The act climaxes with a heart-stopping shoulder stand. Khris calls Fatima from her pedestal into the center of the ring. Standing slightly hunched over the full-sized tabby and holding a piece of raw horsemeat in each of his hands, Khris shouts, “Up, Fatima! Up!” and braces himself for the tiger’s four-hundred-twenty-five pounds as she plops her front paws on his narrow shoulders just inches from his face.

“In truth, it’s a bit overwhelming to have this thing in your face. I’m five feet six; she’s probably close to seven and a half feet. Her breath smells like a dog’s. I give her meat from the right hand, then the left. Then what I’ll do is put my hands on her paws and she gives me a kiss.”

“A kiss?” I said. “What does that entail?”

“A kiss is a kiss. She puts her lips on mine, though tigers don’t actually have lips.”

“So what does she think she’s doing?” I said.

“I have no idea. She just did it one day, and I thought, ‘This is pretty cool, I’ll do it again.’”

“Do you actually go so far as to pucker up?”

“Yes. It feels like I’m kissing a mustache. Her mouth is bigger than mine, and sometimes she’ll lift her lip and slip me some tongue.”

“Some tongue?” I said, thankful for not having to ask that question.

“Some tongue,” he repeated with a wink of his eye.

At this point in the routine Khris sends Fatima back to her cage. Tobruk, Barisal, Simba, and Zeus are already in their home cages. Khris is nearing the finale of the act. He warms to the audience. He seems, for the first time, to be enjoying himself.

“There are two types of people in the world,” he said, “those who don’t mind stepping into the ring with nine tigers and those who do. I’m an Aries. I don’t mind taking risks. I recently read that Aries men are casual types who like to feel comfortable and secure at home, but like competition in the rest of their lives. That’s me. When I’m gone and through with the act, not very many people will remember Khris Allen as a cat trainer or cat performer, but I see myself as playing a little part in history. I’ve always been like that. On my volleyball team in college, on my baseball team in high school, I always wanted to be the one who made the play. Here I’m making the play every day.”

Khris ends his act with a jumping display—no fire, no hoops, just the cats on their own. He calls down two tigers from their pedestals and has them stand side by side in the middle of the ring. Next he beckons Orissa, the fierce snow white, who slowly cases the two upright tigers, then on command from Khris boldly leapfrogs over their backs, back and forth in near slow motion, to the applause of the audience, the cymbal crash of the drummer, and the eventual reward of a piece of horsemeat, personally delivered by the trainer himself at the end of an aluminum ski pole. The act is nearly over. Orissa is sent home. As the remaining cats follow, Khris climbs on the back of Tito, his anchor cat, and rides his majestic shoulders to the mouth of the cage line.

“Ladies and gentlemen…,” Jimmy James calls, “from Atlanta, Georgia,…American zoologist Khris Alllllen.”

Khris skips to the middle of the ring and accepts the applause with a quick bow and a wave. Some people, he knows, are delighted with his performance, others are probably disappointed, a few maybe even upset.

“Let’s face it, forty-five percent of the people are saying, ‘Oh my God, look how beautiful those cats are,’ another forty-five percent are saying, ‘I wish he had gotten his ass chewed up.’ The other ten percent are probably saying, ‘Oh, those poor cats.’ I try to focus on the positive. Sometimes there will be a very enthusiastic person who really enjoyed the show. When I leave, I’ll walk up to that person and shake their hand, because they were appreciative and because they’ll say, ‘You know what I did at the circus? I shook the hand of the tiger trainer.’ That makes it all worthwhile.”

Though his performance is finished, Khris’s work has just begun. Before he can remove his Captain Kirk outfit and settle down for a few minutes’ rest, the cats must be removed from the tent, quickly watered, and fully fed. The props crew must dismantle the cage, stack it in piles, and pull it away. The tasks are awkward, the crowd needs distraction, in circus tradition the ringmaster calls: send in the clowns.

3

First of May

Few people are more cherished on a circus lot than a First of May. He, or even she, can be embraced, abused, ridiculed, or ripped off. All of these happened to me during my first four days on the show.

“Oh shit. Who the hell are you? And what are you doing here?”

When I drove my camper onto the lot the Sunday evening before setup, I was greeted by the show’s official parking guru and grouch, Gene, a surly, swollen old-timer whom everyone on the circus called Hippo. With the physique of a bouncer and the charm of a tiger in heat, Hippo was the show’s twenty-four-hour man. He taped red arrows to road signs along the route every other night to guide the drivers, laid out the stake line on the new lot, and directed the trucks and trailers to their parking spots as they arrived throughout the night. The first two jobs he did well. As for the third, well, Hippo has been lucky over the years that none of the performers has had very good aim when it comes to throwing stakes.

“I’m a clown,” I said. “I’m new.”

“Well, fuck,” he said. “I don’t have room for you. I think you better leave.”

I laughed. He snarled. Then he gestured for me to follow.

My inaugural hours around the circus lot were like awkward moments in a new country where I didn’t speak the language and didn’t have a map. More importantly, I didn’t have a place to park. Before leaving home I had purchased an RV, the insider’s term for a recreational vehicle, alternately called a motor home, a camper, or, according to my dealer, a honeymoon on wheels. While the workers (as well as some of the clowns and musicians) lived in sleepers—semitrucks with cots in the back like overnight Italian trains—the performers were required to provide their own accommodations. After a crash course on mobile living (“Think small,” I was told by a friend and RV fanatic, “but not too small. If your milk falls out of the fridge during a drive you don’t want to get wet”), I settled on a four-year-old, twenty-three-foot Winnebago Warrior. Essentially a Chevy van with a hotel room on back, it came complete with two miniature beds, a shower, a toilet, a stove, a television set, and a refrigerator more than four feet from the driver’s seat. It also had a small table, which for me was a requirement, since I may have been the only person in history to run away and join the circus with a laptop computer.

After my initial encounter with Hippo, one that was repeated in one form or another every other night for the rest of the year, he decided that since I was a clown I should be parked directly behind Clown Alley, the small tent used for dressing that was located halfway down the line of trailers and near the side doors of the tent. While there was nothing wrong with this resolution in DeLand, where the lot was a large, open fairgrounds, this decision proved to be one of the worst things that happened to me all year. The reason: Hippo tried to park me in the same spot in every town, so even if there was a fence (as in Hinesville), a ditch (as in Hendersonville), or a Wal-Mart Dumpster (as in Waycross), the undisputed Mr. Least Congeniality of the Circus tried to squeeze, cajole, or harass me into the same place in every town we played. In the beginning I hated our thrice-weekly fights, but by the end I came to see them as a badge of honor. After all, he treated me just like everyone else.