“I didn’t really get a chance to say goodnight,” he said softly, his lips lowering to mine.

I felt a surge of heat as his soft mouth pressed against mine.  His tongue parted my lips making me gasp.  I wanted to kiss him back, but I knew that I shouldn’t, I just couldn’t.  I pulled away, wrapping my arms protectively.

“We can’t do this Brian,” I whispered with defeat.

His eyes bore into mine, and I could feel my heart aching but my mind was made up.  This could never be, no one would ever understand, and no one could ever know.

When I woke up the next day my mind was clear.  Whatever happened between us was in the past.  We had both been drinking, things got out of control.  Every cell in my body was urging me to avoid Brian at all costs, but I didn’t want things to be any more awkward than they already were.  I took a deep breath and walked out into the kitchen.

“Morning,” I croaked as I walked by Brian and poured myself a cup of coffee.

“Good morning,” he replied gently, flipping the newspaper over as he continued reading.

Brian’s demeanor was calm and nonchalant.  Maybe things didn’t have to be weird after all.  I put the milk away and shuffled past him.

“Oh, hey Sarah,” he called just as I was about to walk back out into the living room.  I felt my heart give a little flutter as I turned back.

“Don’t forget about yoga today. I’m looking forward to it.  It starts at two.”

“Oh yeah,” my heart sank.  “Sure, no problem,” I lied.

It shouldn’t have been a problem, and wouldn’t have been a problem…if last night had never occurred.  I couldn’t deny that what we had done felt good, but I had made a decision and I planned to stick with it.  The thought of spending an hour in such close proximity to him made me overwhelmingly nervous.  My stomach started to feel sick.

“Brian,” I whispered, walking up beside him and leaning in close.  “Can we just go back?  Pretend like nothing ever happened?”

Brian turned towards me.  He looked at me in a way that I had never seen before.  “Pretend like what never happened?” he finally said, returning to his paper.  “See you at two.”

I took a step back and stared down at him for a brief second.  I felt my stomach clench hard, forming a knot deep down in my gut.  This was what I wanted…right?

I spent the rest of the day keeping busy, finding ways not to focus on the one thing that was eating away at my soul.

****

I walked into the yoga studio and looked around for Brian.  He still hadn’t arrived, so I rolled out my mat, sat down cross-legged, and tried to still my mind as I focused on my breathing.  When the instructor finally came, Brian still hadn’t shown up.  I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had decided to cancel--I just wished he would have let me know.  At this point they had already closed the doors and dimmed the lights.  I could only hope Brian would show up at the last minute.

“We’re going start off with Pranayama, a centering meditation," the instructor began.  "I want everyone to sit up tall, hands placed palms up on the knees, bringing together the index finger and thumb in Gyan Mudra. Now take a deep breath, and feel the breath as it flows in and out with each inhalation and exhalation…”

I followed the instructor’s calm, hypnotic voice.  “Let go of your mind.  Let everything melt away with each breath.  Live only in this moment, in this mind, in this body, in this place.”

My body began to lighten and relax with each successive breath.  After meditating this way for several minutes, we were instructed to open our eyes.  I was pleasantly surprised to see Brian tip-toeing across the floor and taking his place beside me.  His eyes begged my forgiveness for being late, which I granted him with a simple nod and delicate smile.

As the next hour passed I was determined to focus only on the moment and on the class.

“Now I want each of you to find a visual connection with your partner.  Let your eyes and souls do the talking as we walk through our next sequence of poses,” the instructor explained.

At first the thought of staring deeply into Brian’s eyes scared me. But his soft smile and gentle gaze chipped away at my fears, and soon I found myself entirely at ease.  Brian truly was an incredible partner.  He was so far advanced in his own practice that he made my curvy body feel perfectly balanced, beautiful and strong.   Our bodies moved as one and I lost myself in the invigorating feeling of flying as he easily carried me through the acro-yoga poses with expert rhythm.

“That was absolutely beautiful,” the teacher commended us.

My lips turned up in a soft smile as I stared into Brian’s dark eyes.  His jaw was so perfectly chiseled, and his lips were full and inviting.  I took a deep breath and let go of every thought, every fear.  This was what I wanted, this gorgeous, kind, talented man that was looking back at me with intense brown eyes.  It was all that I had wanted from the day that I had met him.  Forget convention, forget judgment: this was the man that I was destined to be with from the day I was born.

Halfway through the session the instructor told us to roll onto our backs.  She then dimmed the lights and directed up to stretch our fingers and toes away from each other.  My fingertips brushed across Brian’s, and there in that moment I gave in to my heart's true desire.  I ran my fingertips across his palm and our hands locked together softly, sensually.   My heart raced as I laid there next to him.

Brian’s thumb slowly worked circles into my palm, and my entire body surged with electricity.  I rolled my head to the side and stared into his eyes, both of us silently admitting our deepest, darkest cravings.

“You and your partner will now have to decide who is going to go first for the Thai massage portion of the class.  The one who is receiving the massage first can simply roll onto your stomach as your partner gets set up behind you.”

I smiled, sitting up slowly and crawling behind him.  The instructor guided us through a series of moves, and I felt my passion for him flowing from me and into his body.  Starting with the feet we rubbed slow, deep circles, before eventually moving up the legs and to the thighs.

I gripped him sensually with each touch, wishing we weren’t surrounded by twenty other couples.  The place between my thighs was quickly becoming hot and wet.  My hands massaged him with all the pent up passion I was feeling, and from his breathing I knew he was getting as worked up as I was.

My hands moved up his back, and I traced my nails gently down his bare sides, a nearly silent moan escaping his lips.  The instructor guided us back down to the feet and we wrapped up the massage by putting gentle traction on the legs.

Brian gave me an exasperated grin as I laid down next to him.  Once he finally got up I understood why he was so flustered--through the dim light I could just barely make out his thick erection.  I giggled.

Trading places, he began by working his fingers into my tissue.  As his hands slowly migrated up my thighs, the pulse between my legs grew deep and rapid.  His hands worked rhythmically, slowly rotating the flesh outwards.  Each time his hands contracted I felt my lips part, and a hot deep ache plagued my sex.

His hands slid up higher, and I gasped much too loudly.  Brian tortured me with a slow, deep massage on my gluteus muscles.  His thumbs squeezed hard against my upper thighs, each time brushing softly over my aching pussy.  I pushed my hips up and back, begging for his sustained touch, but he refused to give me what I so needed.  His hands moved up my body and pushed my hips back to the floor.

I was panting by the time the massage came to an end.  Despite the teacher walking us through a meditative relaxation to wrap up the class, I could think of nothing but fulfilling the deep yearning that was still pulsing within me.