“Yeah, man, that’s—”

“I know what you’re thinking, and that’s fine dude. I don’t care. I am so damn happy and in love. Someday, Riley, you just wait and see. You’ll be in love and know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Dude, you are a girl! I tried like two different times to say how fucking cool I thought that was, but you just kept going on and on and on. I couldn’t have gotten a word in even if I was using a damn megaphone! And Emmett, dude. I know already, man. Alison is it for me. I am so in love with that girl, she makes me feel all sorts of weird happy shit. Sometimes, I worry about my manliness, but I chalk it up to being in love, and I feel better again.”

I laughed at Riley, but was happy for my friend. I always knew if anyone could calm that boy down it would be Alison, and she’d done a damn good job.

“So, Ry, Sam and I are going to take our relationship to the next level. I’m just waiting for her to get home from seeing Alison and Tamron. She gave them the bracelets she made.”

A knock sounded on my door. Riley answered it and let Marchello, Alec’s old housemate, in. He had an old-style storage chest with him and looked a haggard mess.

“What’s up, Marchello, are you all right, man?” I asked.

“Hey, Emmett, Riley. Uh, no, man. I got something you need to see. I don’t know if you should show Sam, too, but I think you need to see it and figured, when you were ready, you could call her.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“I think we finally have the answers to Alec’s behavior. I was going through the attic at our place and found this old storage chest, so I opened it up, figuring it was Alec’s. It has some stuff in it and a bunch of letters he wrote to your mom. I don’t know, maybe, like . . . a way of writing things down in a journal or something, but . . . not. Anyway, you need to read these letters. Then I think you need to call Sam and let her read them, too,” he finished as he dropped down onto my couch.

I sat down next to him and stared at the old chest. It was one he’d had when we were kids. My hands felt heavy as I reached forward to flip open the latch on the front. I held my breath, and I pulled his precious items out, and then set them on the coffee table.

There was the miniature dolphin water globe he’d gotten when he was eight years old on our family trip to Panama City Beach. I turned it upside down and watched as the glitter floated around the two dolphins. Remembering when he’d seen it in the gift shop, and the pure look of wonder on his face.

After setting it back on the table, I picked up his Swiss army knife that Dad gave him when he’d turned thirteen. It matched the one Dad had given me. With a shaky hand, I set it back down and picked up the stack of folded letters.

I read them, and as I took in his tear-stained words, my heart died. I needed a drink, so I poured two fingers of whiskey into a glass and sat down on my couch. We now had the answers to Alec’s strange and cruel behavior toward Sam. Marchello was right. I had to call her. She had to know.

She came over, and after Riley and Marchello left, we sat down and read Alec’s letters to my mom together. I held her hand and stroked her back as the tears flowed down both of our faces.

Alec’s letters:

Her hands shook as she sat gripping Alec’s letters tightly. “Oh Emmett,” she sobbed as I took Alec’s letters, and set them back into his storage chest. She curled into my arms, and I held her tight.

“I know, Peach . . . I know.” I ran my hand up and down her back and kissed the top of her head.

“We have to look at these letters for what they are, an answer to a lot of our unanswered questions. We can’t move forward if we dwell on our guilt. We still didn’t do anything wrong, but now we know why Alec did and said things he did. Thankfully, we finally have answers, and now, some closure.”

Sam and I held each other for hours while she had fits of crying, and when she finally fell asleep that night, I carried her to the bed and let her rest. The next morning when I woke up, I just lay there and watched her sleep. She was so peaceful. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing that brokenness on her face again when she woke up, so I stayed silent and let her sleep for as long as possible.

As she lay there sleeping, I found myself thinking about Alec’s letters. I couldn’t believe he’d gone through all of that alone. Why didn’t he tell me about it?

The next day, while Sam was having lunch and another spa day with her sister, Tricia, I called Aunt Robin, and she said she’d never heard anything from Alec about his condition. Since he was already eighteen before the date of the first letter, we guessed he decided he should go to the doctor on his own.

I read the letters to her over the phone so she could understand what had happened to him, as well. But somehow, reading his words out loud and saying it made it so much more real to me.

I broke down, and Aunt Robin and I cried together on the phone.

“I wish I could’ve taken Alec’s letters over to your house. We could have read them together in person.”

“Sweetie, do you want me to come home?”

“No. It’s fine. Y’all saved a long time for this trip. It’s not like you can go back anytime soon.”

“Really, it’s okay. Kent and I can cut the trip short. We only extended because he had work over here, and I thought I’d stay a while since he had a hotel and had to be here anyway.”

“Nah, stay and have some fun. There’s no use in both of us sitting here grieving. We both need to focus on the positive things in life.”

“All right. If you change your mind, just call, and I’ll be on the first flight back to the states.”

“Thanks, Aunt Robin.”

“Anytime. So how was the trip to Hawaii? Was the Toro Nagashi ceremony nice?”

“It couldn’t have been more perfect. It was peaceful. Sometimes I feel like shit for thinking this, but it felt good to say goodbye to him.”

“No, don’t feel bad, Emmett. It’s a natural part of grieving. So, are you and Sam back together? How is she holding up?”