“Uh, I’m not sure what I’m doing yet,” I said. “Why?”

“I was just wondering. If you were gonna be traveling and stuff or whatever.”

“No,” I said quickly. “Whatever I end up doing, I won’t be traveling. I’ll be staying home. I won’t be leaving.”

“Okay.”

I hesitated, then asked, “Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” she said, sounding surprised. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just…I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” she said. “And… I… I don’t know. I just would rather you were going to be around when we get back.”

The frustration and sting I’d felt at her not returning my text the previous night was replaced with my heart hammering against the inside of my chest and tears welling at the corners of my eyes. “I’ll be here. I promise.”

“Okay,” she said. “Here’s Mom.”

My breath caught while I waited for Lauren to come on the line.

I heard her muffled voice saying something and then she was there. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“How are you?”

“A bit overwhelmed.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Hang on a sec.”

I waited and her voice disappeared into a tunnel again.

“Okay, sorry,” she said. “She was getting in the shower.”

“That’s alright.”

“Yeah. Overwhelming,” she said, lowering her voice. “Like a new kid today.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I’m not exactly sure,” she said. “She woke up in a decent mood. I didn’t. And she asked me what was wrong. So I just laid it out for her. Everything. How frustrated I was, how confused I was. I told her how hard it was when she was gone. I told her how we went to shit and how you basically gave up your entire life to look for her. I don’t know.” She paused. “I just told her everything and I didn’t filter it and I didn’t worry about how she was going to react because I felt like she didn’t care, anyway.”

I took a deep breath and wiped at my eyes.

“And she listened,” Lauren said. “She sat there and she didn’t interrupt. She asked me what was wrong and I just didn’t even think. I just told her everything that was on my mind. And I was crying when I was done, just a mess. And then she leaned over and hugged me and told me she was sorry.”

Lauren coughed and I knew she was crying.

She worked hard to clear her throat. “I told her none of it was her fault and that I was sorry that it was hard and probably a bunch of other things that didn’t make any sense.” She paused. “And then I told her I was pregnant.”

I wasn’t sure why, but I laughed. “You did? Why?”

Lauren laughed, too. “I don’t know. I was just on a roll, I guess. She laughed, too.”

“What did she say?”

“I honestly don’t even remember,” she said. “But she was happy. She was still hugging me. And then she was apologizing for getting angry with me about the Corzines and that it was just hard and she didn’t really want to stay, but she felt like she was letting everyone down and she didn’t want to do that. She just kind of let it all out and I just hugged her. And then we were okay.”

I wiped at my eyes again. It was as happy as I’d felt in a long, long time. Everything else fell away. It felt like we were a family.

“So she asked if she could call you tonight,” she said. “That’s why she called.”

“I was shocked to hear her voice.”

“I thought you would be. And I heard what she was asking you.”

“About staying?”

“Yeah.”

She didn’t say anything.

“I told her I didn’t know what I was doing, Lauren, but that I’m not going anywhere.”

“I figured,” she said. “By her reaction, I mean. She smiled.”

“I hope that’s okay.”

“It is, Joe. It is.”

I still didn’t know what that meant for us, but I was glad she was saying it was okay. I wasn’t certain that we could put all of the pieces of our old life back together, but maybe there was a chance for a new life. A brand new start that would leave the past squarely in the past.

“And I don’t mean to cut this short, but I’m absolutely exhausted,” Lauren said. “I forgot how tiring it is being pregnant.”

“You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, just tired,” she said. “Nothing to worry about. I’ll get with the doctor when we get back and figure out where we’re going.”

“She said you made reservations?”

“No, I was just looking at flights. But probably day after tomorrow,” she said. “I’ll work on the flights in the morning and then let you know. But that gives her another day here tomorrow and we can ship back whatever she wants to ship.”

“Okay.”

She paused for a moment. “Joe.”

“Yeah?”

“I think we’re gonna be okay.”

“Me too.”

We said goodbye and hung up.

I plugged my phone into the charger on the counter and walked out front for a minute, needing some air. The evening breeze was weak, barely reaching the front yard from the ocean, but the salt hung heavy in the air. The yard still looked neat and trim after the work I’d done on it. I went and stood where Elizabeth had been standing the day she was taken.

I took a deep breath.

I was going to give myself two days.

Two days to find out what happened to her. And if I could, then I’d deal with it. I’d give myself whatever closure I could.

But after that?

I was going to let it go. For Elizabeth. For Lauren. And for me. I was going to leave that part of our lives behind. We had Elizabeth back. We were never going to be a family if I kept bringing the past into our current lives. We had to move forward in order to heal.

I took another deep breath, inhaling the scent of the ocean.

Two days.

THIRTY THREE

I was awake nearly the entire night, trying to figure out what I could do with my remaining two days. Everything that came to mind ran back to the initial bust in Imperial Beach. I’d talked to one side of that deal, but I hadn’t talked to the other side.

The cartel.

I wasn’t sure how to get to them, though. I thought about asking Lasko, but I was already feeling guilty about how far I’d dragged him into the entire mess. I appreciated his help and I knew I’d owe him, though I doubted he’d ever ask for repayment. But I didn’t want to push him so far into the abyss that his career imploded.

So as I dragged myself out of bed at daybreak, I turned to the one person I knew could get things done.

“Mr. Tyler,” John Anchor said on the other end of the line after one ring. “Good morning.”

I poured coffee from the pot into my mug. “Good morning. I hope I’m not calling too early.”

“It’s never too early.”

I wondered if he ever slept. Or if he was some sort of robot.

“How was Phoenix?” he asked.

“Phoenix was good, I guess,” I said. “I spoke to the woman. Thank you again for that.”

“My pleasure.”

“And I’m wondering if you might be able to put me in contact with someone else.”

“In Phoenix?”

“No,” I said and I laid out for him what I was looking for.

“It’s the Tijuana organization?” Anchor asked when I was done.

“Yes.”

“Can I put you on hold for just a moment?”

“Sure.”

The line buzzed quietly and I imagined Anchor paging through his contacts, seeing if he had a phone number for the leader of one of the most violent drug cartels in the world. I wasn’t sure which would be better – if he had it or if he didn’t.

He was back on the line within a minute. “I apologize for the delay, Mr. Tyler. I had to check on something.”

“No problem.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Anchor said. “Setting up a meeting like this requires some…coordination.”

“I understand.”

“It also might be at a moment’s notice,” he said. “There might be a short window of time.”

“That’s fine.”

“And, again, Mr. Tyler. I want to be clear that…”

“I know, John,” I said, cutting him off. “I appreciate the favors I’m asking for here and I will be happy to return them in kind.”

“Forgive me,” Anchor said. “I don’t mean to be insensitive. I just want to make sure we’re clear that it’s business.”