored satin sash around the waist. It’s form-fitting and simple with a tiny sweep-train and solid lace, which I know Ryan has an affinity for.

“I love it,” I say as Donna steps to the side.

“It’s perfect, dear.”

The hem is a tad long, but it’ll do. Everything else fits perfectly. I never saw myself getting married. I dreamt about it as a little girl, but never really considered it as I got older.

It’s odd to see myself like this. As a bride. It even sounds weird; but I love him. Even when I wasn’t with him, I never stopped loving him.

“What do you think?” Donna asks, and when I look at her in the mirror, I nod my head.

Thinking about Ryan seeing me in this dress, thinking about becoming his wife, thinking about this past year—it all overpowers me, and I quickly wipe the tears that begin to drop. Donna steps onto the platform with me and gives me a hug.

“I certainly hope these are happy tears,” she quietly says, and when I pull back and see another bride walking in, Donna takes my hand and walks us to my fitting room, closing the heavy curtain.

“Are you okay?” she asks as we sit on the small couch.

“It’s a lot,” I tell her.

She gives me a questioning look and I assure, “Not like that; I love Ryan. Just . . . this past year has been a huge change. One I never saw coming.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

And out of nowhere, I think about my parents. About my father, and how everything has decayed with them. I was about to leave for New York without ever telling them, and now I’m about to get married. It hurts.

“My parents don’t even know,” I mumble as more tears fall.

“Sweetheart,” she says as she pulls me into her arms. “Well . . . do you think you should call them? I mean, when’s the last time you spoke with them?”

Sitting back, I tell her, “Last Christmas. It’s been a year. Ryan said he saw my dad several months ago at one of my performances, but he didn’t even want to talk to me. He told Ryan to not tell me he was there.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It just makes me sad.”

“Of course it does,” she says. “Love doesn’t disappear just because the people do.”

“I’m not sure they ever loved me,” I choke out around the knot in my throat. “But it feels weird to move on without them.”

“What does Ryan say?”

“What can he say?” I tell her with a slight shrug of my shoulders. “He’s supportive regardless, but it’s hard not to think about them right now. I know them well enough to know that it’s done with and has been for a long time.”

She takes my hands, and tells me, “I don’t claim to have been the perfect mother to Ryan. I let him down in so many ways. I didn’t protect him like I should have, and I know that. But I’ve never once not loved him with everything that I am. I don’t know your parents, so I can’t speak for them, but I feel like I have gotten to know you well this past year. And you have a beautiful soul. I couldn’t imagine anyone better for my son than you. To be able to call you my daughter, I can’t tell you what that means to me.” Her tears fall along with mine, and I soak in her words. “I love you as if you were my own.”

Wiping my face, I don’t feel like I could possibly speak, but I force the words out because she deserves to hear them when I explain, “It’s always been hard for me to talk to people.” I stop, trying to take a breath through my shaky voice but then continue with my trembling, strained words. “I don’t open up easily, I know that. But you made it easy. You and Ryan both. And when I told you, the night of my solo, that you were the best gift Ryan ever gave me . . . I meant every word. It killed me not to have him for those few months, but it killed not to have you either. I never understood what a mom’s love felt like until you.”