The satchel? I’ve still got it! I jump back and grab the sides of it holding it up. “We’ve still got this. We’ve still got the map.”

Lir clears his throat and takes a step back, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. “That’s great, Jax.”

I fumble with the buckle and pull up the flap, suddenly desperate to have the map in my hands, a physical reminder that we haven’t lost everything. “At least we know where we’re going and…” My searching fingers find the small metal orb from Dane’s office, another thing we still have though I have no idea if it’s even useful. I pull it out triumphantly. “And then there’s …” My voice falters as I take in his expression.

Lir’s face goes pale and a choked noise escapes his throat. Tension vibrates the air around him as he stares at the object in my hand. When he finally brings his eyes up to me, my stomach drops. The light in his gaze is gone, his eyes cold, hard and empty. There’s no smile, no smirk, nothing even remotely friendly on his face. Instead, there’s an emotion twisting his features that I’ve never seen on him before: fury.

“What are you doing with that?” His hands are fisted at his sides, knuckles white. “Was this all some sort of trick? Let you into the city so you can destroy us like you destroyed yourselves?” His eyes bore into me and I step back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I found it… It was—”

“You are lying!” One hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. “Why else would you have hidden it from me?”

My pulse starts to race. “I didn’t!”

He steps closer, backing me up to a tree. Too close. Friend or not friend? Anger or fear? Indecision freezes me and I’m stuck there with him leaned into me, a subtle tremble starting in my fingertips. I squeeze my eyes shut and count my breaths. One. Two. Breathe… It’s not helping, so I open my eyes, hoping he can see that I’m telling the truth.

“How many others have fallen for this? What happened to the supply ship? Where are the rest? How was it done?” I frantically shake my head, but he just keeps going, question after question. The movement wiggles my hair loose from my braid and it falls down around my face. It catches Lir’s attention and understanding breaks across his face.

He drops my wrist and takes a step back. “It was not you.” A soft shake of his head. “Blazes. I cannot believe I did not figure it out before. It was your brother. The hair… it’s why they took him.”

“What?”

“Your brother is a thief and a murderer.”

* * * * * * *

There’s a new suspicion in Lir’s eyes as he stoically recites the story. About six months ago an E’rikon supply ship vanished without a trace somewhere in the vicinity of Bridgelake. The last communication from the crew showed a red-haired human standing over a fallen alien, his face splashed with green blood. And it wasn’t the first of their ships to disappear. The details are vague and he’s holding back. He won’t tell me what the cargo was, just that they’ve been trying to retrieve it. Obviously the metal object I pulled from Dane’s desk was part of it, but there’s something bigger going on too. Something he doesn’t want me to know about. Just like that, he doesn’t trust me anymore.

It explains a lot, why the aliens were there, why they landed and even why they took Jace. But rather than being relieved at finally having some answers, I’m all the more terrified for my brother. It was one thing to think they took him mistakenly or just because, it’s completely different now that I know their real purpose— interrogation.

Lir claims they would have never taken him if they weren’t sure of his identity, but it just doesn’t sound like my brother. Could he really have done it? How would he have become a killer without me noticing? I can’t just accept it, not until I hear it from Jace. I let Lir examine the object and explain where and when I found it, but I keep the kitu I found to myself. If he can have secrets, then so can I.

The camaraderie we have developed over the past few days disappears. I don’t like him assuming the worst of my brother and Lir… he just retreats into himself. No words, no jokes, just hiking in silence with rumbling stomachs. In the beginning, I would have welcomed this quiet and near solitude, but I’ve gotten used to the easy conversation calming me. With nothing else to distract me, my worries play over and over in my head with every step.

Night comes and there’s nothing to cook over the fire, only some blackberries I scrounged up. It’s hard and cold on the ground and the descent of darkness only amps up my anxiety. I rock back and forth and close my eyes, but it doesn’t help and there’s silence on the other side of the fire. Even when I get up and start pacing, there’s no reassurance from Lir. Not a word. He just rolls over and goes to sleep.

The nightmares don’t let me sleep. Every time I close my eyes all I see is red and hands and pain.

I’m up before the sun, scavenging around the campsite and plotting our route for the day. I use the knife to scrape off some pine bark to take the edge off our hunger and we start walking.

Today’s no better than yesterday. Hungry, dirty and stiff we trek along without speaking. I refuse to believe the worst of my brother and Lir won’t talk about it. He won’t listen to my pleas for more information and he snaps at me when I ask him to explain how they know for sure it was my brother. Either way, I’m not Jace and had nothing to do with it. The alien shouldn’t be taking it out on me.

Finally, after another cold night on the rocky ground spent battling with my dreams, I can’t take it anymore. “It wasn’t me,” I say.

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t do it.” I stop walking and wait for Lir to catch up to me.

“I am aware of that.” He sighs and pushes ahead of me without stopping.

And that’s our conversation for the day. I fight against tears and a hurt I don’t quite understand.

Up in a tree the next morning, I see the first town we have to pass through. It’s deserted like most of them nowadays, but I’d much rather stick to the woods. The forest only gets sparser on this leg of the journey though. At least there might be food somewhere in there. Cans keep for a while and before the Collapse there were lots of other things with shelf lives longer than I’ve been alive.

Even better, there might be a camping store or something. I’m sick and tired of sleeping on the ground.

“We’re headed into what used to be civilization today,” I say. He just looks at me and nods. “Might find some food. Sleeping bags. A soft place to sleep.” Still just nodding. “If we spend some extra time there we could probably find enough supplies to last us.”

“Whatever you think is best.”

How can I possibly decide what is best? The words bubble up past my lips before I can stop them. “Is it just going to continue this way? I don’t know what you want me to say and it’s exhausting.”

“I want you to believe me.”

“I do believe you.” I throw my hands up and pace in front of him. “Someone stole your ship and—”

“Not someone,” says Lir. “Your brother. And it’s not the ship I’m angry about. A good friend of mine was on that crew.”

“I’m sorry about your friend, but you’ve got to understand I can’t just accept that my brother…”

“It was him.”

“You won’t even explain to me how you know this. You don’t explain anything to me.” My steps falter and I cross my arms over my chest.

“I don’t have to explain anything to you. I only have to get you to the city. That’s what I’m going to do.” He brings his eyes up to meet mine, the stupid, emotionless tone of his voice ringing in my ears. “And nothing more.”

Tears burn at the back of my eyes. I’m torn apart with worry for Jace. I have to leave the safety of the forest. I’m hungry. I’m dirty. I haven’t had a good night’s rest in three or four days. Not only is my hopelessness coming to a head, it has been joined by loneliness. My only ally has turned his back on me and, as much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. Well, at least the boy that was my friend. This snappy, uncaring, and downright cold boy before me is nothing like the one I got to know before. I even miss that frustrating eyebrow.