“What do you suppose Crispus is saying?” Aurelia whispered.

“That at best, my magic is uncontrollable, and at worst it’s completely useless. They’re having doubts about me, and rightly so.”

Aurelia smiled grimly. “I know you’re trying.”

“Trying isn’t good enough,” I said. “Not for what’s coming. That’s what Crispus is telling his father.”

Valerius put a hand on Crispus’s shoulder, told him one more thing at which Crispus only shrugged, then Valerius turned to me. “Let’s take a short walk. Crispus and Aurelia can rest here.”

I wanted to point out that if anyone deserved a rest, it was me. But maybe that wasn’t fair. Crispus and Aurelia were doing their best to help me produce magic, and running from it whenever I succeeded. They had to be exhausted too.

I walked with Valerius into the main part of his vineyard. The vines were thick with ripening grapes, creating a sweet perfume in the air that I loved to inhale and hold inside until I drew my next breath.

Valerius obviously had more serious matters on his mind. Once we were far from any listening ears, he said, “I’m sorry I was called away this morning. I had hoped to be here to help in your training.”

“I just need more time. It might take years for me to learn this.”

“Nonsense. Crispus tells me you healed that wound in your arm. I can see for myself that it’s even better than I would have thought possible.”

“Healing a wound isn’t the same as fighting with magic! When I try to fight, the bulla does nothing. And when I simply react out of fear or anger, then it does far more than I intend. Either way is dangerous.”

“Doing nothing is equally dangerous. Have you considered that? The Roman Empire is at stake. Either we get the key, or Horatio will hand it over to Radulf. We need your magic. Whether you have too much, or not enough, you are the only chance the empire has.”

If that speech was supposed to make me feel better, it failed in every possible way. Even if I was the only chance, that still didn’t mean I had any chance at all. If today had proved anything, it’s that I wasn’t strong enough to stop Radulf, or save an empire. No, I was the person who, only hours earlier, had toppled a tree on himself.

Valerius sighed. “The reason I was called away this morning was for a Senate meeting, and I’m sure you can guess at the conversation. Senator Horatio is very eager to find you. He’s doubled the reward for anyone who brings you in, and made his intentions for you clear. My spies tell me Horatio wants to announce his loyalties in public, so that all of Rome hears of it. We believe he’ll do it at the games in two days.”

I caught a worried glance from Aurelia and turned away from her and asked, “Two days! No, I need more time!”

“We’ll have to go to the games and stop him there. If you can defeat Radulf on the arena floor, Horatio won’t have the chance to make his announcement.”

“Which would be a wonderful idea, if I could control the magic!”

“You will learn to master it.” The frown on Valerius’s face deepened. “But remember, even if you don’t succeed against Radulf, you must stop Horatio. At any price.”

I stepped back and shook my head. No, my freedom would not come at any price. Even saving Rome would not happen if it meant I had to blur the shades of right and wrong. And it bothered me that Valerius saw things differently.

Either Valerius didn’t notice my objection, or he didn’t care. “I can feel success coming closer,” he said. “Nic, once you do this, you will stand at my side as a hero of Rome.”

“No, sir. Once I do this, I will find my sister and leave Rome. But to do what I must, I need the griffin. I wouldn’t have escaped last time without her, and I need her again now.”

Valerius lowered his eyes. “That’s not possible.”

“I can talk to her. I’ll convince her to come and help me. All I have to do is figure out where she is now.”

“We know where she is.” Valerius hesitated a moment — far too long — before he continued. “She’s taken over the baths near the Appian Way. Nobody will go in there because she’s still dangerous, but they say it doesn’t matter anyway because of the wound in her wing. She can’t fly, and she can’t hunt. Your griffin is dying.”

Valerius took me back to Crispus and Aurelia, insisting I spend the rest of the afternoon practicing. Knowing how little time was left now, I gave it the best I had, but my thoughts were too much on Caela. I had often wondered about her since she last flew away, but in my mind I had always seen her nestled atop a pile of gold or flying over the skies of Rome or swooping in for a hunt. She was a creation of the gods. So I had thought it only natural that she could have healed that wound herself.

“What did Valerius say to you back there?” Aurelia had asked me at least ten times since I’d returned. I had told them my battle with Radulf would happen soon, but nothing about Horatio’s role in it, or about Caela. Aurelia placed a hand on my arm, right where the infected wound had been only hours ago. “You don’t have to fight Radulf. Just run. Leave Rome on your own.”

“I agree,” Crispus said. “My father is persuasive, but he can’t force you to do this.”

“The empire knows what I can do. Do you really think they’ll just let me go? I don’t want to be hunted the rest of my life.”

“At least you’ll be alive!” Aurelia’s face fell. “If you lose —”

“Or if I win.” I shrugged. “Either way, I get Radulf’s voice out of my head.”

Crispus nodded as a smile spread across his face. I wasn’t sure if he was encouraged by my words, or trying to be the one who encouraged me. “If you win, the emperor will reward you with freedom.”

“And your father will find my sister,” I finished. “He promised me that.”

Aurelia clapped her hands together. “Then let’s get back to work. Good things are coming for you, Nic. I can feel that.”

I was glad she could, because once we returned to practice, I still felt nothing except for concern for Caela. Even though we worked into the evening, my progress was barely noticeable. I could get the bulla to warm simply by thinking about the proper emotion, but not enough to produce any magic. And nothing Crispus or Aurelia did or said brought up any actual emotions. Nothing was stronger than my worry for Caela, and no amount of magic would change that.

Unless it could.

As we trekked back to Crispus’s home, I casually asked him where the Appian Way was. He didn’t know about Caela, so the question shouldn’t have aroused any suspicion.

“Why are you asking?” Aurelia wanted to know. Of course she would be the suspicious one.

“Valerius simply mentioned it in passing. I was only curious.”

Crispus pointed out the direction, then, as we continued walking, he said, “Almost three hundred years ago, there was a rebellion by a slave named Spartacus, who had once been a gladiator. At the time, a third of this city was slaves, so the rebellion was obviously a considerable problem. The fighting lasted for two years, and Spartacus had many victories … until he brought his armies to the Appian Way. Rome called in its armies from outside the city and advanced those that were here. Spartacus was trapped. Shortly after his final defeat, six thousand slaves were executed along that road. If you ask me, they got what they deserved.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say!” Aurelia scolded. “And did you even think about who Nic is?”

Crispus stopped and faced me. “I’m sorry. No, I didn’t. I guess I don’t think of you as a slave.”