“Hang up! Please, Kipton.” Sophie’s hoarse voice begs me. I keep my arm around her so she can’t get away from me. She swats the phone out of my hand and I struggle back and forth with her to calm down.

“Relax. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.” Her body relents and she hugs my pillow, still shaking. Cautiously, I pick my phone up off the bed. “Cara? You still there?”

“Yes! Don’t listen to her, Kipton. She needs help. I knew something was up with her. I fucking knew it.”

“Cara slow down. Take a breath and tell me what you mean.”

Beside me I hear Sophie softly crying. “Now you’ll hate me too,” she whispers.

I brush the hair away from her gorgeous eyes. “Sophie, I could never hate you.” It breaks my heart to see her like this. I try to rub her back for comfort, but she curls into an even smaller ball of brokenness.

“Kipton, listen to me. I didn’t want to get involved, but I don’t think I have a choice anymore. Not after tonight. She’s been making herself throw up. I found her earlier in the rec room bathroom after she went to dinner with Tyler. It was so damn bad I heard her from outside the bathroom. Of course that was blamed on bad food from the restaurant. Basically she doesn’t eat and when she does, she throws it up.” Cara takes a breath after talking a mile a minute. I’m about to speak, but she continues. “But there’s more to it than that because she did it at your house tonight too and she didn’t eat anything. It doesn’t make any sense, but Kipton she’s going to kill herself if she doesn’t stop.”

I remember back to the night I was supposed to meet with Drew and saw her getting sick. The night she kicked me out. “I’m hanging up, Cara.” I turn on my side, staring at the back of Sophie’s head as she cries. I’m afraid to touch her and I don’t ask any questions. Why would she do this to herself?

Sophie turns her head to look at me and is utterly devastated. Her gorgeous blue eyes are red rimmed, glassy and lacking their usual vibrant color. “Cara told you, didn’t she?”

“Yes, she told me. Why Sophie?” I’m having trouble comprehending why she would physically harm herself. And to learn she did it when she was with me at the diner—I had no idea. How could I be oblivious to the whole thing?

“Because it helps me cope. Everytime I do it, I’m erasing a part of me I can’t deal with.”

“What do you have to erase? What can’t you deal with?”

“My past. My life. Everything, Kipton. I’m so tired of being knocked down. I’m never good enough—not for my Dad or Blaine and now Coach Evans. Someone is always trying to change me—to make me something I’m not. And when they stop trying to change me, they just wish I didn’t exist at all.”

“I need you, Sophie. I want you. You have me and you have Cara.”

“I’ve tried to change. Years of therapy helped, but I don’t think I’ll ever escape the demons in my head. They’re too powerful and visit me even when I’m asleep.”

“How did this start?” I question.

“Years of emotional abuse from my Dad. And then both kinds from Blaine.” Her answer crumbles around a choked sob.

“Baby, no.” I shake my head in disbelief as rage fills me. “Who is Blaine?”

She nods her head letting me know it’s the painful truth. “Blaine’s my ex. He would beat the shit out of me and mind fucked me so many times I believed I deserved it,” she cries.

“Beautiful. You would never deserve that. I’ll fucking kill him, Sophie. I swear I’ll find him and beat his face in for what he did to you.”

“No. It won’t do any good. This is who I am, Kipton. That’s why I’ve tried so hard to push you away. Because it’s bad enough I live this life. I don’t ever want to drag anyone else down with me.”

Rage mixes with the most intense sadness I’ve ever felt. I knew it was bad, but it’s so much worse than I imagined. “It’ll get better. We can make this better—together.” Making promise after promise, I pray I can make them come true.

“There are no second chances for me, Kipton. Coming here was a chance at a fresh start—this is my second chance. And I’m fucking it up.”

“Then you’ll get a third because I’m not giving up on you, Sophie. Not now and not ever.”

She hangs her head. “After I hung up with you earlier, I felt so lonely. Eventually I fell asleep, but you didn’t visit me in my dreams like you have the past few nights. Instead, it was my Dad reminding me how worthless I was. I don’t want to listen to him anymore.” She sniffles and brushes tears from her cheeks. “I fought to wake up, but Blaine was behind him. He was just about to hit me like he has so many times—with the back of his hand across my cheek. It stings so bad, Kipton.” She clutches her face in her trembling hand.

“But you woke up, beautiful. It was just a bad dream. You have me now. I won’t let him hurt you ever again.”

“Then why didn’t you come see me? That’s the only time I don’t have nightmares—when I dream about you. ”

“I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t cry. You know I’d be there if it was up to me.”

“I know. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Sophie. Can you tell me what happened after that?”

“Cara was downstairs with Drew, but came back to check on me. There I was hovered over the trashcan for her to see. I was so ashamed, but I was even angrier because I wasn’t finished. Kipton, I swear I don’t want to do it. I know it’s not actually making anything better in my life. I’ve just been going through a really hard time and old habits came back the second I started spiraling out of control. You have to believe me.”

I rub my hands over my face as I try to process the play-by-play she’s giving me. Scared shitless for her, I’m worried everything from her past is coming back with a vengeance. But she’s smart; she would never do this unless she felt she had no other choice. “I do believe you, Sophie. What happened next?”

“Cara screamed at me. The words that came out of her mouth killed me. I know I’m a fuck up; she doesn’t have to remind me. Then she was crying and shouting that I needed to get help. Something about killing myself and I couldn’t take any more. I grabbed keys off the TV stand and ran. When I noticed they weren’t mine, I remembered we drove your car home from the party. At first I wanted to drive as far away from this town as it would take me. I wanted to go back home of all places, but I ended up driving to your house instead.”

“This town is your home now, Sophie. You can’t keep running. And Cara’s right, you do need to talk with someone about this. I’ll help you as much as I can—I promise.” She looks unsure—not yet convinced. Something tells me she’s never had anyone help her through it before. It’s probably been a lonely journey with nothing waiting for her on the other side. “What’s the blood from on your arm?”

She flips her arm around, searching her skin. “There’s no blood.”

Holding up her wrist I point it out to her. “Right here.”

“I don’t know.” Her eyes dart around the room, nervously. She’s lying.

“I’m only going to say this once Sophie. I need you to tell me the truth, right now. No secrets. We’re done with secrets. No more running either. If we’re going to do this, you have to be all in, no matter what.”

She wipes her tears and shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you still want me?”

“Why the hell wouldn’t I? I’ve been trying to tell you that, Sophie, and now that I know more about why you were pushing me away, it’s making more sense. I know you want me too. I’m not wrong about that, am I?”

“No, Kipton. You’ve never been wrong about that.” She lies back on the bed, slightly more relaxed in comparison to her earlier melt down.

I need her to look at me while we have this conversation. Reaching over, I wrap my arms around her and pick her up so she’s on top of me again. This time she’s straddling my hips. She uses her hands to cover her chest and stomach, but I shake my head at her. “Don’t hide from me. You’re perfect.” She drops her arms shyly. I can sense her nerves and with little warning, I blurt out what I’ve wanted to tell her for so long. “It didn’t take much to do me in, Sophie, but I’ve fallen for you. Hard. But either you have to be all mine or nothing. This back and forth is killing me. We still have a lot to discuss and work through, but I need you to know where my head’s at as far as you and I are concerned.”