craving for my touch. I’ve never been with anyone this beautiful, and there’s something amazing,

almost surreal about it.

As I carefully prepare him, he makes another low noise in his throat.

“God, James, come on,” he curses almost desperately.

Not that I really needed another invitation. Rizzo, as far as he’s concerned, seems to almost glow

with ecstasy even before I begin to move in him. Oh god, this is unbelievably good…

* * *

With a loud bang Rizzo closes the trunk of his car and flashes a sexy little smile at Casey and me. We

are all dead tired the next morning, and for good reason. A grin steals onto my lips just thinking of it.

Casey and I came down from my room to see Rizzo off, and now we are standing beside his shining red

ride, arm in arm, and Casey has his hand in the back pocket of my jeans. His dad is going to pick him

up in two hours, and I’m taking a bus home this afternoon. I get a cold, nervous ball in my stomach

thinking about leaving here and what awaits me, but I push these thoughts to the back of my head.

“You know,” Casey says spontaneously as Rizzo squeezes past us and opens the driver’s door,

“James and I are gonna go to my family’s holiday lodge for some time in a week. Why don’t you give

us a call and come by some time?”

Rizzo arches an eyebrow and looks from him to me, a sly grin appearing on his lips. “Maybe I will.”

His eyes linger on my face for a moment. He looks like he is going to say something else, but then he

just smiles and gets into the car. I think I understand anyway.

Rizzo starts the engine and Casey and I wave as he speeds away, raising a cloud of dust that

encircles us completely. Slowly the feeling sinks in that he is really gone. It feels like he has left a wide

gap. Casey and I exchange a look and he smiles a little.

“That was… interesting.” Casey sounds both pensive and amused as we turn around and go back

inside the building.

I’m not sure if he’s taking about Rizzo’s exit, last night, or maybe this whole semester, but he is

definitely right. I laugh softly and pull him close for a long, tender kiss. When we part there’s a trace of

sadness in his eyes that surprises me.

“Do you think he’ll really come by?” he asks quietly.

“Hey, this is Rizzo we’re talking about. ‘Course he will,” I grin, trying to chase away the melancholy

that seems to hang heavy in the air now.

Casey nods and smiles a little, his hands warm on my chest as they slide down to rest on my hips. He

doesn’t look at me when he speaks again, softly. “I knew you wanted him.”

Startled, I just stare at him for a moment, then I vehemently shake my head, very serious now.

“Casey, all I want is you, don’t you know that?”

The blue eyes light up when he looks at me, and he smiles in a way that touches my heart. “Maybe,

yeah. But it’s okay, James. Because you’re with me.”

I swallow, and force myself to smile. “I sure am.” God, I feel like such a creep. I knew it. Last night

was a mistake. Somehow, instinctively, Casey now seems to sense that there’s a part of me that needs

Rizzo almost as much as I need him. I don’t know why it is that way. It shouldn’t be, because Casey is

the one I love. But Rizzo… Man, it’ll take more than a good lay to get him out of my system. Exorcism

or rehab, either way, there’s something I have to do about it.

“You kinda looked like you wanted him too,” I tease him.

“Nooo,” he lies with a grin.

We both laugh, and it’s just a tiny bit awkward, but he looks so cute.

“Love ya,” Casey says under his breath, once again knowing exactly what I need to hear right now. I

close my eyes to drink in the words. I put my arms around him and just hold him tight for a moment.

And it’s then that I know somehow that everything is going to be okay. I don’t know how or when, but

I’ll find a way.

Suddenly someone punches me on the shoulder, and I let go off Casey and turn around to see Anna

grinning at me. “See you next semester, dickhead.”

“Have a nice summer, you crazy dyke.”

On her way out she nods to Casey. “See? Got what you wanted in the end!”

I watch as the door closes behind her, smiling to myself. Casey is smiling too. It makes me feel

hopeful. They never show you what happens after the glorious happy end. They never show you that it

takes a continuous effort to love and be loved. And I’m sure Rizzo will somehow manage to turn my

whole world upside down again next time we meet. But you know, that’s fine with me. This certainly

isn’t the end of this story, but only the beginning. So just let him come. Let them all come. I’m ready.

For once, I know I really am.

End of Book 1

Back to Table of Contents

Book 2

Redefinitions

by Susann Julieva

Chapter 1

Pavlov’s Dog

DANNY: Alright, I admit it, I’m excited. He’s here. I can’t keep myself from checking out that

delicious ass of his as he strolls past me, into the hall. He stops right in the middle, drops his bag and

just gapes unbelievingly.

“Geez. You call this a house? It’s a freakin’ palace!”

Yeah, what can I say? I guess it is. I just shrug and give him my special grin that never seems to have

the same effect on him it has on every other goddamned person on this planet. J, you’re killing me.

I watch with a smile as he gazes around wide-eyed, moving carefully like a museum visitor in some

exclusive art temple. Most people are a little intimidated when they come to my place the first time, but

I think James is the only one who ever looked so lost. I can almost hear his brain working, planning a

surprising escape the moment I turn my back. Oh no, Jimmy, you stay right where you are. This time,

you’re not getting away so easily.

Feels weird, him being here. The original plan was to follow Casey’s invitation and pay them a little

visit, but the days went by and I kept putting it off, and finally I realized that I probably wouldn’t go at

all. Not that I didn’t want to see him… But then I would have had to share with Mills, and that little twit

is just not good at sharing. Come to think of it, I may not be either. Not when it comes to James. That’s

really irritating. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

Anyway, last week I decided that something had to be done to make him remember that I exist, and

gave him a call. And what does James do? He tells me precious Casey is visiting some relatives down

South with the family, which is why he is home and not with him. I can take a hint, especially when it’s

being made with a “Save me!” sign practically attached to it. He sounded so relieved to hear my voice,

it actually made me want to get into my car and just snatch him away from whomever or whatever was

making him so miserable. Still, even when I asked, I honestly never believed he would accept. But here

he is.

James turns around to look at me, a little frown on his handsome forehead. “I had no idea your folks

were that rich.”

“It’s my mom’s dough. Come on, I’ll give you a tour.”

He nods, looking terribly uncomfortable as he follows me down the corridor to the big living room.

Yeah, well. It’s not like I really love this place either.

Suddenly he stops dead and points at the painting we just passed. “Christ, is that real? Is that a real

Klee?”

“Better be,” I smirk and wink at him.

James stares at me like I just revealed to him that Santa Claus actually exists, then turns his attention

back to good old Paul’s doodling, completely and totally amazed. I had no idea he was so into this stuff.

I step to his side and watch him as his pretty blue eyes take in the painting, a look of awe chasing the