Little by little, she let out her breath.“Same difference. Pain equals tears.”

“It’s not the same, but I’m not here to arguewith you, most especially not when you’re heavily medicated.”

“I’m not heavily medicated. I can still thinkstraight,” she tried to sit up defensively.

Victor rolled his eyes and pushed her backdown. “You’re medicated enough that the physician told me you can’tdrive yourself home.”

Elsa sighed loudly. “Aren’t there rules aboutdivulging personal medical information to people who aren’t myfamily?”

A slow blush crept over Victor’s face. It wassuch a strange thing to see, even in her semi-medicated state, shewas taken aback.

“I told him I was your boyfriend. Anyway, heknows me…” he added with a dismissive wave of his hand as he turnedand walked to the door to look out.

She sat back up and swung her legs off theedge of the bed as she tried to stand. “You’ve really got thiswhole lying thing down to an art, don’t you?”

Victor spun on his heel and gripped her upperarm to steady her. “Who says it’s a lie?” he glared down ather.

Elsa huffed. “I know what you are and whatyou’re not.”

For a long moment, he looked back at her.“And what is that?”

“You’re sure as hell not my boyfriend.”

If only she could say what she was reallythinking. He’s cruel and sadistic. He’s a horrible man for usingall those women as some kind of experiment and pretending he wasdoing them a favor when he was simply getting off on it. He’s anawful person for using her in the same way.

Victor’s glance sharpened and his fingerstightened around her arm. “Just get dressed.”

On the drive back to her apartment, Elsawatched Victor closely. She was beginning to feel guilty for whatshe had said. He had shown up and though the reason wasn’t exactlyclear to her, she was appreciative.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” shewhispered as she rested her hand on his thigh.

He kept his gaze forward and simplynodded.

“Victor?” His eyes darted to the side, but herefused to look at her directly. “I missed you this week.”

Suddenly he veered off the road and onto theshoulder, slamming on the breaks and making her seatbelt lock up.All at once, his mouth was on her and his hands fisted in her hair.His tongue danced around inside her mouth and she sucked at it likea woman who had been deprived the indulgence of a man’s mouth forfar too long. The turbulence of his passion swirled around her andhis kiss drained of her the anger she had been feeling earlier. Hisfierce kiss turned gentle and his fingers glided down her cheek toher chin where he held her firmly in place. Hypnotized by histouch, she tingled under his fingertips.

When he pulled back to stare down at her, sheforgot the man he was in the journal.

“Though I do enjoy your tears, I don’t everwant to see you hurt. Not like you were today. Your physical painis not something that gets me off.”

This man was a conundrum. He had written thathe was a sadist and had accepted it. She searched his eyes for somesign of truth in his statement.

“Just my emotional pain?” she asked.

With his large shoulders heaving as hebreathed, his brows drew together and he shook his head, but lefthis answer unspoken. It was fine because no words were necessary.His expression was easily readable for a change. He didn’t want tocause that kind of pain either. Not intentionally.

Her gaze clouded with tears, but she heldthem at bay as the eye-opening truth hit her. Victor wasn’t asadist in the traditional sense. Even though he may have beenturned on by the pain that he caused, he was simply a man whocraved power in its most primal form – domination. Exerting hispower over another person was what turned him on. He wasn’t forcinghimself on unwilling people: he was seeking consensual partners,like herself; people who craved the same things he did. Didn’t thisintelligent man realize that? But how could he kid himself intobelieving that he was helping those women? Perhaps he needed toconvince himself of that in order to justify his actions. Thenagain, maybe she was the one kidding herself.

Elsa leaned forward and kissed him. God, shehoped she could help him see things her way.

***

Victor hadn’t anticipated the suddendeparture from Cambridge, but he was glad for it. The day had beena shitty one. As he drove Elsa back to her apartment to gatherclothes for the weekend, he tried his best not to recall thehorrible events of the day, but it was pointless. The ugliness keptseeping into his subconscious.

He had been accosted by one of the parents ofVictim #2, the pretty blonde, philosophy major. The father waslashing out at anyone who would listen and Victor just happened tobe the man who caught the brunt of his attack. The accusation thathe wasn’t working hard enough and that he didn’t care about whathad happened stung. He did care. He was trying hard.

He glanced at Elsa who had dozed off andguilt swept over him. He should be in Cambridge not with her. ButElsa needed him, too. She had no one else to rely on. Wasn’t heallowed to have a life outside of work? He wasn’t asking for much,just a few days a week to spend engaging in his favorite pastime –his Chapters.

Parked in front of her apartment, he allowedher to nap while he let himself in to pack a bag for her. He hadn’tgotten to listen in on her activities during the week and as hegrabbed her toothbrush, he wondered what she what it was she keptherself busy with. He ran his thumb over the bristles and looked athimself in the bathroom mirror. He looked tired and a helluva lotolder than thirty-six.

He opened his mouth and peeked inside. Hisgums were cut and sore from the grieving father’s fist, but therewas no outward sign of his assault. The man was lucky no chargeswere pressed against him, but Victor had insisted he simply be letgo. There was no point in making a man who was already suffering,pay for his anger – not when his anger was valid.

Climbing back into the Nissan, he liftedElsa’s skirt to inspect the dressing on her wound. It alreadyneeded to be changed.

Finally at the Grace Streetbrownstone, he parked in the driveway. Carrying Elsa inside, helaid her out on the chaise. It was still early evening andhe called in an order for Italian food to be delivered in twohours’ time. In the meantime he would view the video from theprevious weekend. He walked up the stairs and reached for the keyaround his neck when he remembered he hadn’t brought it along. Hesighed irritably at himself and decided instead to bring in hisluggage from the Nissan, and shower and freshen up from histrip.

Having fallen asleep in only his briefs afterhis shower, he woke to Elsa’s voice.

“Victor, our food is here.”

He opened his eyes to a freshly bathedred-head hovering above him looking and smelling absolutely edible.“I had a shitty week,” he grumbled as he let out a long breath. Hereached up and tucked her hair behind her ear as he stared into hereyes, mentally petitioning her for solace.

“I’m sorry,” she leaned down and kissed thecorner of his mouth, offering him comfort the only way shecould.

“What are you sorry for?”

“That I wasn’t there to make it better and…for the other thing,” she blushed.

He had already forgiven her but he stillliked that she was worried about his reaction. Her fear was apotent thing. He attempted to smile but winced when the sharp painin his mouth reminded him just how horrible his day had reallybeen.

“Well you’re here now,” he tugged her closer.“So make it better.”

“Our food is going to get cold,” she circleda finger around his hairy navel.

“Fuck the food. I just want to forget aboutthe week I had.”

Elsa’s eyes lit up the room. “It would be mypleasure to help you with that.”

She carefully crawled between his legs tryingto avoid contact on her wounds. As she sat back on her haunches andrubbed her palm over his quickly growing dick, Victor was touchedthat despite her obvious pain, she was still willing to please him.This woman really was something else.