I settle my left hand on his wrist and use my right to wipe at the cut with disinfectant soaked gauze. He inhales sharply and stiffens, and I almost snatch my hand away again, but he relaxes once I’ve finished cleaning his wound and so do I. Well, mostly. My breathing is pretty steady at least. This is a little harder than I thought it would be.

I fumble when I go to grab the needle. It slips from my fingers and slides off the table. Before it can hit the floor, Lir’s hand darts out to catch it and he holds it out to me, his fingertips brushing against my palm when I take it from him. A chill passes over me in a mist of unease, more from the intense expression on his face as he studies me than the touch. He tilts his head to the side and I quickly look away, concentrating instead on trying to get my shaky hands to thread the needle.

After my fourth or maybe fifth attempt, Lir shakes his head. “One would think you humans would be a little more advanced than a needle and thread.”

There’s just enough derision in his tone for my rising temper to push out my nervousness. “We are. I mean, I could parade you down to the med center. They’ve got stuff there that will fix you right up. I don’t know how keen they’d be on letting you out though.” He doesn’t respond so I continue, “I’m horribly sorry that you have to be stuck with these primitive medical techniques. Would you rather I leave it be?”

He holds his arm out and looks away. “Just get on with it.” His jaw tenses as he clenches his teeth and waits for me to start stitching.

* * * * * * *

I shoot to my feet as soon as the last stitch is in place. I’ve managed to hold my hands steady this long and now the only thing I want is to get out of this room and get a few real breaths.

“I think you’re capable of wrapping it up. I’m going to find you something to wear. Since you can’t wear that.” I motion to the now disheveled uniform. “Dead giveaway.”

Striding across the kitchen, I go into Jace’s room and shut the door behind me. It takes a moment before I feel comfortable enough to continue with my task. If I’m this thrown by sitting next to the alien for a few minutes, how am I ever going to survive traveling with him? It doesn’t matter. I have to make it work.

I open Jace’s dresser and pick through the clothes, searching for something that will fit alien boy. My heart lurches just a bit as I shuffle through the haphazard pile of shirts. Jace was always the messy one. Is. I mean, Jace is the messy one. I pull out a green t-shirt and drop it on the bed, then I find a pair of faded jeans with a hole in the knee— Jace won’t miss those— and put them on the bed with the shirt.

I manage not to jump out of my skin when Lir just walks into the room. Don’t aliens know how to knock?

“Change,” I say, sending him a dirty look, and then stride back through the doorway.

Flopping into the chair in the den, I begin making a mental list of supplies we’ll need for the trip. As I’m tallying the supplies I have on hand and what we may need to trade for, a loud thump draws my eye to Jace’s doorway where Lir is standing with his back to me— shirtless.

My hand shoots up to cover the sound of my gasp. I’d heard of the green blood, but I’d never heard of anything like this. Golden scales with green tips extend from the hairline on the back of his neck in a line along his spine and flare out over his hips, disappearing into the top of the dark gray uniform pants. The line of scales, the trail down his back only a few inches wide, is brilliantly colored, almost like jewels. I’ve never seen anything like it and I want to know what they feel like. Are they soft like a snake’s sun warmed skin or hard and jagged like the colored rocks they resemble?

I’m up and almost halfway across the room before I realize what I’m doing and stop in my tracks. Mentally cursing myself, I step back, jostling the table behind me when my hip hits it. Lir looks back at me over his shoulder and I can feel flames licking at my cheeks.

He raises his eyebrow and simply stares at me while I stammer out something about needing to get to the kitchen. “You know, for supplies,” I say. “Food. To pack…”

I can almost see the truth hit him as he takes in my red face and almost incoherent phrases. He begins to smile. He knows I was watching him and I’m mortified. “I’ve just never… I didn’t know… the scales…” He only looks at me expectantly and my horrible mouth won’t shut up. “They’re beautiful.” If my face could get any redder, it just did.

“I think this is the first time I have seen you speechless,” says Lir with laughing eyes. “Had I only known, I would have removed my shirt sooner.”

His teasing tone is lost on me as my stomach drops and ice cold terror begins to seep up from my toes with every beat of my now pounding heart. I’m alone in the cabin with a half naked man. Someone I don’t know. Without Jace. Something must show on my face because Lir’s smile falters and another expression crosses his face. Concern? I scramble backwards for two steps before whirling around and heading out the front door.

I can’t run away like every one of my instincts is screaming at me to do. I can’t even really afford to be out here on the porch. What if someone sees? Then they’ll ask questions and… Breathe. I sit down on the steps and put my head between my knees. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

That’s where Lir finds me a few minutes later, eyes closed pulling deep noisy breaths in through my nose.

“Jax…” At his voice I startle and look up. He inches toward me with his hand out, but must change his mind about touching me when he drops it to his side. “Are you alright?”

“Peachy.” I hop to my feet. “Gotta go pack. I’d really like to get going as soon as possible and we’re wasting time. You need to get back in the house before someone sees you. So do I, so come on.” I spin around and head back toward the door.

He stops my retreat by grabbing my arm, but releases it just as quickly when my whole body tenses. He backs up with his hands raised. “Fine. You go pack.” I can feel his eyes on me when he follows me back into the cabin and I wonder if he’s still looking at me with that searching expression.

FOUR

Lir’s eyes track the circular pattern of my pacing from his spot on the couch. Kitchen. Den. Hallway. Kitchen. Den. Hallway. This house has never felt so small. Adding the two bedrooms to my rotation would make it bigger, but the buzzing agitation in my head will only get worse if I go back into Jace’s room. Because he’s not there and he’s not going to be there until I go get him…until I go into the woods by myself with an alien and get to the city… where there will be more aliens, probably lots of them…Are they all as attractive as Lir?

Crap. There is something seriously wrong with me. And he’s smiling like he finds this amusing.

This isn’t going to work. But this has to work. I’m going to go off alone with this boy who is not my brother and I’m going to deal with it. Who cares if my fingers still itch to find out what the scales feel like? Who cares that he keeps looking at me like he’s not quite sure what to make of me… and I don’t even mind his eyes on me? What else can I possibly do? If I can’t get a handle on myself….this isn’t going to work. Gah. Even my thoughts are circular now.

Priorities would be…breathing, calming down, and… “Stop looking at me!”

He jolts and averts his eyes. “Sorry?”

No longer under his gaze, the creeping freeze of anxiety slows and then stops. A few more circuits and I’m almost back to normal, well, normal for me anyway.

Packing for this trip might be an issue. I can pull together some clothes and a couple bed rolls, but the pantry is rather empty. We were supposed to go to the market today and although, between Jace and me, we get plenty of fresh meat, it’s not the most portable stuff. Plus, Jace’s haul from today was left lying on the ground in the clearing.