Another murder. Scarlett… he was falling forher. He had fallen for her. He was in love. She loved him. Sheunderstood him. He understood her. She rushed the words, wantingthe torment to be over with.

Elsa’s tears gradually diminished and herwords slowed when she read that he wanted to scream from therooftops of his love for Scarlett. Victor had light in his lifethen and it was beautiful to read.

But no one could know of their love.

One more body was found, but it was the firstof the five; the first murder, not the fifth. It had been hiddenbetter than the others, but the murderer was sloppy then andinexperienced.

Her words came out hurried again as she couldfeel the climax to the horrible story building.

Scarlett Greenwood was arrested when not onlythe red fiber is linked to a scarf she purchased, but a partialprint on the tape that was used to bind the first victim’s mouth isidentified as hers.

Elsa realized why the name had seemedfamiliar. She remembered hearing in the news when she was arrested.It was a big deal. She was Virginia’s first convicted female serialkiller. Scarlett, the love of Victor’s life, was a serialkiller.

Elsa kept reading in dumbfounded shock whenhis world fell apart. He denied his affair with her, but there werealways suspicions. His work was scrutinized and second-guessed, andhe was ridiculed for not having seen what was staring him right inthe face. Scarlett had used him to find out about the details ofthe investigation and he was so blinded by love that he gave herexactly what she wanted.

Trying to push Scarlett out of his mind, hefilled his life with night-after-night of meaningless sex. He triednew business ventures and invested in real estate to build up hiswealth to keep his mind busy. He attempted anything and everythingto forget about the biggest mistake of his life, but nothingworked. With his writings becoming darker with each followingpassage, Elsa could see his light diminishing until there wasseemingly none left.

He chastised himself endlessly. He blamedhimself for the last two victim’s deaths. Everyone had consideredhim an intelligent and brilliant man, but why then hadn’t he seenthe lies and deceit in her eyes? He tore himself downtime-after-time, never giving himself an ounce of forgiveness. Hewas a failure like his mother had said all along. It went on and onand Elsa began to sob uncontrollably when she remembered the harshwords she had spoken to him.

The last chapter rocked her to her core.

I am a man who has lived a life of lies. Inot only involuntarily assisted a serial killer, but I am the sonof one. My fucked-up circle of life is complete. Why did I seek himout? I could’ve moved on from Scarlett. I could’ve learned toforgive myself, but now this changes everything. I understood herbecause I am her. The same insanity that runs through her veins,courses through mine. I am black inside, but I now have a newpurpose. To study the human psyche on a deeper, darker level byusing any means I deem necessary, ethical or otherwise. Fuck therules. Fuck love. There is no going back to the man I once was. I am Mr. Black.

There were no more words on the pages, butthe belt struck her raw flesh again with the same ferocity and Elsascreamed until her voice cracked. She curled up into a ball androcked herself until her body and brain went numb.

“Why?” she wailed.

“Because I want you to understand who I am,like Scarlett understood. I want you to see that there is no light,Elsa, only darkness. Do you see now that being with me will onlyhurt you?” his voice trembled.

He spoke her name and not her number. Whenshe looked up, it was Victor looking down at her and there waslight, hidden far, far back behind his beautifully tortured andtear-filled eyes.

“I refuse to believe that,” she gaspedout.

He brought the cow-hide up again and steppedback to allow himself room to wield the ghastly tool of torture.Elsa straightened up, her body now shaking uncontrollably from thepain and adrenaline surging through her veins, but she pushed herchin out to accept his will.

“Do it, Victor. Do it if it makes you feelbetter. Keep lying to yourself about who you think you are and doit.”

Victor winced. “Stop fucking calling methat!” The belt fell to the floor with a thud and he fisted hishair as he fell to his knees. “Why are you so God damned stubborn?”he whispered as he pulled her close.

His voice was foreign, sad and tormented, butwhen he touched her skin, the searing pain overwhelmed her and shelet out a blood-curdling scream. She wanted to stay lucid and tohold him, but the burning heat traveled from her spine to herbrain, and dizziness overcame her. Spots suddenly filled her visionand then, darkness.

22: Resilience

Heat... Unbelievable hotness and pain,scorching, searing, agonizing pain… Green sparkling eyes, softlips, large hands caressing her face… whispered words… I’m wrongfor you, Peach.

It was all a haze. Or was it a nightmare?

Elsa woke in a sweat, crying. She was in themaster suite, alone and lying on her stomach. The soothing andsomber sounds of Oblivion by Bastille were playing on hercell phone that lay next to her. Cool, wet washcloths were drapedacross her back and a ceiling fan above her was set to high, butthe pain was still present. When she tried to sit up, a wave ofnausea crashed against her body like waves against the ocean floor.She stilled her body until it passed.

She had never felt such an intense ache andshe didn’t know how to cope with it except to try and pretend likeit wasn’t there. She inhaled slowly through her nose and blew itout her mouth. There was no pretending. The pain was there andlingering like an unwanted lover.

Wobbling to the bathroom, she peeled the damplinen from her back and dry heaved from the flash of heat thattraveled down the back of her legs. Her back was glistening withsalve, but the sight of the raised and welted lashings across herpale skin was so shocking, her brain immediately shut down andrefused to accept what it was seeing. How could Victor have donethis to her?

She kneeled in front of the toilet and dryheaved and when she did, she grunted loudly. The movement fromarching her back nearly sent her into the darkness again. Shegripped the sides of the toilet seat and slowed her breathing asshe tried to envision a young and hopeful Victor in love. It madeno difference to her who the woman was, just that he had loved.

It took her nearly fifteen minutes to findthe nerve to stand, but she did. Descending the stairs gingerly,she found a note on the table.

We’re finished. Gather all of your things. You’re free to leave.

Elsa sank into the chair and hid her face inher hands. It couldn’t be over. Not after what he had done to her.She accepted his punishment and now he was just going to dismissher? Hadn’t she done everything he had asked of her? Hadn’t sheplayed his game by his rules?

She glanced out the window to see the sunstill up and looked at the clock on the far back wall of thekitchen. It wasn’t even 2:00 p.m. yet and it felt like an entireday had passed.

Moving slowly throughout the house, shepacked the few items she had brought into the same box that hadbeen hidden on a top shelf in the bedroom closet. As physicallypainful as it was, she dressed and waited. She had to see Victorone last time to plead her case before she allowed him to send heraway.

Nearly two hours passed when she heard theclick of the lock and felt the warm, damp air rush in along withthe scent of cigarette and bergamot. Her body ached for Victor’sgentle touch and she dreamed of being crushed in his embrace. Shekept her eyes forward and her hands in her lap, waiting until heshowed himself in front of her.