Jessica

Who did he think he was marching to our table and acting like an overprotective bull? Poor Brianna. Her guy didn’t know where to hide now.

Noah shifted beside me. “So,” he started. “Do you want to dance?”

“Hmm.” I wanted to say no, but I didn’t want to be too direct. Damn, I hated being a jerk.

“Hey, girl!” Rachel’s voice came from behind me. I had never been so glad to see one of my friends before. She smiled at Noah. “Hi. I’m Rachel.”

Noah extended his hand to her, introducing himself to her.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Well, family dinner was boring, and I wasn’t in the mood to just crawl in bed and sleep. I remembered your message earlier today about coming here, so I decided to come too.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” She looked at the band on stage. “They aren’t bad.”

I laughed. “Not really.”

Noah stood from his chair. “I’ll be right back.” He walked away, and I let out a long breath.

Rachel took his place. “Who is that?”

“I don’t really know him.” I glanced over my shoulder. His head down, Noah was going to the bar, right beside where my brother, my cousin, and Ryan were. I met Ryan’s hard eyes and shivered. Was he watching me? I turned my gaze back to my friend. “He has been at Alan’s office a few times. I know he’s Ryan’s supervisor at Habitat for Humanity.”

“Oh.” She grabbed my beer from my hand and took a sip. “How ironic. Now the guy is hitting on you in front of Ryan.”

I shrugged. “I doubt Ryan cares.” As I said it, I wasn’t sure of my own words. He had acted like a big brother just now, but there had been more there. I had felt it. Or was it wishful thinking? Not that I wanted him to be jealous, but it would be nice to see him pay for what he had done.

She finished my beer. “I think he does.”

I was about to ask why she thought that, when Lindsey asked Rachel to take a picture of their whole group.

“Sure,” Rachel answered, taking Lindsey’s phone. Rachel and Phoebe also handed theirs to Rachel, asking the same thing. She passed one to me. “Help me here.”

I stared at the phone, as if it was catching fire. “Hm.”

“Please.” Rachel dropped one of the phones in my hand. “Just help me here.”

“But …”

“They aren’t taking pictures of you, Jess. Just aim and shoot, very simple. Don’t overthink this. Please.”

“Hey, we’re waiting here,” one of the girl’s friends shouted in a joking tone, but I flinched nonetheless.

“Come on,” Rachel whispered. “I know you can do it.”

With trembling hands, I turned the phone over and searched for the camera app. Even though I hadn’t taken a picture in almost four years, I still knew how to operate a camera. My heart sped as I lifted the phone in front of me. I focused on my task, thinking of it as if it were an assignment for class. Just get it over with. Don’t overthink it. My hands still shook as I pressed the snap button a couple of times and handed the phone back to its owner.

“Thanks,” Brianna said with a big smile.

I just nodded.

Rachel bumped my shoulder with hers. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No, but …” I looked down at my hands. The tremor was almost gone.

What was wrong with me? Seriously. All this drama because of pictures. They were pictures, for goodness sake.

Rachel squeezed my hand briefly. With a small smile, I looked at her, but something else caught my eye. Someone else. A blonde walked past behind Rachel. Caryn. She wore a too tight red dress that barely covered her boobs and her ass, and hooker heels. Her lips were red and her eyes had too much eye shadow. She stared right at me, smiled, and winked. My blood boiled. What a bitch.

She kept on walking, like a drunk model on a wobbly catwalk, until she reached the bar. She squeezed between Ryan and Ethan—I didn’t know he was here—making sure her body brushed against Ryan’s.

Nausea rolled in my stomach.

I turned my face to the band, but I didn’t actually see the young guys on stage. All I saw was those damn pictures in that damn photo album.

“She’s such a bitch,” Rachel said.

“I know.”

I tried not looking back, but I guess I was a masochist. I wanted to suffer.

Still leaned on the bar, Caryn sipped a red drink. She was now facing Ryan, her pouting lips and her batting eyes turned to him. A mix of jealousy, disappointment, and rage swam inside me.

She reached to him and ran her fingers over his chest. With furrowed brows, Ryan snatched her hand and shoved it back at her. He said something to her through gritted teeth. She stared at him with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. Ryan took a shot from behind him, downed it, and then stepped away from Caryn.

He halted when his eyes met mine. The knot in his forehead deepened, and his lips pressed into a thin line. My cheeks burned, and I snapped my head back to the stage. Again, I didn’t actually see the band up there, but I pretended I did.

“Ryan can’t stand Caryn,” Rachel said. She bobbed her head to the beat of the song. “Since you left, she’s been trying to get together with him, but he simply shuns her. Sometimes, he’s even rude to her.”

I frowned at her. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought you would like to know that.”

“And why is that?”

“The way you were just looking at them. At Ryan. You can lie to my face all you want. I know the truth now.”

“The truth?”

“That you still like. … No, that you still love him.”

“W-what? That’s crazy.”

“See? You’re doing it again. Lying to my face. And the worst part? Your eyes, your voice, they betray you.”

“I’m not lying!”

She laughed. “I should get mad, but I won’t. You know why? Because I don’t think you’re actually aware of your feelings. You think you’re only mad at him, scarred by him, that what you feel is because you two have unresolved issues, but it’s more than that. You still love him.”

“You’re crazy,” I said. Wanted or not, Rachel put my mind to work. What if she was right? What if I wasn’t only mad at him and scarred about what he had done? What if I wasn’t just attracted to his beauty and his hot body? What if there was more? “I can’t be in love with him,” I muttered.

“Okay, before you give yourself a heart attack or an aneurysm, forget what I said. Sleep on it, and think about it tomorrow. Meanwhile, we’re going to have fun.” Rachel picked up my empty bottle from the table and tsked. “But first, I’m going to get us some drinks.”

She jumped off the stool and weaved to the bar.

Her words stayed with me though. You still love Ryan. That wasn’t true. That couldn’t be true. All I felt was sadness, anger, and a bit of lust. I mean, come on, the guy was hot. It was hard to look at him and not feel anything. But that was all. There was no love there, nothing. There couldn’t be.

Lindsey nudged me with her elbow. “Earth to Jessica?”

I shook my head and looked at her. “Yes?” Their friends—and the guys flirting with them—were gone. “Where’s everyone?”

“After my brother played the enraged ape, everyone got tense,” Brianna said. “It didn’t take long for them to leave.”

“Sorry,” I said.

She shrugged.

Rachel came back with two beer bottles. “What’s with all the gloomy faces?” She handed me a bottle. “Are y’all sulking?” Rachel grabbed my hand and pulled me off my chair. Then she reached for Lindsey.

“What are you doing?” Lindsey asked.

“No gloomy faces around here. We’re going to dance.” Rachel grabbed Brianna next. “We’re beautiful young women who are going to have a great time.”

At first, we were reluctant, but by the time we hit the dance floor, the band started playing a faster-paced ballad, and with Rachel’s excitement, and Lindsey and Brianna’s giggles, it was easy to get lost in the moment.