I glance at Ryan, surprised by his tone. “What’s your deal?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s something.”

“He’s jealous,” Trent says.

Ryan shakes his head in disgust. “Dammit, man.”

“What are you jealous of?” I ask, completely confused.

“He’s jealous of Vin.”

“Trent, seriously, shut up,” Ryan barks.

I frown at him. “Why are you so angry?”

“I’m not angry.”

“He’s jealous,” Trent repeats.

I touch Trent’s arm, hoping he’ll get the hint to shut his mouth for two seconds. “Why are you jealous of Vin?”

“I’m not.”

“He—”

I slap Trent’s arm hard. He finally gets the hint.

“I’m not jealous, all right?” Ryan tells me. “Or maybe I kind of am. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

“He was obviously happy to see you.”

“Because I brought help.”

“That’s not why he was happy to see you. And there’s all that Benjamin talk and the way he looks at you.”

“He’s a pimp. It’s what he does.”

“I want him to stop.”

“He never will.”

“Then I’ll never like this guy.”

“You and nearly everyone else left alive. He’s not very likeable.”

“You like him,” Trent points out.

I close my eyes, wishing I could slap him again. “I do, yeah.”

“Why?” Ryan asks.

“Because he’s my friend,” I say weakly, feeling small talking about this. I’m exposing a chink in my armor. They already know I care about them; now there’s this Vin crap on top of it. If they find out I’m stressing over the welfare of a room full of cannibals they’ll probably take me out back and shoot me in the head because this pony has gone lame.

“A friend who’s going to screw us,” Trent points out.

“Maybe.”

“And you still like him?” Ryan asks, amazed and annoyed.

I shrug, feeling uncomfortable. “It’s hard to explain.”

“If you have to choose sides, him or—”

“You,” I say firmly, looking him dead in the eye. “I will choose you. No question.”

Ryan grins slightly, almost grudgingly. “That’s not what I was going to ask.”

“Oh. What were you going to ask?”

“Him or the cannibals?”

“You. Still you. Whatever side you’re on, that’s where I am.”

“Even if I side against him?”

I chuckle. “I assume you will. Look, I’m not good at reading people or dealing with people. I also don’t have that selfless thing going that you do, so you’re my moral compass. I’ll follow you wherever you tell me to go.”

Ryan raises his eyebrows in surprise. “That’s a lot of faith.”

“I was ready to put my faith in Vin once. Compared to that, you’re a lock. Besides, Trent is stupid smart and he’d follow you to the ends of the earth, so it seems like a safe bet.”

“Unless you go to Canada,” Trent inserts.

Ryan balks. “Why would I go to Canada?”

“My point exactly. It’s cold. I don’t like cold.”

“We should go down to California.”

I shake my head. “Droughts. Fires.”

“Oregon?”

“How is that different from here?”

“Idaho?”

“That’s a worse idea than Canada.”

“You’re determined to hate everywhere, aren’t you?”

“Why does it matter? Are we going somewhere?”

“I don’t know, are we?”

I look at him skeptically. “Are we?”

“Are we?” Trent asks.

“Maybe,” Ryan answers softly.

My stomach churns as my gut tightens. I don’t know what this means for him or for me or for Trent. Is he seriously thinking about leaving here? We don’t know what the world outside of Seattle is like. It could be better, but it could definitely be worse. There could be more compounds like the Colonies, there could be bigger and badder gangs. There could be more zombies than we’ve seen in years or there could be wide open spaces, empty and thriving with life—real life, that doesn’t moan or groan.

It also makes me wonder why we’re doing all this. If he wants to leave, why don’t we just leave? Cut and run. This thing is in motion but there are plenty of bodies ready and willing to carry it out to the end. It doesn’t have be us. They need me to bridge this gap right now, but after that I’m useless. The cannibals have all hinted at that fact. We could leave tonight and never look back. Never remember.

But I know it’s a lie. I know I would always wonder. I would wonder the way the ring still resting on my finger felt heavier the longer I was away. I worried for Vin and the rest of the people in this building every second of every day, and no matter how hard I tried to distance myself from them, I never really left. A part of me was still with them here in this building, trapped and burning to be set free.

“No matter what we do or where we go,” I tell them softly, “we see this through to the end.”

Ryan nods. “Of course.”

I look up at Trent to find him staring out the door and down the hall. I can’t tell what he’s looking at. The long hall is dark and filled with Colonists milling around, waiting for whatever is going to happen to hurry up and happen. Nothing looks unusual to me at all. Whatever has his attention, though, it has it strong. I don’t think he’s blinking.

“Trent?”

“I’ll play follow the leader until it’s done,” he replies, his voice dead.

I frown at Ryan, confused, but if I’m looking for answers I’m looking in the wrong place: his face is a mirror of mine. I’m about to ask Trent what he’s looking at when Vin appears at the end of the hall. People say hello to him as he passes, and generally bask in the glory that is Vin. Women smile, men step aside, and I can immediately see why they fell in line behind him so easily: he has it. It’s the same thing that I don’t have. Never have and never will. The same thing that Ryan has that Trent doesn’t—charisma.

“Thanks for waiting,” he tells us as he comes inside and closes the door solidly behind him.

“What else were we going to do?”

He grins. “I’m glad you’re back, Kitten. I’ve missed that.”

“Missed what?”

“Your bluntness.”

“What happened to the Leaders?”

“See, there it is. Right down to business.”

“What happened to them?” I repeat.

“What do you think happened to them?”

“They’re dead,” Ryan guesses.

I shake my head. “No, they’re not dead. They’re in prison.”

“Why would you think he’d spare them?”

“Because it’s what I would have done. They’re a liability but they’re valuable, but the big question is what are you going to do with them?”

“It’s already happening,” Vin confirms. “We’ve been using them to keep up communications with the other Colonies. We rotate them. Put each of them on the radio at different times to keep up appearances that everything here is business as usual.”

“How long do you think you can keep that up?”

“Not much longer,” he admits, taking a seat. “We’ve been buying time, that’s all. It’s not a permanent solution by any means.”

“What’s your plan then?”

“You.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Me?”

“You were always the plan. Well, except for when I was the plan. You’re what we’ve been stalling for. We’ve been waiting for you to come back with reinforcements. You were supposed to come back with The Hive, but I guess you had other plans.”

“You mean Marlow had other plans,” I say sharply, bristling at the implication that I didn’t do my job. “We went to him. I stood in the center of his filthy lair and I told him everything. I even showed him your ring, and do you know what I got in return?”

“A ride up a brown creek without a paddle?” Vin asks knowingly.

“Winner, winner.”

“I’d like it back, by the way.”

“What? The boat?”

“Hope you can swim,” Ryan mutters.

“No, not the boat,” Vin says impatiently. “The ring.”

I slide it off my finger and toss it to him. He catches it easily. When he slips it on his own finger, I swear I see him relax. As for me, my hand feels oddly empty without it.

“So you brought me savages in place of soldiers?” he asks.