And with Kip, I feel like a goddess.

Beautiful.

Invincible.

Immortal.

But the truth is, I’m not a goddess. I can break. I know that, and yet I’m still here, wrapped in the arms of the one who could shatter me into pieces.

I guess I should start praying now.

Twenty-four hours. That’s all that stands between me and Spring Break. Just one day and one midterm. After Dr. O’Neal’s test tomorrow, Skyler and I will be free. The cruise leaves Friday and everyone is too focused on packing enough booze for the trip to focus on tests right now. I just can’t wait to have a whole week with Skyler. Although, it would be better if I could just be with her without worrying about being seen.

It’s only been a few days since I called things off with Erin and I know it’s going to take a while for Skyler to be comfortable with people knowing we’re together, but I can’t help but hope it’ll be sooner rather than later. We’ve only been sneaking around for a few days but it’s driving me insane. I try not to stare at her too long or laugh too much. When we’re in a room with other people, I have to pretend like she’s just another person in the group, another friend to joke around with when really I know she’s going to be in my bed later. It’s maddening.

Almost as maddening as the inner battle raging inside me ever since the night of the tournament. My dad has called three times now since Friday night but I haven’t answered. The truth is, I don’t know what to say yet. So much has changed. One minute I’m plotting how to take Skyler down, loving that I’m finding her weaknesses and then the next I’ve got her pressed up against the wall in my apartment with our clothes in a pile on the floor. I knew she still cared about me, but I don’t think I realized just how much I still cared about her. Not until Friday night, anyway.

Everything in me wants to believe Skyler, to believe she feels the way she says she does. I feel what’s happening between us, but there’s still something she’s hiding. I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s something. How? Because I see the same reservations in her eyes that exist in my own.

I just don’t know what to think right now. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. Common sense says I should pick up the phone and tell my dad I can’t do what he’s asking of me, but for some reason I can’t. Is it because I’m afraid of his reaction? Is it because I’m a pussy and the thought of student loans and being cut off from my parents scares the shit out of me? Is it because I’m worried I’ll ruin the relationship with my dad only to be burned by Skyler in the end? Fuck! I don’t know. I honestly don’t. But I do know I’m running out of time to figure this shit out.

“I never thought studying could be so sexy,” I whisper in Skyler’s ear just before plopping into the seat across from her. The Greek Library is always quiet, but midterms cause a small spike in activity. Luckily, Skyler managed to snag a small table near the back, so it’s not too bad back here. She smiles up at me through her lashes, tucking a loose strand of hair from the messy bun on her head behind her ear. I slide the still steaming coffee cup toward her and start pulling my books from my bag. “Try that.”

She shakes her head, as if she’s certain I’ll be wrong again, but when she sips the liquid, her eyes grow wide in surprise and she smiles. “You figured it out.”

“I knew it!” I say a little louder than I intended. A group of four girls at the other end of a long bookcase shush me and Skyler giggles. “I knew it,” I repeat, whispering this time. “You don’t even like coffee, do you?”

“Nope,” she says, scrunching her nose a little. “It’s nasty. And it makes your breath smell.”

“Which is why I picked hot cocoa this time. I noticed the only time you didn’t give a sour ass face was when it was a super sweet latte. The girl in front of me ordered a hot cocoa and it’s like a light bulb went off.”

Skyler laughs a little, taking another sip of her cocoa. “Well, it’s about time. I didn’t think you would figure it out.”

“I know more about you than you think I do, Skyler Thorne.” I throw her a cocky grin, but my face falls a little as I realize just how true that statement is. Frowning, I open my book to the marked page where I left off studying last night and sip my coffee slowly, trying to focus. With Skyler sitting across from me, it’s practically impossible.

“Erin talked to me last night,” Skyler says, wiggling her pencil between her fingers as she looks back up at me through her lashes. I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest, preparing for the worst.

“And?”

She sighs. “I don’t know, she seems okay, honestly. She was talking to me about…” Skyler trails off for a second and I get that feeling that there’s more to the story with Erin than she’s letting on again. “Just, everything. And she’s sad, but I don’t know, she seemed to get it, I guess. She said that it felt different from the first time you two were together, that she felt like you were distracted. She said...” She pauses, biting her lip softly. “She said you didn’t act the way with her that you did with me.”

I shrug. “Well, that’s because she’s not you. I don’t do or say anything to other girls that I do to you.”

She smiles, twirling her pencil again. “Well anyway, I think things are going to be okay. She still needs time, but it’s not hitting her as hard as I thought it would. She’s already going out with the girls and distracting herself with other guys.”

“So does that mean I can stop pretending like I don’t want you?” I ask, licking my lip just to get a rise out of her.

Skyler balls up a sheet of paper and pegs me in the head with it. “Stop that. She still needs time, Kip. Things are fragile.”

“Fine,” I say, pouting. She smiles and suddenly I feel her foot slide up the inside hem of my jeans. I lean forward, reaching my hand under the table to slowly massage her calf and she grabs my hand in hers. We’re holding hands under the table in a library.

I think we’re in third grade.

As we study, I steal glances at Skyler, and every now and then catch her doing the same. We’re both having a hard time focusing and I can’t help but count down the minutes until I can taste her again. I thought I was addicted to her before? Jesus. I’m at the point of no return, now.

“So, I’m entering some tournaments on the cruise,” Skyler says, digging in her bag for something. After a few seconds she pulls out a lollipop and quickly unwraps it, popping it in her mouth.

“Really? I didn’t know they had any.”

She nods, pulling the sucker from her mouth to speak again. My dick hardens in my jeans at the sound she makes sucking the juice from it. How fucking cliché, getting turned on by a girl licking a lollipop.

What can I say? I’m just a guy.

“Yeah. Every day, actually. Apparently there are going to be a few pros on this ship. It’s some sort of fundraiser thing. Anyway, there’s a women only tournament on Saturday and then a higher stakes one on Sunday that I think I’m going to do. If I win them both, I’d have enough to pay the entry fee in Vegas.”

“That’s awesome. Well, I’ll be there to help prep you and stuff. I did get some video on my phone of the tournament Friday, if you want to review how not to get your ass kicked.”

Skyler rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair. I wait for her to smart off, but instead she moves the sucker to her mouth again, her lips puckering over the edges of the shiny red ball. With her eyes locked on mine, she slowly swirls her tongue around the edges before sticking it all the way in her mouth again.