“That is not at all the same, and you know it. You brought me into your home, concealed my whereabouts from everyone, including your family and mine, and returned me to the property you’d purchased just because you cannot imagine me not living here. You give too much.”

Damn. She would not let the matter drop. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Now was not the time for a glib answer to appease her conscience. He could tell her some of what influenced him and see how she might view his ideals. “Women are largely at a disadvantage in our society. It is a circumstance that has disappointed me many times in the past. They are expected to be silent when mistreated and have no grounds to complain or receive compensation for cruel use. It is wrong, Arabella.”

“I don’t understand.” She inched closer to him. “What wrongs have you witnessed?”

“Far too many and too close to home.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He wanted to tell her the truth. To explain why her suffering affected him so strongly and yet still not tell her every secret. He could tell her of his father, though. What that man had done likely still circulated as gossip about his family, so she might have heard the whispers. It would be a small thing to confirm what she possibly knew already. “My father was not one to deny himself life’s pleasures. He never once counted the cost of his actions, and many lives were ruined as a result of his demands.”

Her brow furrowed. Perhaps not all of his father’s misdeeds were widely circulated and in this case had not reached her ears.

“Go on.”

He swallowed the lump that formed at the base of his throat. He’d started down this path, to explain a bit of himself, so by rights he ought to keep to his decision and hope he didn’t shock her completely. “To be blunt, my father sired a number of children outside marriage, most to servants in his employ or in the great houses he visited. My mother knew and the humiliation was more than she could bear. My last memory of them together is my father backhanding my mother for speaking against him and his many disgraces.”

Her skin paled and she shivered. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “’Tis nothing to be done about it now. They are alive in the world and made poorer by his choices.”

“They?”

Merrick smiled grimly, staring out at the slow-moving water. “My half brothers and sisters. I am sorry to say there are rather a lot of them.”

Her gasp struck him like a blow. “Holland?”

Merrick nodded slowly, glancing at her for the signs of shock he expected. When none appeared on her face, he pressed on. “He was the first I grew aware of when I was a young man and suffering through an education I didn’t want at Newberry Park. Holland worked at a tavern I frequented and often he was the one to put me on my horse and send me home when I was too deep in my cups and growing quarrelsome. I liked him very much then. He did not bow and scrape as many men did to those of Newberry. One day I came upon him surrounded and outnumbered, bloody and beaten but still not cowed. I offered my fists and then offered him a better position as my valet. My grandfather and particularly my aunt were furious when I brought Holland home to Newberry and it was only then I discovered exactly who he was to me. My disagreements with the Fords began then.”

“What of Holland’s mother?”

“You know, I’ve never heard Holland speak her name, but she lives, I’m sure of it. I have pieced together what I think happened. She lived in a great house, probably a servant. But she couldn’t keep him with her and had to give him up. It is a situation that has occurred many times over.”

“It is kind of you to employ him as you do.”

“Holland enjoys managing me and ensures our siblings are fed, employed usefully, and have a roof over their heads.”

“How many?”

“A dozen or more. Holland keeps track of them.” He sighed at the folly of revealing this side of his personal life. “Almost every servant in my London home is a relation, every man on the carriage that brought you here also. I take care of them and they take care of me. They will say not one word of this excursion to anyone for fear of Holland’s wrath. My half brother will brook no disobedience from them. He knows their situation is tenuous.”

He continued, knowing revealing so much would likely ruin everything but feeling lighter for the unburdening. He tossed aside the blade of grass he’d been running through his fingers while he talked. “My point is that not everyone has someone to watch out for their welfare and not every debt needs to be repaid immediately. I have had the pleasure of your company, a situation that would never have presented itself at any other time. So you see, without knowing it, you have already held up your side of our tentative friendship.”

“It is very good what you do. Most lords would not do so much.” Arabella plucked a blade of grass and handed it to him to replace the one he’d mangled. “Why do they believe their situation is tenuous?”

“Because it is true. My father sired only one legitimate son, and I have not married as yet to produce the required heir. The next in line is a cousin, a pious prig who would sooner brand them all vile creatures to be cast out onto the street than spend the shillings required to feed even one.”

Her eyes widened. “You would marry just for them?”

“Not just for them. I did have other hopes when I wed.”

A rosy blush spread over her cheeks and her neck too, yet relief filled him. She did not appear too shocked. He’d always intended to be honest with his wife about his half brothers and sisters, so gaining Arabella’s understanding went a long way to proving he’d made the right decision to tell the woman he married too.

“You’re fond on your siblings, despite their origins?”

Merrick supposed she was right. “Family first.”

“That is not at all a bad thing.” She shifted closer, tucking her knees beneath her and giving him all her attention. “Having none I care for now means I’m made more aware of my lack.”

Merrick glanced across the stream to hide the sadness that filled him. It was not easy to ignore that Farnsworth’s actions had revealed just how alone Arabella was in the world. Leaving would be difficult. He lifted his eyes to the horizon with a heavy heart. Storm clouds had gathered to the west of the estate. His brothers were going to get wet on their way home. Yet if he didn’t go now, he feared he might never walk away from her. His hopes for his life would go unfulfilled if he stayed.

He stood and dusted off his trousers, then held his hand out to Arabella. “We’d best be on our way.”

He helped her up and brought her back into the field, holding her arm as they walked over difficult terrain, releasing her when their way was free of impediment. They had not traveled very far when he spotted Holland and his coachman, Jimmy, in the distance, striding toward them in a hurry. “Ah, a family reunion. I wonder what the fuss is about now.”

Arabella chuckled. “Oh, dear. Did they think your virtue in danger?”

“No. I’m very sure they are attempting to protect yours.” He laughed too as his good mood returned. He had been alone with Arabella and had thought very little of getting beneath her skirts. It was not the first time Arabella had lured him to speak his mind rather than contemplate the delights of her body. Despite her troubles and the delicate topic he’d broached, he’d never had a more enjoyable day. If he told Holland that she knew all their secrets now, the man would likely fall over in a faint and never wake.

She stopped suddenly. “Will you dine with me this evening?”

“If I stay that long I’ll have no chance of returning to London as expected.”

“You had other plans for the journey home too, didn’t you? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t delay you.” Her throat moved as she swallowed, proving her disappointment was acute.