“We don’t steal them!” Stevie Rae said earnestly. “Nyx gifted you with them for the good choices you’ve made. Consequences go both ways, Rephaim. They can be good and bad.”
Somehow that made his heart feel lighter and he smiled, kissing her again. “I’ll remember that.”
“I want you to remember somethin’ else, too. You did a good thing today when you didn’t turn your back on your brothers.” Her fingers plucked at a blond curl, and he knew whatever she was saying was hard for her, so even though he needed to get free of the tunnels, to get above to the waiting sky, he remained sitting there beside her with her hand in his while she continued. “I’m sorry your brother got killed.”
“Thank you,” he said quietly, hardly trusting his voice.
“They came to the House of Night to get you to leave with them, didn’t they?” she asked.
“Not really. Father did send them to find me, but not to take me away.” Rephaim paused, not sure how to explain the rest to Stevie Rae. The two of them hadn’t talked about his brothers when they’d finally been alone—they’d been too eager to touch, to be close, to love.
Stevie Rae squeezed his hand. “You can tell me. I trust you, Rephaim. Please trust me, too.”
“I do!” he exclaimed, hating the hurt he saw in her eyes. “But you have to understand that even though Father has disowned me, that changes nothing here.” He touched his chest over his heart. “I will forever be his son. I’ll walk the path of the Goddess. I’ll fight for Light and what is right. I’ll love you. Always. But you must understand that somewhere inside me I’ll always love him, too. Becoming human has taught me that.”
“Rephaim, I have to tell you somethin’ that might sound mean, but I think you need to hear it.”
He nodded. “Go ahead. Tell me.”
“Before I was Marked I went to school with this girl name Sallie. Her momma took off and left her and her daddy when she was about ten ’cause she was basically just a downright nasty ho slut and she didn’t want the responsibility of raisin’ a kid. It hurt Sallie real bad when her momma left, even though her daddy tried to do his best for her. But the worst part of the whole thing was that her momma wouldn’t stay gone. She’d come back and, as my momma used to say, stir the shit pot.”
He gave her a questioning look, and Stevie Rae said, “Sorry, that means her momma came back around just to mess with her—to keep Sallie’s life all filled with stupid drama and such because she was selfish and mean and uber screwed up.”
“What happened to this Sallie girl?” Rephaim asked.
“When I got Marked and left school she was on her way to bein’ as uber screwed up as her momma ’cause she didn’t have the strength to tell her momma to stay away. Sallie still wanted her momma to be a good person, to love her and care about her, even though that just wasn’t possible.” Stevie Rae drew a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. “What I’m tryin’ to say, and probably not doin’ it very well, is that you’re gonna have to decide whether you want to be as messed up as your daddy, or if you want to really start a new life.”
“I’ve already chosen a new life,” he said.
Stevie Rae met his eyes and shook her head sadly. “Not all of you has.”
“I can’t betray him, Stevie Rae.”
“I’m not askin’ you to. All I’m askin’ you to do is to not let him stir your shit pot.”
“He wanted me to spy for him. That’s what he sent my brothers to tell me. I told Nisroc no.” Rephaim said the words quickly, as if by doing so he could get rid of their bitter taste.
Stevie Rae nodded. “Yeah, see, shit pot stirring.”
“I do see it, even though it isn’t an easy thing to look at. Can we not talk about him for a while? All this is new for me. I need to figure out how to find my place in this world.” Rephaim stared into Stevie Rae’s kind eyes, willing her to understand. “I’ve been with Father for hundreds of years. It’s going to take some time for me to get used to not being by his side.”
“That makes sense. How ’bout this: I’ll tell Zoey and the rest of the gang that your brothers were there to let you know Kalona would take you back if you said you’d made a mistake. You said no, so they were just leavin’ when Dragon and that Aurox guy saw you. That’s the truth, right?”
“Yes. What about the rest of it, the part about Father asking me to spy for him?”
“Well, I can tell you that I’ll bet everyone pretty much figures Kalona would try to use you against us if you let him. You’re not letting him, so I don’t think spelling it out for them is a big deal.”
“Thank you, Stevie Rae.”
She smiled. “No problem. Like I said, I trust you.”
He kissed her again, but about then he began to feel an already all-too-familiar prickling over his skin, as if his feathers were forming, growing, pressing to be free. “I must go.” And this time he began to move quickly from the room. He could hear her start to get off the bed behind him and when he looked back she was pulling on her T-shirt and looking around for her jeans. “No,” he said more firmly than he’d intended, but the pain had already begun through his body and he knew he hadn’t much time. “Don’t come with me. You have to meet with Zoey.”
“But I can after—”
“I don’t want you to see me become a beast!”
“I don’t care about that,” she said, looking like she was on the verge of tears.
“But I do. Please. Do not follow me.” Without another word he ducked under the blanket that served as a door covering to Stevie Rae’s room. By the time he’d reached the metal ladder-like stairs that led up from the tunnels and into the basement, Rephaim was running. Sweat poured from his body and he had to grit his teeth not to cry out with the burning agony of the change that was gripping him. He sprinted through the basement and flung open the grate just as the sun slipped free of the horizon and with a scream that turned into the cry of a raven his body shifted form and the dark raven who had no memory of the boy launched himself into the seductive, waiting arms of the morning sky.
Stevie Rae
Stevie Rae didn’t go after him, but she did finish getting dressed. She wiped her eyes, too, before she left her room and turned in the opposite direction Rephaim had taken and headed for the hub of the depot tunnels—the little cul-de-sac-like area they’d turned into a kitchen and computer hub. Mountain Dew, she thought as she stifled a yawn. I need me some caffeine and sugar.
She rounded the corner and smiled sleepily at Damien, Zoey, Aphrodite, and Darius. The four of them were sitting around a table loaded with books in the center of the kitchen.
“There’s lots of pop in that fridge,” Zoey said, waving at one of the two big side-by-side refrigerators.
“More than just brown?”
“There’s brown and green and clear. Oh, and some Orange Crush because Kramisha said she thinks it’s healthy,” Z said.
“Which is bullshit,” Aphrodite said before upending a bottle of Fuji water. “Choose water. Anything else will make you fat. Well, except for blood.” She paused and her beautiful face squeezed into an ick look. “I don’t know about the calorie count in it, and since I un-fledgling-ed I don’t even want to think about it.”
Stevie Rae pulled open the fridge and gawked at the loaded insides. “Where did all this stuff come from?”
Zoey gave a little sigh. “Kramisha. She said instead of going to third hour she ‘field-tripped’”—Z air quoted—“to Utica Square and just happened to run into some night shift guys stocking the shelves at Petty’s grocery store.”
Stevie Rae peeked around the arm of the fridge at Z. “Uh-oh. She red vamp zapped them?”
“She definitely zapped them,” Damien said. “Which is how all this food got delivered down here. She even talked them into bringing this table from one of their food sample setups.”