I slammed my hand down on the table. “That’s weak bullshit!”

He ignored my outburst.

“I’m going to win her back. I’ll do everything in my power to earn her forgiveness. But tell me something, brother, does she know about your past relationships? Does she know you slept with nearly half the TAs at Auburn your freshman year? Now you listen to me carefully, Samone isn’t just another piece of ass for you or anyone. She’s the type of woman to spend your life with and cherish. I love her and want her happiness . . . above my own. She’s not just someone to screw when the mood hits then toss aside!”

“Me? Toss her aside?” I was outraged. “Are you even hearing yourself right now? You. Threw. Her. Away. You did that! You broke her heart. You have no idea how bad you hurt her. I was the one who picked up the pieces. So don’t even start your holier-than-thou bullshit with me! You. Will. Lose.”

As angry as I was, I could see, when he’d said her name and piece of ass in the same sentence, how it made his teeth clench. But I didn’t need that, to know he loved her. I knew he did. The problem was that I did, too.

“I don’t think of Sam like that at all. I love her. She’s inside my heart. I feel nothing but pain when she’s gone. And I think you should know . . . she’s in love with me, too.”

His face blanched and twisted with pain, but I had to press on. He had to know the truth. I owed him that much.

“She’s told me time and again. We always made sure the last thing we said was that we loved each other. I’m going to fight for her whole heart, brother. I can’t just let her go. I love you, and I’m sorry, but fate screwed us both. I’m going to do my best to be happy again, and that means being with Sam.”

“Over my dead body, will I let you have her. She deserves better than you, Emjay. Damn it, she deserves better than me too, but I know I can give her what she wants and needs to make her happy.”

I’d had enough of his bullshit. “Fine, little brother, if that’s how you want it.”

Alec shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. A bad sign for either of us to do. He’d reached the end of what he could handle, and I felt a good brotherly brawling coming on. Instead, he just looked at me sitting there, a sad, regretful expression on his face. Not saying one more word, he threw some cash on the table to pay for our drinks then walked out of the hotel lounge and, at the time, what felt like my life.

I went to the bathroom and was washing my hands when I caught my reflection in the mirror. Damn that face. Damn this fucking day. I just stood there. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from my reflection staring back at me. I was troubled and uncertain, while my heart pounded like a tattoo gun in my chest. What the hell had I been thinking? How could I have said that? When it was all said and done, and I looked back into the mirror, I just hoped I could live with what I saw.

That was the first black mark on my soul . . .

After Emmett ended our relationship, I cursed love and fate and every thing to do with soul mates and happiness. But I never even entertained the idea of rekindling my relationship with Alec. I couldn’t. I was in love with Emmett.

I knew that Alec was hoping we could reconcile. He made no secret that he desperately wanted to get back what we’d had. But I didn’t feel that way about him anymore. My heart and love belonged to Emmett.

I let Alec stay over periodically, on the nights he would get antsy about leaving late after watching movies, but never in my room. He always slept on the couch.

Christmas was just a week away, and Alec wanted us to spend it together, but I needed to make sure he knew where we stood first. I didn’t want to lead him on in any way. He made mistakes, but I still didn’t know why he’d hurt me. He hinted about a special gift, and I didn’t want any blurred lines between us.

After thinking about it for days, I decided there would never be a good or right time to remind him of the truth, and what I’d said in the café the day we talked. After Emmett broke up with me, Alec tried not to make it obvious, but he definitely turned up his efforts to win me back. So I decided to “rip the Band-Aid off” and get it over with. Because, no matter what I said, the longer I put it off, the more his hope would grow and the worse it was going to hurt him.

“Alec, I think we need to talk again,” I said as he helped me carry bags of groceries upstairs to my condo.

“All right. What about?” His voice sounded nervous. I guess he could tell by the tone of mine that he wasn’t going to like what I had to say.

As I fumbled for the keys in my purse, I turned around and leaned against the front door.

“You know that I love you—I’ll always love you, Alec. But, it’s not in the same way you love me. I want us to remain friends. I just need you to understand that I’m in love with Emmett.”

His eyes grew wide at my words, his mouth dropped open before his brow scrunched down in anger. “You can’t love him, Samone. He’s not capable of loving you. He’s a player, not the type to settle down.”

“That’s not true,” I whispered. “He settled down with me.”

“Yeah, and look how far that got you. He left you when the going got tough. Did he fight for you? No. He knows you’re here . . . with me. I may not have you back yet, but you can damn well bet he knows I’m trying. Only a fool wouldn’t.”

I sighed as I set my purse down on the doormat.

He set the groceries on the floor and roughed his hands through his hair and down his face. “Damn it, Samone, he hurt you! I saw it!”

“Well, I guess it runs in the family, because you hurt me too, only worse—you were cruel.”

His face blanched. “I said I was sorry. I had my reasons.”

“Yeah, so you’ve said. But you still haven’t told me!”

“I’m going explain everything tomorrow, when we have lunch by our tree. Please don’t love him. Don’t waste you heart on him.”

“It’s too late. I love and need him.”

The words were like a hot piece of coal burning in my heart. My chest hurt as I watched the light leave Alec’s eyes.

Until then, I think he had thought and hoped my time with Emmett was nothing but a rebound fling, an infatuation he hoped to extinguish.

After that, everything was a blur. It had all happened so fast, and I was frozen where I stood. He stepped back to lean on the railing, like he was trying to gather his thoughts.

The damn wood railing broke, causing Alec to fall backwards. His arms flew up and his feet flew out. I watched in helpless horror as he tumbled, head over feet, down the stairs.

I screamed out in terror and ran down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I knelt by his side, as he lay there, unmoving. I fumbled in my purse for my phone and dialed 911. I wasn’t sure if I would ever see his eyes again, whether alight with happiness, or devoid of joy. I’d take either as long as it meant he was okay.

That was the last time I saw his crystal blue eyes, and they were devoid of their usual light, because I couldn’t give his love a chance. Because I loved two men, and couldn’t leave well enough alone. I should have walked away from both of them.

I wish I’d never told him that I loved Emmett, too. Emmett had ended things between us. His words, “It was fun while it lasted,” had resonated in my head, but it just felt so dishonest to keep it from Alec. I didn’t want him living under false pretenses and hope for us. I wanted his understanding. Instead, I only gave him more pain.