I let out a deep cleansing breath, feeling myself float into oblivion as my mind went blank. I didn’t come to yoga to think; but rather, not to think.  Somehow letting go of every fear and every thought was infinitely more productive than meticulously sifting through emotions, fears, and desires.

By the time I walked out of class I just felt…lighter.  It wasn’t that I had come to any epiphany, condemning or accepting my actions and thoughts.  No, it was simply that I had let go of all judgments against myself and against my mother.

As I was approaching the gate to the walkway that led up to the house, I saw Liam come jogging around the corner towards me.  I lifted a hand and smiled as he closed the gap between us.  His body was wet with perspiration and his chest and legs were bare.  I let myself stare as he began slowing down to a walk.

“Hey there,” he grinned.   His hair was wet and his face was glowing with the adrenaline of a good hard run.  “How was yoga?” he asked, nodding towards the mat tucked under my arm.

“Wonderful,” I smiled back. “You really should try it sometime. It does wonders for the soul.”

“Not to mention the body,” he winked playfully, his eyes giving me a once over as he pushed the gate open and held it for me.

I blushed as I walked past him. He was flirting, and I was certain that he was admiring my backside, clad in tight yoga pants, as he followed me up the walkway.  ‘What the heck,’ I thought, putting a touch more sway in my hips than usual; perhaps I wasn’t so opposed to the attention after all.  Besides, it was sort of…fun.

I took a shower and decided it would be a good day to take Liam’s advice and apply to some colleges.  Just as I was headed out the door my phone buzzed.  It was my mother.  I took a deep breath before answering.

“Hey mom,” I said quietly as I stepped outside.  Liam seemed to be doing relatively well, all things considered, and I didn’t want to bring down his mood by revealing the fact that I was on the phone with her.

“Lily, I think we should talk.  I’m headed downtown to Pesto Italiano and want you to meet me for lunch.”

I looked at my watch. It was only eleven; that still gave me plenty of time to get to the library afterwards.

“Alright mom.  I’ll be there in twenty-five minutes.”

When I walked into Pesto’s I saw my mother stand up and wave to me from a table near the back wall.  I started towards her, quickly realizing that she hadn’t come alone.  It was bad enough that I was going to have to make amends for the night before, but now I would have to do it with an audience.

“Lily, I want you to meet Tom!” my mother gushed with excitement as Tom stood up to shake my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Tom,” I said unenthusiastically.  She gave me a disapproving look as she wrapped her arms around me in an embrace.

We all sat down and studied our menus.  Once we had ordered, there was no avoiding conversation, so we ended up awkwardly commenting on the weather and the traffic as if it were truly interesting.

My mother’s lips turned up into a huge smile.  She leaned in over the table, taking Tom’s hand into hers.

“The real reason I invited you here today was that we have really big news!” she chirped with excitement.  I knew what she was going to say before she even said another word. I was completely disgusted to say the least.

“Tom and I,” she lifted the back of her hand to eye-level and exposed the little diamond-encrusted band wrapped tightly around her ring finger, “are getting married!” she exclaimed with pride and excitement.

I swallowed hard, knowing that there was nothing good that could come from letting my frustration get the best of me.  Sure, it would have felt good to tell her exactly what I thought about her little surprise, but I knew I would regret it later.

“Wow mom,” I brought her hand closer to me so I could better study the ring.  “It’s beautiful,” I said with false enthusiasm.

I looked at Tom and smiled, then not-so-politely inquired, “How long has my mother been hiding you?”  Her eyes grew dark as she caught the drift of my sarcasm.  I didn’t care.

“Well let’s see. Penny and I met last August, so…that makes it almost seven months now!” Tom said cheerfully.  Clearly, he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box.

“That is really great,” my lips held in a false smile, “I am so happy for you both.”  I glanced at my watch. “Oh shoot!  I hate to do this to you guys, but I am going to have to cut this thing short.”  I pulled a twenty from my wallet and dropped it on the table.  “Again, really nice to meet you, Tom, and I wish you both the best.”  I wrapped my arms around my mother.  “Love you,” I said dryly as I turned and stalked out of the restaurant.  I knew my mom had her issues, but this was just plain low.

I spent the rest of the day trying to forget the scene at the restaurant.  How my mom had slept in the same bed with Liam for over six months while courting a new man was beyond me.  Every last semblance of respect I’d had for her was beginning to fade, only to be replaced by a ridged indifference.

I was so worked up that I had completely forgotten that Liam had invited me to dinner. I walked into the house at 6:30 only to find Liam dressed to the nines and waiting for me.

“Oh,” I cried, “dinner!”

I ran down the hall, Liam’s face looking puzzled as I muttered obscenities at myself for being such a thoughtless dunce.  I stripped down and pulled on my best little black dress, leggings and heels.  Five minutes later I returned, panting from the rushed effort.

“I’m ready!”

Liam took my arm and led me out into the garage where we climbed into his Jaguar.  I had always loved his car, and by the pristine condition he kept it in, one could tell he did too.

As we drove into the city I knew I wasn’t being my usual chipper self.  I was debating on whether or not I should share the events of my afternoon.

“What’s wrong, Lily?” Liam finally asked.

“Nothing,” I lied, putting a smile on my face.

“We’ve been driving for over fifteen minutes and you’ve hardly even acknowledged my feeble attempts at conversation.”  He looked at me seriously.  “If taking you out in place of your mother tonight is bothering you, I would be happy to take you back home.  It’s really no problem at all.”  His eyes were kind and soft as he spoke.

“It…it’s not that, Liam.  My mother…” I let out a sigh.  “She invited me to lunch this afternoon.  She’s engaged.” I finally choked out.

Liam stiffened in his seat and his eyes narrowed.  “Engaged,” he scoffed.  “I knew she’d been hiding things from me, but I didn't realize that it went that far.”

“Apparently she’s been seeing him for almost seven months, which means she's been dating him almost as long as we’ve been living with you.  It just feels wrong,” I shrugged, embarrassed to admit my mother had treated him so poorly.  “I would understand if you wanted me to move out now.”

Liam reached across the car and put his hand on my knee, squeezing it gently as he pulled the car to the side of the road. He then turned to m and said, “Listen Lily, you are not responsible for your mother’s behavior.  I won’t have you going around feeling guilty for what she has done.  My offer is still on the table, and nothing she has done will change my feelings towards you.  You deserve to be happy Lily, you deserve a chance to live your own life.”

I remained silent, meekly staring down at my hands cradled in my lap.

“Do you understand?” he asked with sternness in his voice.

“Yes,” I nodded timidly.

“Then let’s enjoy the night.  The past is behind us, why drag it out on a perfectly beautiful evening?”  Liam pulled back onto the road and resumed driving, his hand never leaving my knee.

Dinner with Liam helped to put my mind at ease.  He was so easy to talk to, and for the first time since we had met we took the time to really get to know one another on an adult level.