A strange smile flittered across Holland’s face. “That is what my mother said to me when I entered your service. She wanted to know where you were so she knew where I would be. Her spying on you is merely a ruse to cover her real motives. She cannot write to me, but I can write to her because anyone would think I’m helping her keep you out of trouble.”

Merrick gaped. It wasn’t him under the microscope, but Holland. Her son. If that were true, then he hadn’t one leg to stand on with his complaints. He sat back in the chair as he reconsidered his decision. The only thing he’d done by dismissing Holland in a fit of temper was upset them both.

Without Holland, he would have to advance another half brother to assist him. He didn’t want to think of the chaos that would accompany that situation. Holland worked without his supervision or instruction most days. Since Merrick had become the earl, he had never once countermanded one of Holland’s decisions when it came to the family and estate. He could easily have been the earl instead of Merrick.

Holland was sensible, thrifty, and fair. The Rothwell estates ran smoothly because Merrick had Holland at his side. He couldn’t afford to lose him over this, and more importantly, he didn’t need to.

He met Holland’s gaze decisively. “We’ll be in London for the rest of the season unless Arabella marries me, and then our plans may change to suit what she wants. Please ask your mother not to push the issue of marriage while Arabella is under her roof. I want her to change her own mind, not have it decided for her.”

His brother sat up, apparently too quickly because his hand rose to his head to hold it. “You’re taking me back?”

Merrick nodded. “If you want to stay, that is.” He stood and swung the chair back into place beside the wall, leaving the room neat, the way Holland liked it. When he glanced around, his brother had risen to his feet, his expression stunned. “Of course I want to stay.”

“The London town house is home, isn’t it? Where else should you be but there?” When Holland said nothing to that, Merrick decided he’d done the right thing. Home wouldn’t be the same without his family about him. His odd scrambled family of misfits that no one wanted. And to prove he harbored no ill feeling, he pulled his brother into a rough hug and held him tight. “No wonder we look so damn similar. Could use each other as bloody shaving mirrors, couldn’t we?”

Holland’s hand touched his head lightly as he tousled his hair. “I’ve thought so too on many occasions.”

Merrick released him, overcome by emotions that threatened to unman him. “Get some sleep. The old sow likes to travel early.” He winced at the insult he’d unthinkingly uttered before Holland.

Holland’s brow rose.

“Forgive me,” he begged quickly. “Old habits are often hard to break. But I will overcome this and behave in the future.”

“Thank you.” Holland nodded. “She’s called the carriage for seven.”

“In the morning? I gather you inherited the curse of rising early from her.” Merrick rolled his eyes as he opened the door to let himself out. “Damn Fords, never let a man sleep till a decent hour.”

“Mother can be a taskmaster about punctuality.” Holland grinned widely. “The Fords never let a man have any peace. It’s not in their nature.”

Holland had just described their entire family, even the illegitimate ones. “Nor ours. Sleep well, brother.”

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

Arabella closed the door behind her softly and turned the key in the lock so no one would disturb her. Across the room, Merrick sat hunched on the side of his bed. She hadn’t heard more than a few words from him all night, and she had been concerned about his disappearance. “I missed you tonight. Where did you go after Gray left?”

Merrick glanced around, unsmiling and serious for a change. “I wasn’t particularly good company, and I wanted to speak with Holland again.”

She approached him and discovered he’d begun undressing for bed, getting only so far as one boot off. “You couldn’t have known.”

He dragged a hand through his hair, looking confused and uncertain when he’d never been that way before. “Well, I know now and believe me, it will take some getting used to.”

Arabella moved closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Did you speak to your aunt about it?”

He shook his head, gaze falling to the floor. “No. I don’t think I ever shall have the courage to do that. In truth, I don’t believe she would confirm or deny the accusation. I’d rather not stir the pot at all if that is all right with you.”

“I think silence in this matter is definitely the right decision.”

She rubbed her hand over his broad shoulders and then curled her fingers around his neck, slipping them beneath his shirt and pressing them against his muscles. He rumbled his approval. The heat of Merrick’s skin soaked through his shirt and brought her pulse to life in the most disconcerting way.

“What will become of your brother? Would you like him to join the staff here?”

“No, but thank you, Arabella. That’s a very kind offer.” He removed her hand from his neck and brought it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles and then held her hand to his face. “He is coming home with me. We’ve spoken and he’s made me consider the matter in a different light. Apparently Aunt Pen likes to keep track of him too.”

“Well, she is his mother.” She relaxed, pleased by his change of heart. “I’m relieved to hear that. Holland was quite upset. I would have hated to have you estranged from him. You make a very good team.”

“I realized that, too.” He leaned into her touch as if he found comfort in her presence. “She’s kept him secret all these years. Not even Rutherford knows, and he usually knows everything. My father. Dear God, there are no words strong enough to describe him properly. He truly was an evil, grasping man. My father likely seduced Aunt Pen for her dowry, but when she wouldn’t agree to the match and went away to deliver Holland in secret, he turned his attention to my mother. Imagine Aunt Pen’s horror on discovering her own sister had married the monster.”

Alarmed by the horror in his voice, she caressed his face and neck with her fingertips. “The stress of keeping Holland’s existence secret would have been unbearable. The disagreement you had when you brought him to Newberry, it must have been fear of discovery, not anger, that provoked it. You do look remarkably similar. If Holland had lingered at there, your grandfather and others might have been found out and the scandal that would have followed could have torn the family in two.”

He covered his face suddenly. “Oh God, Arabella what have I done? The things I have said.”

She held him close as a lump formed in her throat. Merrick had been rather harsh in speaking of Lady Penelope, regardless of being provoked. “You are referring to your manner of speaking to her?”

“I never hesitated to complain to Holland about her meddling.” His hands fell and he gripped the bed beneath him. “He has had to listen to every hateful word I’ve ever spoken about her. She is his mother. Yet he listened and never once complained.”

“I think I can set your mind at ease a little.” She drew his head against her and smoothed his hair with her fingers. “Yesterday when you cursed Lady Penelope, I was surprised at her reaction, or lack of. She smiled. I don’t think you can hurt her, not when Holland is under your roof and you hold him in such high esteem. As I mentioned before, you were under no obligation to provide for him, or for any of your father’s illegitimate children. You are a good man. The very best, as far as I can see.”

Merrick looked up suddenly, staring hard at her face. “God, you’re easy on me. Most women would have run shrieking from the madness of my life.”