Checking my watch, I cringe when I see it’s eleven minutes past the time I asked her to meet me. Even though she’s probably not coming, I can’t find it in my heart to leave just yet. I lean against the concrete railing that circles the fountain and keep scanning the growing crowd of people. The last fountain show is at midnight, and with each passing minute, the space around me grows smaller and smaller.

It’s a perfect night – warm, with a cool breeze sweeping in every now and then. The sky is clear, the Vegas lights bright, and the buzz of excitement that always lives on the strip is at full force. I always envisioned walking through Vegas with Skyler, being tourists together. I thought we would ride in the Gondolas at the Venetian, zip line down Fremont street, win or lose a shit ton of money by betting our lucky number on every Roulette table we passed. That’s how it would have been if I would have called things off with my father, but when I found out he was sick, every plan I had changed.

And now I’m here with my heart in my hand hoping like hell the girl I sacrificed to make my dad’s dream come true will give me a chance to tell her why I still deserve her.

When I know that I don’t.

What do I actually expect?

If Skyler does show up, I’ll be lucky if she lets me get a word in edgewise. I hurt her, I know that, but I also know that I love her. And for whatever reason, she let me win tonight. I’m not sure what that says. Does that mean she just wants to be done with me? Does it mean she feels sorry for me? Does it mean her priorities changed? Fuck! I don’t know. And the hardest thing to realize is I might not get my answers.

I catch a glimpse of long, flowing brown hair and icy blue eyes through a break in the crowd and my breath hitches. Standing up straighter, I wipe my palms on my dark jeans and swallow as Skyler makes her way closer, her eyes never leaving mine. When she’s standing just a few feet in front of me, her hair blowing gently in the cool breeze rolling in from the desert, I have no idea what to do. I asked her to come, I prayed that she would, but now that she’s here, my words are stuck in my throat.

“Hi,” she almost whispers.

“Hi.”

She tucks the blowing strands behind her ear and chews the inside of her lip. It’s then that I realize she’s nervous, too. “Congratulations,” she offers, smiling a little.

“Thanks.” I return the smile, but it feels forced and fake.

For a long moment, we just stand there, words hanging between us but neither of us making the move to reach out and grab them. Shifting, I tuck my hands in my pockets and stand up straighter. “Skyler, why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

I level my face. “Don’t make me say it. You know what.”

She shrugs. “Maybe I was trying to have more faith in our lucky number.”

“You knew before he even dealt those fours in the flop that I had a pocket pair. Don’t act like you didn’t. Why did you let me win?”

She sighs, crossing her arms across her small frame. “Because, Kip. I knew you wanted this for your dad and frankly you deserved it.”

“And you didn’t?”

“I didn’t say that.” She huffs. She’s angry and I’m trying to be serious, but she’s so fucking adorable when she’s mad. All I want to do is say fuck it and cover that frowning mouth with my own.

“My reasons for wanting to win were no better than yours. Skyler, this was important to you and your family.”

“Well maybe it wasn’t as important to me as you!” She yells, the words shooting from her beautiful mouth like knives. A few bystanders turn to glance at us but quickly pull their eyes away again. Skyler shifts uncomfortably, her fingers still playing with her hair.

“Are you saying you’re not important to me?”

“No, I’m saying you didn’t have a choice. I did. The runner-up prize is plenty for me to pay off school and set my family up, Kip. And even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter. You did this for your dad, for his dying wish. If it were me in your shoes, I know you would have done the same.”

And just like that, every ounce of control over my body is gone. I feel my muscles tense and I’m shaking slightly, though I don’t think she can see it. No one else in this world would have done what she did tonight, and she just admitted that she didn’t do it because she couldn’t stand to be there with me, or because she felt sorry for me – she did it because I care about my dad, and she cares about me.

My brows pull together. “So what does this mean?”

Skyler shrugs. “I don’t know. It means you won and I lost, I guess.”

“I don’t know if I agree with that.”

She tilts her head slightly, questioning.

“I may have won the tournament,” I breathe, taking a small step toward her. “But did I lose you?”

For the first time tonight, she pulls her eyes away from me and to the ground. I freeze, my hands by my sides but desperately aching to reach out and touch her.

“I don’t know where we go from here, Kip. I don’t know if we can come back from this. We lied. Both of us. We played games and even though all the cards are on the table now, I don’t know if this is a game we can finish playing and still survive.”

My bottom lip shakes and I look toward the sky like someone can save me, willing myself to keep control. Slowly, I bring my eyes back to hers and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry, Skyler. For everything. And I know those two words won’t do anything to heal the fucking hole I’ve punched in you but I mean them. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that nothing in this world is more important to me than you are. Nothing.” I pause, trying to find the right words to say. “You’ve changed everything about my life. Every dream I thought I had means nothing to me now if you’re not a part of them, too. I’ve never opened myself up to love, I’ve never let anything get in the way of my career. But you came in and turned all that into nothing. You obliterated everything I thought was important. All that matters to me, Skyler, is you.”

Skyler fidgets, her eyes on the ground. “How do I know what was real and what wasn’t? How do I know when you were getting to know me because you wanted to as opposed to when you were just playing a game?”

I move closer but she steps away, keeping the space between us. I wish she’d just let me pull her into me. If she could feel my heart, the way it beats only for her, she’d know the answer to her question.

“Everything was real, Skyler. It was real when we kissed the night we met and the electricity shocked us both. It was real when I asked you about your past. It was real when I helped you figure out who you really are and told you not to be ashamed of her. It was real when you ripped my fucking heart out at the Valentine’s Day dance.” I pause, my body trembling at that moment, knowing this night could very well end the same way. “When I touched you for the first time, when we fought because we cared too much about each other, when we made sacrifices and decisions we weren’t proud of – all of that was real. This,” I say, stepping toward her. This time she doesn’t move. “We, are real.”

She still won’t look at me, and the pain in my chest is almost too much to handle. I know it’s a poor bet, but I’m running out of options. I reach into my pocket and pull out the lone black die I bought after the tournament ended.

“Let’s let fate decide. Roll the die,” I say, holding out the shiny black plastic in my hand. “If it’s a four, we give this game another round. If it’s anything else, we walk away.”

She eyes me through her lashes. “You know those odds are really terrible, right?”

I shrug. “I’m confident in our number.”

Chewing her lip, she studies me for a moment longer before slowly taking the die from my hand. She shakes her head, but tosses the die in her hand a few times before letting it slide across the concrete.