I controlled it once before. I did not attack Zoey. But would he even get an opportunity to try to explain that he meant no harm? Even have an instant to test his self-control and to prove he was more than the beast within him? Aurox resumed his pacing. No, his intent would not matter to anyone at the House of Night. All they would see would be the beast.
Even Zoey? Would even Zoey be against him?
“Zoey shielded you from the Warriors. It was because of her protection that you were able to flee.” Grandma Redbird’s voice soothed his turbulent thoughts. Zoey had shielded him. She’d believed that he could control the beast enough not to harm her. Her grandmother had offered him sanctuary. Zoey could not want him dead.
The others would, though.
Aurox didn’t blame them. He deserved death. Regardless of the fact that he had, recently, begun to feel, to long for a different life, a different choice, it did not change the past. He had committed violent, vile acts. He had done anything Priestess had commanded.
Neferet …
Even silent, an unspoken word in his mind, the name sent a shudder through his agitated body.
The beast within him wanted to go to Priestess. The beast within him needed to serve her.
“I am more than a beast.” The earth around him absorbed the words, muffling Aurox’s humanity. In despair, he grabbed a twisted root and began to pull himself up and out of the dirt pit.
“That needs to be fixed.”
The words drifted down to Aurox. His body froze. He recognized the voice—Rephaim. Grandma had told him the truth. The boy lived.
Aurox’s invisible load lifted slightly.
That was one death that did not need to be on his conscience.
Aurox crouched, silently straining to hear to whom Rephaim spoke. He didn’t feel anger or violence. Surely if Rephaim had any idea whatsoever that Aurox was hidden so close, the boy would be filled with feelings of vengeance, would he not?
Time seemed to pass slowly. The wind increased. Aurox could hear it whipping through the dry leaves of the broken tree above him. He caught words that floated with the cool air: work … tree … Red One healed … All in Rephaim’s voice, absent of malice, as if he just mused aloud. And then the breeze brought him the boy’s prayer: “Goddess, I know you have forgiven me for my past, and for that I will always be grateful. But, could you, perhaps, teach me how to truly forgive myself?” Aurox hardly breathed.
Rephaim was asking for his goddess’s help to forgive himself? Why?
Aurox rubbed his throbbing head and thought hard. Priestess had rarely spoken to him, except to command him to execute an act of violence. But she had spoken around him, as if Aurox had not had the ability to hear her or to formulate thoughts of his own. What did he know about Rephaim? He was the immortal Kalona’s son. He was cursed to be a boy by night, a raven by day.
Cursed?
He had just heard Rephaim praying, and in that prayer he had acknowledged Nyx’s forgiveness. Surely a goddess would not curse and forgive with the same breath.
Then with a little start of surprise, Aurox remembered the raven that had mocked him and made such a noise that it had caused Aurox to fall into this pit.
Could that have been Rephaim? Aurox’s body tensed as he readied himself for the seemingly inevitable confrontation to come.
“I give my word. I will return soon,” Rephaim’s voice drifted down to Aurox. The boy was leaving, though temporarily. Aurox relaxed against the earthen wall. His body ached and his mind whirred.
That he could not stay in the pit was obvious, but that was all that was obvious to Aurox.
Had Rephaim’s goddess, the one who had forgiven him, also led him to Aurox’s pit? If so, was it to show Aurox redemption or revenge?
Should he turn himself in, perhaps to Zoey, and take whatever consequences were meted out?
What if the beast emerged again, and this time he could not control it at all?
Should he flee?
Should he go to Priestess and demand answers?
“I know nothing,” he whispered to himself. “I know nothing.”
Aurox bowed his head under the weight of his confusion and longing. Tentatively, silently, he mimicked Rephaim with his own prayer. It was simple. It was sincere. And it was the first time in his life Aurox had ever prayed.
Nyx, if you are, indeed, a forgiving goddess, please help me … please …
CHAPTER NINE
Zoey
“Neferet must be stopped,” Thanatos said with no preamble.
“Sounds like good news to me. Finally,” Aphrodite said. “So is the entire High Council showing up here to call bullshit on her stupid press conference, or is Duantia coming by herself?”
“I can’t wait till the humans hear the real deal about her,” Stevie Rae spoke after Aphrodite, sounding as pissed as Aphrodite and not giving Thanatos a chance to reply. “I’m dang tired of Neferet smiling and batting her eyes and making everyone believe she’s all sugar and spice and everything nice.”
“Neferet does much more than bat her eyes and smile,” Thanatos said grimly. “She uses her Goddess-given gifts to manipulate and harm. Vampyres are subject to her spell—humans have little defense against her.”
“Which means the Vampyre High Council has to stand up and do something about her,” I said.
“I wish it were that simple,” Thanatos said.
My stomach clenched. I had one of my feelings, and that was almost never good.
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t it be that simple?” I asked.
“The High Council will not mingle humans in vampyre affairs,” she said.
“But Neferet’s already done that,” I said.
“Yeah, talk about closin’ the barn door after the cows have already gone out,” Stevie Rae said.
“The bitch killed Zoey’s mom.” Aphrodite was shaking her head as if in disbelief. “Are you saying that the High Council is just going to ignore that and let her get away with murder and talk shit about all of us?”
“And what would you have the High Council do? Expose Neferet as a killer?”
“Yes,” I spoke up, glad I sounded tough and mature instead of scared and about twelve, which was really how this whole thing was making me feel. “I know she’s immortal and powerful, but she killed my mom.”
“We have no proof of that,” Thanatos said quietly.
“Bullshit!” Aphrodite exploded. “We all saw it!”
“In a reveal ritual set in motion by a death spell. Neither can be repeated. The land has been washed clean of that act of violence by all five elements.”
“She took Darkness as her Consort,” Aphrodite argued. “She’s not just in league with evil, she’s probably doing the nasty with it!”
“Eeew,” Stevie Rae and I said together.
“Humans would never believe any of it, even if they had been there.” We all turned to look at Shaylin, who until then had been standing silently and watching the four of us with what I’d thought was a kinda glazed, shocky expression. But her voice was steady. Sure, she looked nervous, but her chin was lifted again and she had what I was coming to recognize as her stubborn face on.
“What the hell do you know about it and why are you speaking?” Aphrodite snapped at her.
“This time last month I was a human. Humans don’t trust vampyre magick.” Shaylin faced Aphrodite without flinching. “You’ve been around all this magick too long. You have totally lost perspective.”
“And you have totally lost your mind,” Aphrodite snarled, puffing up like a blowfish.
“Squabbling children again.” Thanatos didn’t raise her voice, but her words cut through the almost-girl-fight tension between Aphrodite and Shaylin.
“They don’t want to fight,” I spoke into the sudden silence. “None of us do. But we’re all frustrated and we expected you and the High Council to do something, anything, to help us against Neferet.”