I shook my head. “Still no.” As I said earlier, we hadn’t been all that close lately.

“Give me a clue,” she pleaded.

“His name starts with a T.”

“I’ve got it!” she cried. “His name was Taylor.”

“Tyler,” I said.

“Tinker tailor soldier spy. Whatever,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I’ve forgotten him already, and you should, too.”

“You didn’t even know him.”

“True. I didn’t have much to go on except Mom’s stories,” Gretchen said.

“I can imagine,” I said. “Those must have been good.”

“Good and boring, you mean. Yeah. But you’re not still hung up on him, are you?” she asked.

“No! I’m actually really glad we broke up. I mean, it would have been better if it hadn’t happened at prom, in front of the entire junior class, and it would have been better if it hadn’t involved one of my best friends…”

Tyler had actually broken up with me because he thought he had a chance with Emma, because he was completely infatuated with Emma.

I didn’t hold it against her. We both kind of enjoyed watching him make a fool out of himself. Well, she probably enjoyed it more than me, but still. Our friendship was stronger than Tyler.

“That did really suck, didn’t it? Hmm. You don’t want to date anyone else, though?” she asked. “No cuties in your class?”

“Cuties?” I wrinkled my nose.

“Cuties, hotties, dudes. Whatever,” she said. “Isn’t there anyone at home that you like?”

“No, not really. There aren’t that many guys I’d want to date. And the ones I do like, usually like Emma first. Or…eventually.”

“Yeah. I had a friend like that, too.”

“You did?”

Gretchen nodded. “Her name was Ashley.”

“Her name’s not still Ashley?” I said.

She glared at me. “You’re such a smart ass. No wonder you don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Hey! That’s not fair.”

“Sorry. All I was trying to say is that maybe we have more in common than you think. I mean, there’s a lot you don’t know about me. When I was in high school, you were, like, ten.”

“True,” I agreed.

“And, being ten, you weren’t mature enough for me to talk to about things like boys. I wasn’t about to tell you all the things that were going on at school.”

“Not to mention the fact that you hated all of us back then, when I was ten. Actually, also when I was eleven, twelve, thirteen…”

“I didn’t hate you.”

“You didn’t like us much, though.”

“Sure I did!” Gretchen said. “I was a lot older than you, that’s all.”

“Uh huh,” I said, feeling a bit skeptical about this.

“I just…I needed to get away. Mom didn’t quite understand who I was. Not that she does now, mind you, but she has a better idea. We have a better relationship.” She shrugged. “You know what I mean, right?”

“I think so,” I said. Was it that hard to understand who Gretchen was, though? She made it sound like she was a deep, intense, nuclear physicist. She liked shopping and clothes. Her number-one interest was looking good. It didn’t go much beyond that, as far as I knew. But maybe now Gretchen and I could spend some time together and get to know each other as adults. If she’d treat me like an adult, which seemed doubtful.

“Time for me to go to sleep,” she said, yawning.

“Don’t yawn, you’ll make me yawn.” I took one of her arms and gently helped her get up from the sofa.

“Happy New Year!” she said and she gave me a little hug. “And good night!”

“I’d better take Bear outside for his first walk of the year before I turn in,” I said.

“You can just let him out front, you know—he’ll stay in the yard.”

“No, that’s okay. I actually really like walking in the snow,” I said.

I grabbed Bear’s leash and we went outside. Light snow was falling—it was supposed to snow overnight. There were already a couple of inches on the ground, which made the sky seem brighter. I started walking down the sidewalk, enjoying the cool flakes falling and melting on my face. It was one of those times when you feel like you’re in control, and you just know that whatever you think can happen and come true. So I thought: Maybe this was going to be My Year. It was starting differently than the others. I could put the negative things behind me. They were so last year now—for real.

Chapter 3

I love waking up on snowy mornings—even if it’s to the sound of a very loud snowplow scraping the street. I love the quiet, insulated feeling that settles over the world when it’s snow-covered.

I sat up in bed and peeked out the window. Snow covered the trees. The mailboxes. The fence. The cars. The window boxes. The steps. Which made me think: Ugh, I’ll have to go out and start shoveling soon. Gretchen wasn’t going to be able to handle it, and Brett was a little on the small and short side to help out.

I wondered if Gretchen had a snowblower. Not that I knew how to use one, but I could learn. Then again, her ex-husband Luke would surely have gotten it in the divorce settlement. He loved using that thing. Like my dad—he can’t wait until it snows so that he can run the snowblower.

But the sun wasn’t even up yet, and I wasn’t going out there to shovel until it rose. I’d have some coffee and let the temperature warm up a little first.

As if it would.

I got the coffeemaker started and sat down on the sofa to read.

Scrape. Scrape.

What was that sound? I looked out the window and saw someone shoveling our driveway in front of the garage. Are you kidding me? I thought. Gretchen has a snow shovel guy?

Whoever he was, he was kind of hunky. I felt a little guilty as I sat on the sofa, indoors, completely toasty warm, watching someone else shovel. But if Gretchen had hired someone, then she didn’t really need me to do it, did she?

Bear was whining loudly and pawing at me. He probably needed to go out. I thought about what Gretchen had said: I could just let Bear out in the yard. I’d have to be sneaky about it, so that shovel guy didn’t see me in my pajamas.

As I slowly pulled the front door open wide enough for Bear to fit through, the first thing he did was run straight for the guy. He jumped on him, barking.

“Bear, stop!” I said. “Bear, come back!” I stepped out onto the front stoop, just in time to see Bear lick the guy’s face.

He turned to me as Bear dropped to his feet and rubbed Bear behind the ears. “It’s okay,” he said. “Bear knows me—don’t worry.”

Not only does Bear know you, I thought as I watched him pet Bear, I know you! He was wearing his letter jacket again, so just in case I’d forgotten his name, which I hadn’t, it was there to remind me: Sean.

“You look kind of familiar,” I said casually. I didn’t really want to refresh his memory, about the skating wipeouts. So I said, vaguely, “I’ve seen you down at the lake. Maybe.”

“Oh, yeah?” He stood up and looked at me. “Yeah, of course. Yesterday. So…wait. You live here now? Or just visiting for the holidays?”

“Visiting,” I said. “But I’m staying for a month or two,” I added quickly, so he’d know that I’d be around. “Maybe more. So, do you like…are you hired by the neighborhood or the city or something?”

He laughed. “No, not exactly. I have a couple of part-time jobs, that’s all. The rink, plus snow removal.”