Pure anger filled me. What the hell was she thinking? Going out on a weekday with some random guy? He probably got his license two days ago and he was already driving chicks around town?

I groaned and punched the wall. The pain helped. The pain pushed through my rage and made me think a little clearer. A little.

There wasn’t much I could do. Even if I chased them down, what would I do? Throw my sister over my shoulder and take her home? Ground her? That wasn’t my job. I just hoped Mom knew where B was and with whom.

Shit. I was the worst big brother. Great example of that was Tommy. At nineteen, he was going to college, but only two or three classes because he needed time to party.

I closed my eyes and let out a long breath. I needed some fresh air. I eyed my bikes, both of them busted and un-rideable. Good thing too, because I hadn’t ridden a bike in four years and I wouldn’t start now.

I grabbed the keys for my Mustang from the hook on the wall and closed the garage door. Hopefully, lowering all the windows would feel like riding a bike.

Yeah, right.

***

Jessica

After Jason dropped me at home, he left again, probably to meet Ryan. I barely said hi to Mama before locking myself in the bathroom and sinking in the tub for at least half an hour. Keeping my mind blank was hard. The memories rushed to me every single second I was alone.

The day I came home after spending the summer with grandma, Ryan was in the driveway with Jason, Luke, and Ethan, tuning his bike before a race. Shirtless. I stepped out of Mama’s truck, and he looked up, right at me. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. I swallowed the big grin that wanted to break out on my lips and marched past him, saying a quick hi. He kept his eyes on me until I entered the house.

The day at the park, when he said I was beautiful and kissed me for the first time. The next day, Jason found out about it, punched Ryan, and warned him to stay away from me.

The first time Ryan sneaked into my bedroom window and spent the night with me.

Then the day everything went to hell.

I shot out of the tub as if the water had burned me. Mama was downstairs, cooking as always. We had a quiet dinner, even though my blood was still boiling. After cleaning the kitchen, Mama alleged having a headache and went to her bedroom.

I went to mine to call Kristin.

“I need to tell you something,” I said, sitting down on my bed. I scooted to the headboard where I propped my back on a pillow, and reached for the sketchpad and pencil on my nightstand. “Do you have a few minutes?”

“I just got home and having nothing to do,” Kristin said. “I’m all yours for the next hour or two.”

“So …” I sighed. “It’s about my past.”

“I guessed that much.”

I took a deep breath. My pencil moved against the sketchpad as my words came out. “I was in love with my brother’s best friend forever, but since I’m three years younger, he never thought of me as more than a little brat, almost like his own little sister. But something changed when I was sixteen and spent the summer away. When I came back, it was like Ryan saw me for the first time. Honestly, I don’t know what changed.”

“Did your boobs show up that summer?”

I chuckled. “Not really. My boobs had been growing at a nice pace since I was twelve, I think. But I guess I did have a growth spurt or something between fifteen and sixteen. My curves were becoming more pronounced, I guess?” I shrugged, though she couldn’t see me. “Anyway. So, when I came back, he paid more attention to me. When Jason wasn’t looking, Ryan flirted with me, and even knowing he was a manwhore, I couldn’t help it. I flirted back.” My drawing gained a stone floor. “I guess I didn’t really believe I had a chance with him. I mean, he was nineteen and had every girl in town at his feet. Why would he care about little sixteen-year-old me?”

“Because you’re beautiful and when you let go of that sulk, you’re funny, kind, responsible, smart, fr—”

My pencil stopped moving. “You’re not helping.”

“Sorry,” she muttered. “But it’s true.”

I chose to ignore her comment and continued, “For a month, we flirted. And the flirting escalated quickly. One day, he asked me to meet him at the Main Square late at night. Though I was scared of sneaking out and walking around town at that time, I couldn’t resist. I went to the square. He was there, waiting for me, and I swear, he looked so happy to see me. His eyes fixed on mine, and he told me I was beautiful. That was when I knew I was gone and there was no going back. He kissed me and I melted.”

When his lips first touched mine, I felt something. It wasn’t only attraction and lust. It was something else, too strong, too deep. It was as if we connected. Like we belonged together, but that was me being naive.

“So far, I’m liking this story.”

“Shut up.”

“What? Bad boy falls for good girl. Who doesn’t like that kind of story?”

“Me, because they aren’t true. It never ends well.” I added some trees to my drawing. “The next day, Jason found out we had kissed and punched Ryan, warning him to stay away from me. I swear I thought he would listen to my brother, but he didn’t. That night, he sneaked into my bedroom through the window, and every night after that.”

“You had sex with him, then?”

“Not right away. Actually, he slept in my bed for almost a month before I actually surrendered. He was my first.” I sighed. “I don’t know. I thought we had a connection, something strong between us. He had spent an entire month sleeping in my bed, which meant he wasn’t sleeping around, didn’t it? I saw him constantly during the day too, so it wasn’t like he had the time. But I guess, he could have. We weren’t together all the time.”

“What happened then?”

“A little over a year before, Ryan, Jason, my cousin, Luke, and their friend, Ethan, started fishing. Every three or four months, they set up these fishing trips where they were gone for the entire weekend. It was odd at first. I mean, who knew guys who were so into motorcycles were also so into fishing? All of a sudden?” I sighed. “I should have known.”

“What?”

“I … slept with Ryan on a Thursday. He held me tight after our first time—my first time—and said that maybe he shouldn’t go on the fishing trip he and the guys had scheduled for the next day. I was content he wanted to stay with me rather than spend three days with the guys, but I didn’t want to be the girl who holds the guy back and he stops hanging with his friends. I didn’t want him to resent me in the future. So I insisted he should go to the trip, that I would be here when he came back Sunday night.”

“And?”

“On Friday, he left for the fishing trip with Luke and Ethan. Jason ended up with a cold and didn’t go. My brother seemed pretty upset about it.” Concession stands took shape in my drawing. “Instead of coming to see me as he had promised, Ryan called me on Sunday night after he was back from the trip. He told me he had a migraine and probably should stay at his house that night. I didn’t think anything of it, just that he was tired and had a migraine and should rest. I missed him, but hopefully, I would see him the next night.” I sighed. “Monday morning, I left my house early, but two blocks from school, Caryn stepped in front of me.”

“Caryn?”

“She’s … I don’t know another word for her, a slut.” I winced, not really liking to label people. “Caryn always slept around, like Ryan did. She wore clothes that would put the Hooters waitresses to shame. She still does.”

“Wait. Have you seen her?”

“Yup. I’ll get to that.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Anyway, despite her sleeping-around record, Caryn had a thing for Ryan. I had seen her drooling over him a couple of times before, and it didn’t seem like a I-just-want-to-fuck-you thing.”