I nodded again, but all his words did was confuse me further. I couldn’t see anything straight at the moment. The answers we were getting were just muddling everything further. And I could still hear Lauren’s voice in the back of my head, telling me to let it go, to focus on Elizabeth.

Lasko glanced at his watch. “I need to get going. I’ll start digging on the trafficking thing when I get a chance.”

“Thanks,” I said, offering my hand. “I appreciate it. All of it.”

He shook my head. “You’re welcome. I wish we were making more progress for you.”

I shrugged. “That’s the way it goes sometimes, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but still.”

“And I’m serious,” I said. “If things are getting too hot inside, you don’t have to stick your neck out for me. Not worth it in the long run for you.”

He pulled his car keys from his pocket and slid sunglasses over his eyes. “I’ll be fine. Sometimes doing the right thing means some heat. Rather be right than cool.”

“I appreciate that,” I said. “But I mean it. If you need to step away, I’ll understand. No questions asked.”

He opened the door to his truck and smiled at me. “No questions asked? What fun would that be?”

TWENTY FIVE

I needed to clear my head.

I changed into running clothes and pulled tight on the laces of my shoes, like they might fall off if I didn’t tie them tight. I didn’t know if hitting the sand would help me organize my thoughts, but I knew I could at least wear myself out with a hard run, to the point that I’d be too tired to think anymore about it.

The late afternoon sun was warm and I was sweating by the time I got to the sand, having started from the driveway, rather than waiting until I got to the beach like I did with Elizabeth. There were far more people on the beach than I was used to seeing in the morning and I had to keep my eyes up, dodging walkers and kids and dogs as I pounded the sand toward the Hotel Del. The breeze coming off the water was strong, but I was still covered in sweat by the time I’d reached my turnaround point at the end of the beach.

The run back up the sand was tougher. The breeze had shifted so it was in my face and my thighs were burning, payback for having gone out so fast to begin with. It took me nearly twice as long to get back as it had to go out and by the end, I was walking and gasping for air. I’d done my best to tire myself out.

I was trudging up the sand toward the street and wiping the sweat from my eyes when I stopped cold.

Bazer was sitting on the wall, looking at me.

I stayed frozen for a moment, then continued walking toward him. He was wearing khakis, a golf shirt and black dress shoes. Mirrored sunglasses covered his eyes and his silver wristwatch glinted in the late day sun.

He stood when I reached him. “Joe.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“I came to your house to talk to you. Saw you leave for your run,” he said. “I didn’t want to interrupt so I waited on you here.”

I nodded again.

He adjusted the sunglasses. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me and that’s fine. But I heard you’re still looking into your daughter’s disappearance.”

The anger ignited somewhere around my ankles and worked its way up my body. It was one thing for Lauren to suggest I let it go. I understood where she was coming from and I respected her opinion. But to hear it from Bazer? A guy that had turned on a dime on me and thrown me to the wolves? Forget that I suspected he might’ve been involved with Elizabeth’s disappearance. Just the notion that he had any right to give me his opinion about what happened was enough to set me off.

“Go fuck yourself,” I said, moving to my left and walking past the edge of the wall where he sat. “It’s none of your business and if you think you can tell me what to do at this point, you can talk until you’re blue in the face. I’ll finish you off by choking the shit out of you.”

I started walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the short brick wall and I heard him leave the wall and follow me onto the concrete. I picked up my pace because I knew if he kept talking to me, I’d end up taking a swing at him.

“Joe, listen to me,” he called.

“Fuck you.”

“I’m telling you that you should look.”

My steps slowed until I stopped. I turned around. “What?”

He walked toward me. “You think I’m here to tell you to stop looking?” He shook his head. “I’m not.”

I realized my hands were balled into fists and forced them to unclench.

“I think you should be looking into what happened,” he said, pulling the sunglasses from his face, squinting into the sun.

I took a moment to collect myself. “Why?”

“Why shouldn’t you?” he answered. “I don’t think you got any definitive answers.”

“Yeah, but why do you give a shit?” I said. “For years, all you wanted me to do was to leave the whole thing alone. You basically fired me because I wouldn’t leave it alone.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did,” I said. “That and because I made your department look bad. So you leaked a bullshit story about me maybe being a potential suspect, ruined my fucking life. You were more than happy to wave goodbye to me. Then when I showed up here again, you threatened me, tried to scare me off. Fortunately, I could give a shit what you think, didn’t listen to you and found my daughter.” I shook my head. “So excuse me if I’m not buying the benevolent change of heart. You just aren’t that kind of guy.”

He looked away from me toward the water.

“Answer isn’t out there,” I said. “Why don’t you look me in the eye and say whatever the hell it is you want to say?”

His gaze slowly came back to me. “I was wrong.”

“No shit. But I don’t want an apology.”

“I understand that,” he said. “But I’m telling you, I was wrong. About your daughter. About you. About everything. And the bottom line is that her disappearance happened on my watch and it’s never been solved.” He paused, folded his arms across his chest. “If you think that doesn’t bother me, then you don’t get me at all.”

“I don’t think it bothers you the way it should’ve,” I said. “And I don’t need to get you.”

He nodded slowly. “Right. Fair enough. All I’m telling you is that if you need any help, let me know.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No.”

My hands clenched again. “For years, I spent every day looking for her. You cost me my job. You probably cost me my marriage. And you sure as hell cost me my reputation. And now you’re offering your help? After stonewalling me for forever?” I laughed again. “I don’t know whether to punch you or feel sorry for you.”

He slipped the glasses back on. “You can do whatever you’d like, Joe. I’m just telling you that if you need help, the department is willing to provide it.”

I stared at him. I genuinely couldn’t believe his audacity and I thought I had to have been missing something, some part of the conversation that had somehow managed to escape me. Not once since Elizabeth’s abduction had he acted like he cared about anything more than the reputation of his department. Not once. And now he wanted me to know that his resources were at my disposal. It was all surreal.

I thought for a moment and decided to call him on it. “Okay. I got a question.”

He cleared his throat. “Ask it.”

“Right around the time Elizabeth disappeared, there was a bust in I.B.,” I said. “Right down on the strand. Involved the Tijuana cartel, a local gang and the DEA. What do you know about it?”

He shifted his weight from one to the other. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“Just answer the question.”

He stood there, thinking. I knew I was putting him on the spot and giving some of what I’d worked on away. It was a risk because I was showing him some of my cards and, if he was involved in Elizabeth’s abduction, I was giving him a hint that I was onto him if the bust was tied to her disappearance. But I was tired of being passive with him. I wanted to see if I could get him to squirm.