“It’s the only way,” Thrace repeated. He looked at herintently. “I know you weren’t raised to do this—I know you think it’s wrong.But your body wants mine as mine wants yours.” He buried his face in her neckand inhaled deeply before pulling back to look at her. “I can smell the need onyou.” His voice was a low, soft growl. “All I’m asking, Trin, is that you givein to that need—just once. Just long enough to save your life. I…” His voicegrew hoarse. “I can’t stand here and watch you die. I care too much for you todo that.”

“We shouldn’t,” Trin whispered but she was alreadyin his arms. “I should be willing to die before I allow a male to penetrate mybody. I should be willing to lay down my life rather than commit such sacrilege.”

“It’s not a sacrilege—it’s a sacrament,” heinsisted earnestly. “I don’t believe in the Goddess but in this I do believe.I won’t hurt you, Trin—I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it’s a pleasurableexperience for you. I’ll make you come again and again but please…let me saveyour life—don’t make me watch you die. Please.” His voice broke on thelast word and Trin felt herself breaking inside too.

“What about you?” she whispered pleadingly. “Won’tthis cut your life span in half? I can’t do that to you—I can’t ask you tosacrifice your life for me.”

“That’s only if what we do causes a bond,” Thrace said.“And even then—”

“That’s right—the bond!” Trin drew back from him,her heart in her mouth. “We…I can’t risk that. Can’t risk tying us together forlife!”

“We have to risk it—it’s the only way,” Thracesaid grimly. “Besides—I know what you think of me—know you don’t want to betied to me. So I’ll do my best not to bond you to me.”

“I…I never meant…I just thought…” Trin couldn’tfinish her thought.

She stepped back and crossed her arms over herchest, shivering. The wine she had drunk was having a strange effect on herbody—first she was hot, then she was cold and always she could feel her desiregrowing, her clit throbbing like a second heartbeat between her legs and hernipples tingling. The rapidly shifting sensations made it hard to think but shetold herself she had to—had to reason this out before all reason left her.

Ican’t do this…I shouldn’t do this. But why? Itwasn’t that she feared to lose her status as one of the Unpenetrated—that hadalready happened. Once she would have felt that submitting herself to a male’sshaft would make her less of a woman—but she no longer really felt that wayanymore. Not after getting to know Thrace as a person. If those werethe only obstacles in the way, she would have gladly given him permission tosave her life. But there was more—the deep seated belief, instilled inchildhood, that doing this—that allowing a male to penetrated her—was a slap inthe face of the goddess she worshipped. Blasphemy…sacrilege…the worst kind ofdepravity.

Trin remembered kneeling at the feet of the statueof the Goddess of Judgment on the day she had been dedicated at the temple. Shehad been only twelve cycles old and just that week the priestesses had beenteaching her and the other girls in her class about the filthy, immoral practicesof other planets. Planets where males and females lived and mingled together insexual union. There had been pictures too—drawings of huge, brutish malestaking females from behind, forcing their thick shafts into the females’ bodieswhile the objects of their lust writhed in agony and shame.

“Thisis what will become of you if you allow a male to penetrate you,” one of the greater sisters—Sister Honor—hadlectured in a low, serious voice. “A male will use you like trash—defile andabuse you. And afterwards the Goddess can never accept you into her Holy Halls.You will be damned to the Hell of Defiled Women when you die. Is that what youwant? Is it?”

No! Trin shivered at the old but still vivid memory.No, that’s not what I want at all.

Of course, if someone had asked her a few monthsago if she still believed all the teachings of her childhood, she would have scoffedand said she was a grown woman, capable of making up her own mind. But now,faced with a decision that would alter her life radically and completely, shewas no longer so quick to scoff. The Hell of Defiled Women might be just aridiculous fairy tale made up by vindictive priestesses to keep naughtychildren in line but what if it wasn’t? What if it was all true and the Goddesswas watching right now and…

No,stop it! she told herself sternly. Stopthinking like that. Yes, you’ve been taught to believe this is wrong—thewrongest thing you can do. But are you so certain about that belief that you’rewilling to give your life for it? Are you really ready to die rather than let amale penetrate you?

The answer again, was no. No, she didn’t want todie here, with so much life left to live. No, she didn’t want to give upeverything for her childhood beliefs.

But neither did she want to dishonor herselfcompletely. Part of her—a large part—wanted to be back in Thrace’s arms. Wanted to feel hiswhite-hot kisses on her mouth, taste his lips and then open herself to him. Tolet him stroke and caress every inch of her body before he finally thrust homewithin her.

However, Trin knew that was exactly what she must notdo. There had to be a way to do this—to have sex with the huge Havoc andsave her life—without making it a worse blasphemy than it already was. There mustbe a way…

Suddenly, she knew how.

“All right,” she whispered at last, looking up at Thrace,who was waiting anxiously for her answer. “But…I don’t want this to be a pleasurableexperience.”

“What?” He frowned, clearly not sure he’d heard hercorrectly.

“You heard me.” Trin raised her chin. “I said, Idon’t want it to be pleasurable. It shouldn’t be. This isn’tright and I’m not doing it for pleasure or because I want you…want you in me.It’s a necessity. It’s only to save my life.” She took a deep breath.“So don’t make it nice and sweet and safe for me, Thrace. Don’t try to make me come.Just…just shove it in and do it.”

His face hardened.

“Are you asking me to rape you? Because I won’tfucking do that, Trin.”

“It’s not rape—I’m willing.” She threw his ownwords back at him and watched him flinch. “Just not…” She crossed her arms overher breasts which felt swollen and hot with need. “Just not willing to makethis anything else but what it is—a necessary evil.”

“Is your guilt really that great?” His voice was ahoarse whisper. “So great you can’t let the only time we share thistogether be any good? Any good at all?”

“I just can’t. Can’t let myself enjoy it.” Trinlooked at him pleadingly. “Try to understand, Thrace—doing this is bad enough.Allowing myself to take pleasure in it…that would be beyond wrong.”

“How can it be wrong to show you how I feel aboutyou?” His deep voice was almost pleading now. “To worship your body with myown…to give you as much pleasure as I can when I take you? Please Trin, can’tyou at least let me do that?”

For a moment Trin wanted to melt at his soft,heartfelt words. But she knew she couldn’t let herself bend on this—couldn’tgive so much as an inch. It wasn’t just her body at stake but her very soul—andeverything she had believed in since childhood. There could be no compromisinghere.

“No,” she said, trying to keep a steady voice. “No,I’m sorry but I can’t.”

Forcing herself to be hard and cold, she walkedstiffly to the bed. There she stripped off the green Yonnie Six gown, tearingthe white lace panels in the process and letting it fall in a heap on thefloor. She kicked it carelessly aside—it wasn’t like she would ever need itagain. Hooking her thumbs in the tiny string panties that went with the gown,she pushed them down her hips. Then she turned to Thrace and spread her arms, showingherself to him. Offering herself to him.