“God, do you hear yourself?” I throw my hands up, exhausted with the conversation. I’m sure half the house is listening to us behind the doors of their rooms by now. “You manipulated me, Erin. You know what, I will give you one thing – I should have stopped it. But I couldn’t, I didn’t have the strength – not until after Kip made me realize to stop caring so much about what you and all the people on this campus think of me.” I shake my head, realizing how big of a mess this whole thing truly is. “I don’t know if I want to be president next year. But if I run, it will be because I want to. Not because our family has been in this room for as long as anyone can remember, not because everyone would talk if I didn’t run, and damn sure not because you want me to.”

Erin nods softly, the tears slowly drying on her face. “Look, I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for everything. I know it’s not going to be like a light switch for you to forgive me, but please just tell me you’ll try. I’m human, I made a mistake. But I love you, Sky. And whether you think I do or not, I love you regardless of what you wear, who you’re with, or what position you hold.” She gestures to the other rooms down the hall. “We all do. We’re your sisters, Skyler. You may think we judge you based on those things, but we don’t.”

I swallow, fighting back tears of my own now. “I love you, too, Big. And I forgive you. I’m not ready to move back to where we were before, but I’m willing to try if you are.”

Erin smiles, more tears flooding her eyes as she nods.

“But don’t ever put me in this kind of position again, Ex.”

“Never.”

I pause, nodding for a moment. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Erin says, still smiling.

I turn and leave her room without saying another word. When I open the door to mine and Jess’s room, the girls all scramble to get back into bed without me noticing.

And they fail miserably.

“You guys didn’t hear any of that, did you?” I ask, smiling.

“Nope.”

“Not a word.”

“What?”

They all speak at the same time, trying to keep an innocent look plastered on their faces. I shake my head and laugh as I jump back into bed with my Little. Hitting play on the remote, I settle in and try to block out the thoughts in my head for a while.

“We really do all love you, Sky,” Jess says, leaning up. “Regardless of everything else Erin said and did, that part was true. I don’t care if you wear pearls and a dress or a muumuu, you’re still one of my best friends and I’ll always be there for you.”

“Ditto,” Ashlei says.

“Me too,” Cassie agrees, pulling me in for a hug.

I smile, hugging her back. “I love you girls, too,” I say, looking at all of them. Reciting a line from our symphony, I put two fingers over my heart. “My sisters are there always, through harmony and strife. KKB forever…”

They all return my smile, placing their fingers in the same placement as mine as they finish it out.

“KKB for life.”

Kip is different.

I don’t know how else to describe it. He’s physically here – he cooked me dinner, held me close while we watched a movie, kissed me just as slow and sensual as ever before loving me between his sheets – but mentally, he’s gone. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to pull him back to earth.

“Are you sure we’re okay?” I ask for what has to be at least the tenth time. I’m sure it’s annoying, but it can’t be half as frustrating as him avoiding whatever it is that’s bothering him.

We’re still lying in bed, our bodies tangled up together. He pulls me in a little closer and kisses my forehead. “We’re fine, babe.”

“Just fine?” I lean up to look at him. He sighs, gently moving me off of him as he stands and pulls on his boxers. I watch as the muscles in his back ebb and flow with the movement, pulling me in a trance.

“Sky, please, I’m asking you to just not push right now.”

My stomach aches at his words. I hate this. We’re not fighting, but something is off and he won’t tell me what. We’ve never been here before. We’ve been pissed at each other, sure, but all those times we’ve been apart. Now we’re together and something is wrong, but what?

“Are you still mad at me? For the Erin thing?”

He laughs a little, running his fingers through his tousled hair. “No, Skyler. I told you I forgave you for that and I meant it. I’m not even thinking about it anymore. It’s done.”

I swallow, hating the possibility of his answer to my next question. “Are you done with me?”

His eyes grow wide and he crosses the room to sit on the bed with me again. “What? No, baby. Are you kidding me? You’re the only thing keeping me grounded right now, the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.” His eyes are pained and his jaw tense. “I don’t deserve you, Skyler.”

“I don’t understand, why do you keep saying that?”

He opens his mouth to say something, but then stops himself, shaking his head. “I can’t get into it tonight, okay? I love you, Skyler.” My stomach still flutters at those words. “I do, so fucking much. But I’m going through a lot right now. And I want to tell you, I will tell you, but I can’t tell you tonight. I know that’s not fair, but I’m asking you to be okay with it. For me.”

Kip lifts my hand in his to his lips and kisses my fingers, waiting for me to reply. I nod softly. “Okay.”

He smiles and pulls me in for a long, slow kiss, making my thoughts go fuzzy. “I’m going to jump in the shower real quick. Want to join?” He winks and for just a second the playful Kip is back, but even still he’s hidden behind sad, hooded eyes.

“I have to turn in that paper before midnight. Let me finish and submit it real quick and then I’ll be there.”

“Don’t keep me waiting too long.” He leans up and kisses me again before turning toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

I sigh, leaning over the bed for my bag and retrieving my laptop. I don’t like that he won’t tell me what’s going on, but whatever it is, it’s something he’s not ready to deal with just yet. I can respect that. When he is ready, I’ll be here.

When I open my laptop and click the power button, nothing happens. I try a few more times and curse under my breath when I realize it’s dead. I didn’t bring my charger with me and this paper is due in twenty minutes. I scan the room for Kip’s laptop and find it set up on the small desk pushed against the far wall. Quickly, I grab my computer and take it to the desk, pulling the cord from his laptop and trying it in mine.

Nothing.

Shit. I knew it was a long shot that it would work for mine, too, but it was worth a try. I have the paper in my email, I just need to format it and add a few sentences in the conclusion. Why didn’t I just do this before I left the house? Idiot.

Can brunettes have blonde moments?

“Kip?” I call out over my shoulder, opening his laptop. “What’s the password on your laptop? Mine’s dead and I forgot my charger.”

He doesn’t answer, the shower muting my question. I go to open the door to ask him again when his home screen pops up without asking for a password.

“Perfect,” I murmur, double clicking the Internet Explorer icon. I log into my email and pull up the paper before quickly formatting it and typing out my final thoughts. By the time I send the email to my professor, there’s less than two minutes left until midnight.

Talk about a close call.

“Sky?” Kip calls over the shower.

“I’m coming!”

I exit the browser window and start to close the laptop screen again when a folder in the right hand corner of the desktop catches my eye.

It’s labeled with my name.

I glance back over my shoulder at the bathroom, but the door is still closed, the shower running. I know it’s wrong, snooping through his stuff, but my curiosity overwhelms my conscience and I double click the folder until a list of documents pops up. There are a few photos of me playing poker and the video that he took that night I blew the tournament downtown. I breathe a sigh of relief, it’s just the research he’s been doing to help me prep for May.