And I don’t know why, but for some reason my stomach sinks to the ground.

Something is wrong.

“Come on,” I say, tugging her toward the doors that lead out to the garden, but she stands firm, her eyes trained on the floor. I glance back at her, waiting. When she finally lifts her head, her face is pale, her hand shaking in mine. I want desperately to pull her into me, but the way she’s looking at me – like I’m a wounded animal and she’s the one who shot me – stops me from moving. I feel paralyzed by her gaze, immobilized by the words I haven’t even heard yet.

“Skyler?”

She sucks in a long breath before hardening her lips into a thin line. “It’s over, Kip.”

“What?” I ask, moving to grab her other hand. She pulls away, ripping the one I was still holding from my grip and crossing her arms. Her eyes shift to the side and I see her tongue working against the inside of her cheek. She’s trying to calm down, trying not to show emotion. I recognize the move from the cab ride to the tournament I watched her play in.

She’s putting on her poker face.

“Skyler, don’t do this. Come on.” I reach for her, but she steps even farther back, the distance growing colder between us. I leave my hands outstretched, waiting for her to stop whatever show she’s putting on and fall into my arms, but she stands unwavering. A hardness starts to spread over her features and I try to swallow, but my throat just constricts, tightening around the growing lump I feel suffocating me.

“It’s done, Kip. I don’t need you anymore. I just wanted to get back at Adam. I wanted to make him jealous. And it worked. And now I don’t need you.”

The words fly from her mouth in surprisingly convincing tones, but she still won’t look at me.

“Is this a joke?” I ask, almost laughing. This is not happening. There’s no way she can possibly be serious right now. It’s all an act. This is her poker face, this is her pretending.

Right?

“No, it’s not a fucking joke, Kip,” she says louder, this time her eyes finding mine. They’re cold, detached – complete fucking stone. Skyler rarely ever curses, and when she does it’s a “hell” or a “shit” or the occasional “damn”. Hearing “fuck” lash out from her beautiful mouth takes me by surprise, like admiring a beautiful spider web before witnessing it catching an unsuspecting prey.

The people around us start to notice the commotion and I feel the heat from their stares. I try again to swallow, but nothing comes. No relief.

“I don’t feel anything for you. I never have, okay? I’ve been in love with Adam since last year and that hasn’t changed. Now that I have his attention again, I don’t need you. It was fun, but it’s over. Here.” She pulls the black box with the glasses I bought her from her purse. “Take these back. I don’t want them.” With those last words, her lip quivers a bit and her eyes flick to mine before she turns and storms away, disappearing through the double doors.

Holding the box in my hand, I look around at the faces. Kade. Jess. Ashlei. Skyler’s Little seems sick, Erin looks at me like a sad puppy, and Adam stands right beside her. But his eyes aren’t on me.

They’re on the doors Skyler just walked through.

I clench my fists together, letting out a cross between a grunt and a scream before barreling toward the doors. Shoving through them, I quickly find Skyler standing near the carpool area and grab her arm, whipping her around with enough force to show her I mean business without hurting her.

“Bullshit,” I say, my breath escaping my lips in an erratic rhythm. I will my heart to calm down, to not pound so hard against my ribs but it won’t listen. “This is fucking bullshit and you know it. You may have every other person in there fooled, but I can see straight through you, Skyler Thorne. Why are you doing this? Is it Erin?”

I watch as tears quickly pool in her eyes before a single tear spills over. She wipes at it quickly. “Kip, please, just leave it alone. Just let me go.”

“No!” I yell, louder than I expected. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing right now. This wasn’t part of the plan, none of this was – but I can’t stop myself. I refuse to let her go. Not right now, not like this. “Fuck that, Skyler. You care about me, I know you do. This isn’t about Adam or Erin or anyone else. This is about us. You and me. Stop letting her control you. For once, ask yourself what you want and fuck what everyone else thinks.”

She squeezes her eyes shut tight and more tears escape. My heart aches, a sickening feeling lurching from deep in my gut. I reach out and run the pad of my thumb down her cheek, erasing a stream. She leans into my hand, her lips parting slightly, before shoving me away. We both stand there silently, my hands open at my sides and her eyes still shut off from the world. When she opens them, my stomach sinks further.

Ice.

“There is no you and me. There never was.”

The words slam hard against my chest and my lungs ache for air that won’t come. Reality is the lump in my throat, the jagged pill that I can’t swallow. She doesn’t want me, there is no me and her.

There is no us.

Suddenly, I feel hands come down hard on my shoulders. “Hey, man, I think you need to go back inside,” Adam says, pulling me toward the doors. I shrug him off forcefully and turn to meet his eyes.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

He puffs up his chest, meeting mine as our eyes level out. “You don’t want to do this, Kip. Don’t lose your head right now.”

“Fuck you.” I shove him hard and he stumbles back as Skyler lets out a cry.

“Stop! Kip please, stop!”

Adam quickly recovers and shoves me back before Kade and a few of the older brothers step between us, pushing us apart. They hold tight to my arms while Adam holds up his hands, letting them know he’s cool. He turns to Skyler and holds out his arm. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

I try to rush toward him again but my brothers hold me still, my force met with stiff resistance. Skyler’s eyes meet mine one last time and I try to reach her, try to use my own eyes to tell her not to do this, to beg her not to do this. Softly, she just barely whispers a “sorry” before turning away. Her eyes flutter closed and she brings her hand to cover her trembling lips as Adam shelters her under his arm and leads her to a waiting cab.

When they disappear inside, my brothers release me and Kade gently places his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. Chicks are fucking crazy. You can’t trust them.”

I shrug him off and before I can stop myself, I bolt. I run down the carpool lane, out past the gate, down the road and over the bridge that leads to the beach. My legs burn, my lungs ache for air, my eyes strain against the tears I won’t let fall. Each step takes me farther and farther from the dream, from Skyler and everything I thought could be. The pain radiating in my muscles, the ragged breaths racking my body remind me of the cold hard truth. Slowly, I feel the mirage lift and it’s there that I find my resolve, my unyielding reminder of why I’m here and what I need to do.

It’s over. We’re over. I didn’t want it to happen this way, but in reality, it had to. It’s better this way. My focus centers and I feel a small smile tug at the corner of my lip as I reach the beach, collapsing to my knees in the sand. A laugh starts low in my stomach and rumbles up through my throat, bouncing off the waves in a sinister echo. I throw my hands up into the air and let it consume me. My sides hurt even more, the pain of running mixed with this laugh that seems to be setting me free.

Finally, I fall silent, my breaths calming with the ocean. In and out. In and out. Skyler has never been just a mission for me. She’s always been more. From the moment I met her, there was a constant pull – a spell that bound me to her, regardless of my father and his plan. But now, that gravity has been obliterated. I’m free-floating – a little scarred, but still holding on to the pieces. And now, I feel my resolve making its way back to the surface. I’ve never felt more determined to do what I came here to do. This was my wake up call, my reality check, my dream reminding me what’s important and what’s not.