Besides my curiosity, I didn’t give in and didn’t look for Ryan. The weakness I had shown at the square, by trying to talk to him, had been just that. A momentary weakness. And it would never happen again.

Though bumping into him at the hospital on a Tuesday afternoon caught me by surprise.

I literally bumped into him when I stepped out of Papa’s room.

He held my elbows, so I wouldn’t fall.

“Sorry,” he whispered, his hazel eyes fixed on mine.

I stepped back, leaving his grip. “It’s okay.”

He glanced at the door, and a knot appeared between his brows. “How is your father?”

“The same.”

Jason left Papa’s room two seconds later. “Hey, man, what are you doing here?”

They clasped hands in that brotherly manner guys always did.

Ryan pointed his chin to the end of the hallway. “Brought a guy who cut his leg down at the site.” He glanced at his watch. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

“Yeah, but we gotta a call saying Dad was conscious. I left class, Mom left a pan on the stove, Jess left work, but we didn’t get here in time. He’s sleeping, as usual.”

Ryan pointed to the elevator. “I should go back to …” He peeked at me again and didn’t finish his sentence.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jason bumped his fist on Ryan’s. “I’ll call you later.”

Ryan nodded and, sparing me only a half-second glance, hurried away.

When Ryan disappeared inside the elevator, Jason turned to me. “You didn’t talk to him yet.”

“I don’t want to talk to him.” It was a lie I wasn’t willing to admit to myself, but I knew it was a lie anyway. “I have nothing to talk to him about. Besides, did you see the way he ignored me? I told you I was nothing to him.”

Jason shook his head. “You two still act like teenagers.” He looked through the small door window and sighed. “These summer classes are killing me, but I need to go back. Can you please make sure Mom doesn’t spend all afternoon here, watching him sleep?”

I nodded and received a kiss on the forehead.

I watched as my brother walked down the hall and took the stairs out. I couldn’t help but glance at the elevator again, and berated myself when I caught my mind wishing for the doors to open and Ryan to walk out of it.

The more I tried to avoid him, or thinking about him, the worse it was. Soon, I would be longing for him, even knowing and still feeling all the pain he had caused me.

Jesus, I hated admitting it, but I was so not over him.

***

Ryan

I cut the engine of my car and looked out the window at my parents’ house. If I could, I would have ignored my mother’s invitation to dine with them. But I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.

Bumping into Jessica at the hospital had already set my day off. I hoped the dinner wouldn’t make it worse.

I entered the house with my keys and found my father lounging before the TV, a beer in his hand, and my brother in the dining room, his cell phone pressed to his ear. I didn’t bother saying hello to them, and walked in, down the hall, and into the kitchen where my mother was chopping vegetables and my sister was doing her homework at the kitchen’s island.

“Hi, Ryan!” Brianna said, her tone cheery. She was growing up too fast and becoming a beautiful young woman. She was sixteen, the same age Jessica had been when the mess started.

“Hey, B.” I planted a quick kiss on her cheek. “How’s school?”

She rolled her eyes. “Boring.”

I smiled, and then looked at my mother. “Hi, Mom.”

“How are you, dear?” she asked, setting the knife down.

“Okay,” I said, averting my eyes.

I looked at my sister again. It was hard to look at her and not think of all the things that happened with Jessica. If a punk got close to my sister and did all the shit I had done, that punk would be dead before he could blink. I was sure Jason had wanted to kill me, but didn’t because of all the rest that happened afterward.

I sighed and grabbed a Coke from the fridge.

My mother grabbed a pot from under the counter. “Bri, why don’t you go set the table?”

Brianna made a face, but stood and left for the dining room.

“Now are you going to tell me how you really are?” my mother asked.

I leaned against the fridge and sipped my Coke. “I’m okay, Mom, really. As okay as I can be.”

“I don’t like when you talk like that.”

“Like what? The truth? My life is a mess and everyone knows it.”

My mother frowned. “Does this more irritated mood have something to do with Jessica Hayes being back in town?”

Shit. Of course, I didn’t expect my parents to stay oblivious to her return. After all, the town wasn’t that large and people talked, but I had hoped it would take a little more time.

“What are you going to do, dear?” She placed the vegetables inside the pot and turned to me. “Are you going to talk her?” Her eyes widened. “You already did.”

“No,” I snapped. “I’ve bumped into her once or twice, but we didn’t talk. I don’t want to talk to her. You know what? I don’t want to talk about her either.”

I marched out of the kitchen and went to the dining room to help my sister.

“Sorry,” she whispered, setting the last plate in its place. “I was the one who told Mom and Dad about Jessica being back.”

I glared at her. “What?”

“Sorry.” She retreated to the wall, though the table was between us. “I didn’t think much of it. Lindsey told me and I was just talking about my day. It came out, and a second later, they were arguing about it.”

“Shit,” I muttered. Another thing I had forgotten. Lindsey, Jessica’s cousin, was Brianna’s best friend. Damn, things were getting way too complicated for me.

“Sorry,” she said again, her voice small with fear.

I stared at her, backed against the wall, visibly scared of me. What had I become? Even my sister was afraid of me.

I took a deep breath. “That’s okay, B. They would have found out sooner or later.”

She seemed to relax a little. “And … how are you about it?”

“Honestly, I’m trying not to think about it, but everyone keeps asking. It’s kinda hard.”

“Sorry.”

This time, I offered her a small smile. “That’s okay.” I glanced around. “Where’s Tommy? He was here when I arrived.”

“Oh, he left when I came in.” She pointed to the door leading to the living room. “You know how it is. He and his secret phone calls.”

Which were not so secret. I knew what my brother was up to and I didn’t like. Despite all that had happened to me and all the conversations we had, Tommy was becoming the next Ryan. My younger brother was nineteen, the age I was when everything exploded around me.

“Ryan!” My father’s voice boomed from the other room, and I sighed.

I dragged my feet to the living room. “Hi, Dad.”

My father placed the empty beer bottle on the end table beside his leather armchair, and stared at me, his brown eyes hard. “You’re not gonna lose your head again because that girl is back in town, are you?”

I closed my eyes for a second, willing myself to stay calm. “Can we not talk about that right now?”

My father stood, stuffing his chest. “Why not?”

I shook my head, tired of arguing with my family. “Please, Dad, I’m not—”

The doorbell rang.

Frowning, my father spied through the window. “It’s Officer Mike.” He turned to me, his eyes shining with rage. “What have you done this time?”

I groaned. “Nothing.”

We marched to the foyer, where my mother was opening the door. “Good evening, Officer Mike, how can we help you?”

Mike spied inside and his eyes settled on mine. “Good evening, Mrs. Dawson. I’m just checking on our boy, seeing if he’s following through with his schedules and curfews.”

“Here I am, Mike.” I stepped to the door. “You’ve seen me; now you can go.”

An evil smile spread across the cop’s face. “Yes, I’ve seen you. I’ll be later, to escort you to your apartment.”