“I’m so damn glad you picked me!” he whispered.

I could feel that he was trembling, so I held him and whispered, “Me, too.” Then he was kissing me with a need that burned so hot that I couldn’t think about what I’d meant to say. All I could think about was his touch and how much I loved him.

It was later, after the sun had risen and Stark slept soundly beside me, his arm draped across my body, his side pressed intimately against me, that my mind started to work again, and I knew I had to talk to Aurox. 

Zoey

It wasn’t hard to slide Stark’s arm off me and sneak out of bed. Stark was totally passed out. I didn’t think an exploding bomb would wake him up. Still, I meditated on how sparkly my new phone cover was as I got dressed and tiptoed from the room.

A bomb might not wake Stark up, but my emotions going crazy probably would.

Thankfully, no one was around. Even though it was midmorning the sky was the color of a bruise and it smelled like spring thunderstorms. On the way to the field house I noticed the wisteria planted along parts of the school wall was budding up with big purple bunches of blossoms. Then I sneezed. Yep, thunderstorms, flowers, and allergies. Spring had to be coming to Oklahoma.

I went into the field house through the stables and paused in the hall between buildings, breathing deeply of horse and hay and trying to keep my emotions calm.

I’m just going to be honest. It’ll hurt his feelings more if I stretch this out and avoid him. Heath would understand.

I snorted a laugh at myself. No, Heath would not understand. Heath would tell me, “We belong together, babe!” and ignore the fact that I was breaking up with him. Again.

Kalona was standing by himself in the hallway outside the entrance to the basement.

“Zoey, you’re up late,” he said as he fisted his hand over his heart and gave me a little bow.

I hadn’t seen him since he’d cut Dallas’s head off and flown away with two fledglings struggling under his arms. He didn’t look any different. I suppose I shouldn’t expect him to. Still, I couldn’t help being morbidly curious. “Hi,” I said. “So, how’d things go with the two fledglings?”

“As they were meant to go.”

“Are they, you know, dead?”

Kalona shrugged, causing his massive wings to rustle. “I left them in the middle of the Tall Grass Prairie. With the storms covering the sun they might last the day, but they certainly will not last another.”

“Are you going to take care of their bodies?”

He shook his head. “Coyotes will do that job for me.”

“That’s really cold,” I said.

“Justice often seems cold. That is not a trait Thanatos and I originated. Judging, condemning, and carrying out justice is not pleasant. Is it not this country whose symbol for justice is a blind maiden holding scales of judgment?”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s because she’s cold. I think that’s because justice shouldn’t be based on the way a person looks or who he or she is—it should be based on the facts.”

“I do not understand the distinction you are making.”

“Nevermind.” I gave up. “I’m looking for Aurox. Have you seen him?”

“It was his turn to patrol the school perimeter. If you go out the front entrance to the field house, he should be circling back around shortly.”

“Okay, great. Uh, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention to anyone that I was looking for—”

Kalona held up a hand, cutting me off. “I will not tell tales to your Warrior.”

I thought about correcting him and saying that wasn’t it at all, that I just didn’t want fledglings to be gossiping about Aurox and me, but my mouth wouldn’t form the lie, so I sighed and said, “Yeah, thanks.” And then I scurried away.

No one was out in the front side of the school, either, and I found a bench not far from the field house door. While I sat and waited for Aurox, I watched the thunderclouds get closer and thought about what Kalona had said.

Maybe he was right. Judging others wasn’t pleasant. There was a time when I would have also thought judging others was wrong, but I’d agreed with Thanatos in her condemnation. I suppose I even agreed with her penalty. So, did that make me a hypocrite when, afterward, I felt all squeamish and disgusted? Or did that make me humane? Or did it make me too damn dense to ever be a decent High Priestess?

“Zoey? Is everything okay?”

I hadn’t heard Aurox approach, so it was a shock to look from the thunderclouds to his moonbeam eyes. I blinked and shook myself, trying to refocus and at least do this one thing right.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just needed to talk to you. Is now a good time?”

“Of course.” He gestured toward the bench beside me and nodded, “Oh, yeah, go ahead and sit down.”

He sat and I tried not to fidget or pick at my fingernail polish.

“It looks like it’s going to rain,” I said. “And I think I just heard thunder off in the distance.”

“The scent of lightning is in the air,” he agreed.

I relaxed a little. That was definitely not something Heath would have said. “I never thought about lightning smelling like anything, but you’re probably right. Thunder and lightning go together.”

“Zo, what’s up?”

My eyes went to his. Yep. Heath was definitely in there. “I can’t drink your blood again.”

“But you want to,” he said.

“Aurox, no one gets everything they want.”

“But this isn’t everything, it’s just a small part of everything.”

“If I really drank your blood, we’d make love. We’d probably Imprint. That wouldn’t be a small thing to me or you or Stark.”

“It’s Stark, then. He’s the reason why you won’t be with me,” Aurox said.

“No. It’s me. I can’t be with two guys at the same time.”

“And you will not choose me over Stark because I am not Heath.”

“I won’t choose you over Stark because I’m already committed to Stark,” I said firmly.

“It’s because I’m not good enough for you—because of how I was made—what I can be.”

I put my hand over his. “No, Aurox. Please don’t think that. You’re not to blame for any of that, and I don’t think about that when I’m with you.”

“What do you think about?”

I smiled, even though I felt sad, and continued to tell him the truth. “I think about how glad I am that you’re here. I also think you and Heath make a really good team.”

“You know we love you,” he said.

“I know.” I spoke softly, and pulled my hand from his. “I’m sorry.”

“Where do we go from here?”

“I want to be friends,” I said.

“Friends.” The word sounded so flat when he repeated it.

“Yeah, and Stark’s not going to act crazy around you anymore,” I said.

“Zo, that’s because he doesn’t have any reason to.” Aurox leaned over, kissed my cheek, and then sounding completely defeated, said, “Would you let Kalona know I am going to check the perimeter again?”

“Yeah, sure…” I said to his back as he sprinted away toward the school’s stone wall.

I stood, feeling heavy and super, super tired. Well I told him the truth, but it definitely sucked. Trying not to think about anything but sleep, because the last thing I needed was for Stark to be awake and asking where I’d been and what had made me feel so crappy. I retraced my way into the field house and down the hallway that led to the entrance of the basement. Kalona wasn’t standing there. I sighed and stuck my head into the field house. He wasn’t there, either. Guessing that he was in the basement doing a quick check on the sleeping kids, I padded back toward the stairway.

“Yes, I’ve been watching Zoey like I said I would.”

At first when I heard my name I stopped because I was surprised. The voice drifted from the stable area, coming from the half-opened door that separated the hallway between the field house and the barn.