Ashlei gives a small smile. “Okay. Wear something nice, it’s formal attire. And for Pete’s sake, take a shower. You smell like complete ass.” I chuckle a little, but she’s still dead serious. “We don’t need to ride together or anything, just meet me at the venue. I’ll text you the address.”

I nod and she moves toward the door, pausing once more when she has it open. “Skyler loves you, you know?” Her words hit me hard and I inhale a deep, harsh breath. “Whatever is happening between you two, I can see that hasn’t changed.” She stares at me for a few moments more, but when I don’t respond she closes the door behind her and I’m alone again.

Except I’m never alone, anymore. I live with the shadow of my father’s impending death constantly looming around me. I find the couch just in time for my knees to give way and I fall into it, digging the heels of my hands into my eyes. All I want is to run to Skyler, to hold her tight in my arms while I tell her everything and lean on her to support me through all this shit. But I hurt her, and I can’t even undo the pain I’ve caused. I’m her cancer. I’ve killed the light in her eyes and I hate myself for it.

But maybe it’s not too late to save her.

It’s hot again in South Florida. This bowtie and tux aren’t really helping, either. Plus the fact I’m fucking nervous. So what I’m trying to say is, I’m sweating.

The cab dropped me in front of the tall, flamingo pink hotel where Kappa Kappa Beta is hosting their formal about ten minutes ago but I’m still standing outside, trying to muster up some kind of courage to walk in. I kind of wish Ashlei would have let me ride with her now because I realize I have to walk into this place on my own. I know some of my brothers will be here, but it doesn’t bring me any comfort because the only thing that really matters is that she will be here.

And I don’t think she’ll be happy to see me.

Inhaling a deep, shaky breath, I make my way up the stairs and inside. When I round the corner and follow the signs to the ballroom, my nerves amplify. Music and laughter spills out into the hallway and I’m just about to bail and go home when Ashlei walks out of the double doors.

“There you are,” she says when she sees me. “I was just about to give up and think you flaked on me.”

“Two seconds later and that would have been the case,” I murmur, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my slacks. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

She rolls her eyes and leads me into the ballroom. I follow her to the table where they’re all sitting, cringing a little when I see not just Erin, but Adam, too. Skyler’s Little and Jess are both there, as well. But Skyler isn’t.

Jess’s eyes grow wide when I approach the table with Ashlei. “So, I see your date finally showed.” She gives me a once over before pursing her lips and focusing on Ashlei.

“Yep, have something to say about it?”

“No, but I bet I know someone who will.”

As if on cue, I feel eyes on my back and turn to find Skyler at the bar with Clinton, the one everyone calls Bear. I met him on Spring Break and he seemed cool, but my guess is he isn’t my biggest fan now.

Skyler’s blue eyes are shining even across the room and she’s dressed in a long, gold and glittery dress with a slit that shows off her killer legs. Her hair is curled and flowing down the front of her right shoulder and I can’t help but kick myself again for losing her. It’s painful to see her, more painful than I thought it would be.

Apparently she feels the same, because after taking one look at me she downs the two shots in front of her. I think one of them was supposed to be Clinton’s because he laughs and catches the bartender’s attention to order again. I sit down at the table just as salads are served. When Skyler and Clinton make their way back to the table, she doesn’t waste any time.

“What are you doing here?”

Well, it’s not my choice of words, but at least she’s speaking to me.

“He came with me,” Ashlei butts in, sitting up a little straighter. Skyler eyes Ashlei, clearly waiting for her to explain but Ashlei doesn’t go into details. Skyler huffs, plopping down in her seat and taking a strong pull from her mixed drink before starting in on her salad. She turns her chair away from the rest of the table and focuses on chatting with Clinton.

I give Ashlei a sideways glance but she shakes her head. “It’ll be fine. Just give her a while to warm up, she’s still really hurt.”

“Exactly, so then why am I here rubbing salt in the wound?”

“You’re supposed to be the one nursing her back to health.”

I sigh, taking a bite of salad even though I’m far from hungry. Dinner drags on and I can’t decide what’s worse – watching Skyler ignore me, listening to Erin talk, or catching death glares from Adam every chance he gets. Even though he’s with Cassie now, apparently he still feels protective over Skyler. He hasn’t talked to me since news of us splitting got around and now he’s practically cracking his knuckles at the table.

Why am I here?

“Excuse me,” I say when I finish dinner, standing. Skyler looks up at me, but doesn’t say anything. I make my way to the bathroom and splash cold water in my face, trying to calm myself.

“Kip!” I turn just as Kade breaks through the bathroom door. “I thought that was you I saw! Damn man I’m glad you’re here. I need my partner in crime tonight. I came with this chick Arielle, but Jess has been giving me the eyes all night and I’m kind of thinking she’s over the shit that douchebag, Greg, has put her through. I might make my move. Is that stupid or just dumb?”

He’s talking sixty miles a minute and clearly is oblivious to my current turmoil. I do my best to smile genuinely. “Who cares? If it’s what you want, go for it. Just don’t be a dick to the girl who brought you. Is she into you or did you guys come as friends?”

“Friends, but I think she might think it’s something more.”

“Ah,” I appraise the situation. “Well, tread lightly. It’s bad enough to get kicked in the balls, you don’t want it to happen when your neck is constricted by a tie, too.”

“True story,” he says, fixing his tie in the mirror. “I fucking hate getting dressed up like this. Jeans should be formal.”

I laugh and shake my head, enjoying the ease he’s bringing to the night. I actually like getting dressed up, so I don’t chime in on that one. And I definitely don’t mind seeing Skyler dressed up.

Even if I can’t touch her.

A sharp pain wrecks my chest again and I expel another long breath to clear it. Kade claps his hand on my shoulder. “You all right, dude?”

“I’m as good as I can be, considering.”

It takes a minute, but finally recognition sets in on Kade’s face. “Oh shit, you and Skyler are still split? I figured you’d be here with her.”

I shake my head. “Ashlei invited me. She said she thought Skyler would want me here, but I think it’s clear that’s not the case.”

Kade shrugs. “Well, you probably won’t have to deal with her much longer. I think she was drunk before we all got on the bus to drive here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, man. She’s drowning out the memories, tonight. Good thing she came here with Bear and not another guy because I’m pretty sure they’d be scoring later.” I punch him in the arm a little harder than I intended and he rubs it out. “Fuck, man! I’m just saying.”

We make our way back to the ballroom and I immediately see that Kade is right. Everyone is dancing, Skyler included, but she looks sloppy already. She’s got a drink in her hand that keeps spilling on the floor as she moves, but her hands are in the air and there’s a huge smile on her face. She does look happy, and I can’t be mad at that.

Ashlei pulls me out onto the floor, too, and we dance a little, though she’s mostly with the girls and I’m mostly with my brothers. We’re all being goofy, doing ridiculous dance moves, but I can’t keep my eyes off Skyler. She’s trying her damndest not to look at me, either, but somehow our eyes always make their way back to each other.