The offer moved me. “Sure.”

He unlocked the door and we walked inside.

I wasn’t sure what to expect before I walked in. I guess I expected it to be dark and messy. There would be condoms everywhere and Playboy magazines. But it was nothing like that.

Brown leather couches sat in the living room. A red rug was on the floor and a cherry wood table was in the center. Pictures of his family decorated the counter. And there was a painting on the wall.

It was a young boy and girl walking hand in hand. They were on the beach, their backs to the viewer. The boy was taller and older. He carried a toy bucket and shovel. The girl wore a sundress with a hat. I recognized the brushstroke immediately. “Livia?”

He nodded. “She painted that for me.”

My heart melted just from looking at it.

“We used to be close when we were little. Actually, we’re closer now. Whenever our parents would fight, I would take her to the beach so she wouldn’t have to listen to them yell. I always thought I was being discreet about it, but she figured it out…at least I think that’s what this painting means.”

I couldn’t stop looking at it. “It’s beautiful.”

“My sister is very talented.”

I turned to him. “You’re very fond of her.”

He shrugged. “I love her. Sometimes.”

I smirked at him. “You love her. All the time.”

“You caught me.” He patted the sofa. “Sit down and I’ll get that hot cocoa for you.”

“Thanks.”

He disappeared into the kitchen then reappeared with a steaming mug. “I hope you like marshmallows.”

“I never have hot chocolate without them.” I took a sip. “It’s good.”

“I used real cocoa. Well, my mom used real cocoa. I just copy her. I always assumed I would make them for my kids so I stole her recipe.”

“Kids? You want to have kids?”

He suddenly looked uncomfortable. “I just meant if I did…”

That’s not what he said but I wouldn’t push him on it.

He stared at me from his side of the couch.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“You keep staring at me.”

“What else should I stare at?”

I guess I was used to Jace staring at the TV. I didn’t answer him and I kept drinking my warm beverage.

“Just in case you didn’t know, you did really well tonight. You sold your first photo for fifteen hundred, and The Purple Meadow sold for three thousand.”

I almost dropped the mug. “People actually paid that much money?”

He nodded. “Why wouldn’t they? You’re very good at what you do.”

“Wow…I could pay rent for the rest of the year with that.”

He laughed. “Maybe you should treat yourself instead. Buy a new dress or something.”

“No, I need a new lens for my camera. My old one is pretty scratched up.”

“I’m sure that stuff can be expensive.”

“It is. But I’m sure your medical stuff is too.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

I crossed my legs and held the mug in my hands. “Why did you decide to go to medical school?”

“Well, my father is a surgeon. He had tremendous influence when it came to my life ambitions.”

“And that’s the only reason?”

“No. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to have a respectable title. I wanted to make my dad proud.”

“But you don’t want to help people?” How could he leave that out?

“That wasn’t a driving factor until recently.”

He really did tell the truth, bluntly and with no regrets. I used to think he was a jerk but at least I always knew what he was thinking. Jace would say one thing then do the exact opposite. It made me wonder if he was lying.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“A lot, actually. Thank you.”

“I’m glad I could help. I can’t say I’ve ever felt the way you do, but I have felt excruciating, heartbreaking pain. We have that in common.”

What pain did he refer to? “May I ask what?”

He ran his fingers through his hair before he returned his hand to his lap. “It involves someone else’s secret, so unfortunately, I can’t share it with you.”

Someone else’s secret? What are the odds that I know them? “Is it someone I know?”

He nodded but didn’t speak.

The only mutual friend we had in common was his sister. “Livia?”

“Yeah.” His voice was weak.

I wondered what happened… I wasn’t going to pry into her business, but I was concerned. “I hope everything worked out okay.”

His eyes darkened. “She’s better now. But I’ll never be better.” His eyes moved away from mine and looked out the window.

The despair in his voice broke my heart. I’d never seen him so dark and desolate. “I’m here if you need anything.”

He turned back to me. “Thanks…”

Silence stretched between us. I sipped my mug and felt the marshmallows melt in my mouth. It was much better than the cheap packaged kind. I might have to steal the recipe from him, but not so I could make it for my kids, just so I could make it for myself. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything, Alaska.” His voice was quiet.

“Why do you have so many one-night stands?”

He averted his gaze again. I wasn’t sure if it was out of shame or because he just didn’t want to look at me. “I don’t want intimacy and I don’t want to be close to anyone. I just want to release my frustration and drive.”

“Why?”

He still wouldn’t look at me. “When you’re close to someone, they can hurt you.”

That was not a response I expected. I assumed he would say something gross, like he was trying to bed as many girls as possible until he settled down for marriage. “Has someone hurt you before?” I couldn’t picture him in a relationship.

“Not in the way you’re thinking. But someone very close to me was…hurt. And I couldn’t bare it if something happened to my wife or child. It’s just easier this way…”

I didn’t know what to say… Whatever happened to his sister really shook him up. Every time I saw her, she was happy and beaming. She was full of life and joy. It was hard to imagine her ever going through a dark time. But whatever happened was something Ash never forgot about. It was clear he wasn’t the asshole he always projected, and the depth of his pool was so deep I couldn’t see the bottom. “You’re nothing like I first thought.”

He kept staring at the window. It was like he hadn’t heard me.

I grabbed his hand with mine and caressed his knuckles. The skin was burning hot and soft. His fingertips were dry, probably from constantly washing them. I left my mug on the coffee table and scooted closer to him. Then I rested my head on his shoulder.

His head leaned against mine and he played with my fingers. Neither one of us spoke, just staring out the window together. Sitting close to him made me feel unnaturally comfortable. I inhaled his scent and listened to his steady breathing. Before I could control myself, my eyes became heavy and closed. And I fell asleep.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Ash

I downed my second beer while I watched the game on the screen. The Padres were playing the Giants but it was a boring game. It was nine to zero and the Giants were winning. I wasn’t even sure why I was watching it.

Sage rested his arm over the back of the booth while he looked at me. “Everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” I sighed and leaned back.

“You seem…down.”

“I’m fine.” I clenched my jaw in irritation.

“Alright. I’ll back off.” He glanced around the bar, taking in the talent.

I wasn’t sure why I was in such a bad mood. Alaska slept at my place a few nights ago. Her head rested on my shoulder and she breathed quietly beside me. I sat still and listened to her, feeling her chest rise and fall. Her fingers eventually loosened around mine and she hooked her arm around my waist, snuggling with me like a teddy bear.

My heart surged into overdrive for hours. Then I couldn’t keep my eyes open for a minute longer. I lay my head on hers and fell asleep.