He chimed in with a nice clear tenor, as if trying to help her find the right key.
Refusing to give in, she sang even louder, her voice rising to a high, squeaky croak. He twirled her faster, their dreadful duet broken by snatches of their gasping laughter.
She tried to ignore the slow, warm, diffused excitement coming up from deep inside to glaze her skin with heat.
In the middle of the room, at the height of the song and their laughter, he dipped her so low her shoulder-length hair brushed the floor.
He brought her up, and his face looked alive with delight. “It’s reassuring to mere mortals that you’re not perfect. You still have a tin ear.” He laughed like he couldn’t stop. Deep, full of joy.
She caught it, joining in, dazzled by him.
He’s close enough to kiss.
Her laughter died in her throat and she took one step back.
His arm tightened around her so she couldn’t move.
Time fell away like it had in the Secret Closet. The past rushing forward to collide with the present.
He lifted her chin with his thumb, and she felt him stroke her cheek. Ever so slowly, he lowered his head and she closed her eyes, wanting his kiss.
His lips brushed against her mouth and a shock rippled through her body. For one insane instant, she opened her lips wider, letting his tongue trace the contours, tasting her. Tasting him. Molding her lips to his wonderful, warm, sensual mouth.
No!
Fear brought sanity, and she pulled away. She drew a deep, strengthening breath, trying to recapture her courage. “For a second you let me in,” she whispered.
His eyes narrowed into slits, the concentrated cornflower blue seared through her. “I let you in once before. Remember?”
He opened the door, and she had to walk through.
“Yes, I remember. I betrayed you, and you’ll never forgive me.” She said it in all its stark reality.
Something flickered in his eyes. He dropped his arms and stepped back.
But he still seemed to be touching her. She felt his heat. Felt tension quivering around them. Time seemed to stand still. Waiting for her to make another mistake.
No matter what it cost her, she needed to finish what she’d started a lifetime ago. “I don’t need your forgiveness for what I did. I’d like your understanding. I told your uncle that you were leaving school to go sail in the Fastnet because I was seventeen and terrified that you’d be killed like your parents. I truly believed that I was the only person on the planet who could keep you safe.”
She forced herself to keep gazing into his eyes, to somehow penetrate the barriers he’d set up, so smooth, so light, so unassailable. “Maybe I could have done it differently, but I didn’t know how. All I knew was that I had to risk losing our relationship to save you.”
She had to look away, couldn’t let him see what it cost her to dredge up these feelings of aching fear and love.
He gave nothing away. His face was cool and beautiful in the dim light.
I need to get away. Now!
She gathered up the hem of the gown in both fists. “I’ll change and let you out. The security code is already set.” She turned and ran.
She ran away from his silence The only answer he’d given. She knew it was stupid to go over the past like this, as if she could change it, or he could understand it at last.
How could she stop memories, really? They lived inside, replaying over and over the feeling of being kissed by Drew with a slow, sensual heat and wanting to kiss him back forever. Wanting to give him everything like she’d once offered. Like she’d offered tonight.
He’d rejected her then and now.
Drew let her go, determined to regain his usual detachment. Determined to stop his urge to go after her and pull her back into his arms.
Christ, he wanted to understand. Wanted to forgive. Wanted her.
Somewhere, back in the recesses of his subconscious, the truth knocked every other excuse over like a game of dominoes until any fool could see it. Without truth serum, with nothing but the ache in his gut, he knew he’d never stopped wanting her.
Just like he’d first wanted her at nineteen.
It had been inappropriate then. Absolutely. Impossible.
They had been too young, too inexperienced, and he had been too rubbed raw from pain.
Restless, he roamed around the room. All this sexual energy, all his aching regrets, all his pounding yearnings building inside him needed an outlet, a way to make her understand his feelings.
Christ, I need to understand.
He let all the memories roar back in. Athena breaking her promise to keep his secret. His rage and pain at being betrayed by the one person he trusted above all others. He’d been vulnerable on so many levels he couldn’t admit. Sometimes he still felt like that vulnerable boy believing that he’d betrayed his parents with his judgment and they had betrayed him with their choice to leave him behind.
Then he’d been an impetuous kid, lashing out at the world, lashing out at Athena. Yes, she’d hurt him and potentially saved him by doing it. Or so she truly believed.
Maybe I believe her.
He stopped and gazed down at his family’s trappings of wealth. The solid gold ornaments. The priceless jewels on the napkin holders. Beautiful, tangible symbols of their power. For one hundred and fifty years, Clayworths had taken chances, fought overwhelming odds to seize what they wanted.
He was a Clayworth to his very core, and he wanted Athena.
He slowly mounted the stairs.
CHAPTER
Athena’s hand trembled so much she couldn’t get proper hold of the tiny velvet buttons on the dress. She turned around, looked over her shoulder, and tried to see in the mirror why she couldn’t get the darn thing open. If she weren’t aquiver with remorse, embarrassment, and an odd, totally inappropriate excitement, she could get the job done.
I need to get the job done so I can get away from Drew.
Her upper right arm still ached from her efforts to help Drew sail. Straining with every ounce of dexterity she possessed, she managed to get the top three buttons loose.
“Only twenty more to go,” she breathed, exhausted and so tense her body felt on fire. She knew she’d been right to confront him about the past, but she hadn’t known how vulnerable it would make her feel to relive all the old, powerful emotions.
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath for courage before opening them again.
In the mirror she saw Drew standing in the doorway.
She gasped and swung toward him, holding the dress to her heaving bosom. “I didn’t hear you knock.”
“I didn’t knock.” Their eyes locked as he clicked the door shut and walked toward her. “Do you need help?”
No, I’ll call the security guard. No, I’ll wear the dress home. No, I…
“Yes. The one other time I wore this dress, it wasn’t as difficult.” Then she remembered there’d been a saleswoman to help. She turned her back to him. “Please. I’m sorry. The buttons are really tiny.”
“I have good hands.”
His fingers were cool and gentle touching her back. She looked pointedly at the floor, trying to ignore her heart pounding against her ribs so hard she hoped he couldn’t hear it.
Please, please don’t let this be another mistake.
Mercifully, he had her unbuttoned in a few minutes. She looked up, just as one shoulder of the black dress slipped, exposing the bruise on her upper arm.