As I walked through the door of our house I could tell by Melanie’s worried expression that something was wrong and I could feel the muscles in my face melt like ice into a lax puddle of disquietude. I could discern by her inflamed pink cheeks and the splayed red tributaries coursing across the whites of her eyes that she had been crying. I could see by her wide stare that I had startled her. I wondered immediately if the police had paid a visit while I was away; if they had come for me. I put down my lunchbox and I wasn’t particularly soiled so I took a step toward Melanie to comfort her, but she backed away and almost toppled over a kitchen chair before regaining her balance.

“What’s the matter? What happened?” Her eyes grew wider still.

“What is this?” Melanie held out a trembling hand…with Amber’s cell phone in her palm, the little heart stickers pasted around the face.

“Where…?” I felt like a little boy who had been caught with his pants down. I could feel my face flush red with embarrassment.

“Sarah and I… decided to do some cleaning.” Her eyebrows pinched in above her nose as she sobbed the word cleaning. “You said you didn’t kill her!” She yelled through a torrent of tears.

“I didn’t…I didn’t kill her. You have to believe me.” I opened my palms and spread my arms.

“Then what are you doing with her cell phone? Tell me.” She wailed, “How did you get her cell phone? She wouldn’t have left without it! And if she had lost it she would have called for it. But of course she couldn’t call because you killed her!” Melanie was hysterical, like a distraught child. Her facial expressions wavered as the muscles in her face contorted violently from anger to confusion to terror.

I took another step toward her. I wanted to assuage her fear. I wanted to convince her of my innocence; but she backed away again. “Melanie…it’s me…we love each other. Do you actually think that I would hurt you? You’re looking at me as if I were some kind of monster. I love you. I could never hurt you. I couldn’t hurt anyone!”

“Oh you couldn’t could you? I’ve seen you in action. I saw what you did to those boys at that party. You’ve hurt people before.” Melanie pointed at me accusingly as she stepped around and behind a chair. Snot was dripping from her nose. Her eyes were puffy and baggy and she was shaking like a dog shedding water.

“I don’t even know what happened there. I got hit on the head. To this day I don’t even remember what I did that night.”

“How convenient! I suppose you don’t know how you ended up with Amber’s cell phone either?”

“No,” I looked down at my feet and shook my head, “that I remember.” I sighed and walked over to the dinette chair that sat furthest from Melanie. “Where’s Sarah?”

“What?”

“I said, where is Sarah?”

“She’s down the street playing with a friend. I didn’t want her to see this. What does she have to do with this?” “Sit down.”

“No!” she yelled.

“You’re going to want to sit down.”

Melanie reluctantly plopped into a chair but she sat on the chair furthest from me with her legs to the side ready to run. Where she thought she would run I don’t know. If I had wanted to hurt her it would not have been difficult to catch her.

I told Melanie the story of Catherine’s murder. I shared every detail with her from my visit to the police station to our stay in the hotel and finally Catherine’s infidelity and the unlikelihood that I was Sarah’s natural father. Then I told her everything I knew about Amber’s death and the lengths to which I had gone to protect Sarah and myself as well as to try to give closure to Amber’s family.

“Sarah couldn’t have done that!” Melanie’s voice was filled with doubt.

“The truth is that I thought you had done it at first. But then you came over completely hysterical looking for ‘that cunt’ and I knew that you hadn’t done it. I realized then that Sarah had killed Amber. Sarah wanted us to move in with you and I told her that we couldn’t because of Amber. She had asked me what would happen if Amber should die.” I shrugged, “I didn’t give it a serious thought. But afterwards I knew.”

Melanie’s eyes were still wide and her lips pursed.

“Wait,” I jumped up from my seat startling Melanie so that she jumped as if she were going to bolt toward the front door. “I just remembered something else.” I said, stepping past her cringing frame. I stepped into the bedroom and opened my closet door. I reached inside my sport-coat pocket and pulled a white envelope from my breast pocket and I walked back into the kitchen and handed the letter to Melanie. She read it slowly and then reread it, as though the words hadn’t sunk in on the first pass.

“She had that in her purse. I found it that same morning. She was setting me free.

Melanie’s face dissolved into a flaccid sag and the tension in her continence slackened. “But how could Sarah have cut

Amber’s throat? She’s only a child?”

“I asked the same question. But she had killed before. And she was upset because she knew that Amber was the reason we fought that day. And she knew that Amber was the reason that we couldn’t move in with you.” I exhaled a deep sigh, “God knows I love her or I wouldn’t be here…but I’m afraid that she’s a sociopath.”

Melanie simultaneously shook and bowed her head and spoke softly. “I don’t believe you. She couldn’t have…”

“Well it’s true.” I stood up slowly and expected Melanie to jump up again, still fearful of me, but she just sat there in shock.

“She’s just a sweet little girl.”

“Do you think I would put the blame for such a thing on my own daughter if it wasn’t true? I’ve been protecting her all this time, but look where it’s gotten me. But I won’t let them touch her. The truth is that the police wouldn’t believe me if I told them what happened anyway…but I would never let them take her away. She’s my life…along with you.” I looked at Melanie’s face and waited for her to raise her head so that I could read her eyes, “You two are all I have. If you want to call the police and tell them that I did it, go ahead. I won’t move. Without the two of you my life is meaningless.”

“No. She couldn’t have done it. She’s only nine years old. She wouldn’t know how to do it.”

“The night she killed Amber we watched the movie Psycho.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m not saying that she learned how to use a knife from a movie…but afterwards I wondered if it gave her the idea. I don’t know. I don’t know what I could have done to prevent it. I latched the bedroom door.

Amber must have gotten up for a glass of water and left the door unlocked.”

“She couldn’t have used a knife like that.” Melanie was staring off into space as she envisioned Sarah committing the final act.

“I love you Melanie. I wouldn’t let her hurt you. That’s why I bolt the door at night.” Melanie stood and stepped toward me and fell into my arms and I held her and stroked the nape of her neck. I nuzzled her shoulder as I cried softly with her.

Melanie pulled away from me suddenly and looked up at me, “She would never hurt me…would she?”

“I don’t think so, but I won’t take that chance.” I pulled her back to me. “It was jealousy that inspired her to kill Catherine. To some degree it was jealousy that spurred her into killing Amber. She…must have walked in on us once while we were…” I left my sentence unfinished. “Sarah doesn’t appear jealous of you at all. You two are so close. I didn’t tell you for many reasons, but most importantly I didn’t want you to see her as a monster.”

Melanie leaned into my chest. The day had come that I had been dreading. Melanie knew my secret. I wondered as I held her, the heat of her trembling body warming me and the smell of her strawberry shampoo tickling my nose, if she could still love Sarah. As we stood there comforting one another, absently stroking each other, I heard Sarah’s labored strides begin to trundle up the back stairwell; her little feet sounding like fine sandpaper as the soles of her shoes slid across the wooden steps.