shagged. “What’s up?”

“Mom isn’t doing well. You shouldn’t have come. Now’s not a good time.”

“Ah.” I sit down on the steps beside where he stands, unable to hide a small smile.

James looks down at me, eyes blazing in the light, as he snaps irritably, “No need to get comfy.

You’re not staying. And what the hell are you grinning at anyway?”

My smile widens when I look up, taking him in as he stands there like some pissed off watchdog. I

like those tight jeans, and the view from down here couldn’t be better. Hello there - he looks good in his

plain black T-shirt.

I like it when he’s mad with me, I admit it. But damn, he’s irresistible when he’s seething under the

surface. Or when he’s just playing angry because he’s scared, like now.

“Am I too much for you?” I ask amusedly, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms in front of my

chest to show that I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. Well, unless I’m invited upstairs to his room,

that is.

“What? Damn it, Rizzo…” He trails off, seeming to notice that he fell back into his old habit of

calling me that name. He lets out a deep sigh and finally sinks down on the steps beside me.

James stares at his shoes for a moment before he looks at me, and our eyes meet for the first time

since I’ve arrived.

“Danny, I’m serious. I can’t invite you in. You don’t know what it’s like… what she’s like on days

like this.”

I can’t hide a smirk. “Hey, you’ve met Lilah. How bad can it be? “

This time, he actually smiles. We look at each other for a long moment, and it feels good, him

looking at me. I swear I can see his insecurity slowly melting away, the tenseness vanishing. But still he

doesn’t seem to fully relax. Hard to believe that he was still in my bed just a couple of hours ago, and

now we have to start over again. Hi, I’m Danny. Mind if I kiss you?

“Do you really want me to leave?” I ask seriously, never taking my eyes off his face.

James shakes his head, but sighs again. He’s been thinking, hasn’t he? Probably about Mills, and this

whole messed up situation. He wouldn’t be James if he didn’t worry. Yay for me, for giving the boy a

brand-new reason to hate himself.

“It’s just… weird, you being here, is all.”

“How so?”

He doesn’t answer, he just continues to look at me. I don’t know why he seems so sad somehow. For

a horrible second I can almost hear him telling me that this isn’t working for him, and my heart sinks.

Ouch. Boy, I’m deeper in this than I ever expected.

“What am I doing here, Danny? I gotta be out of my mind.” J shakes his head in disbelief, frowning

again. He gets up and takes two steps to the door, opens the screen. Pauses, and looks back over his

shoulder, his voice sounding almost angry when he speaks again.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

* * *

She looks younger in the framed family picture sitting on the side of the kitchen table, pretty, almost

beautiful. Three smiles, two of them seeming a little too happy to be for real. And this, I guess, must be

Simon, with his arms around Mrs. Foley and the pale, skinny boy who can’t hide that he’s not

comfortable with the touch, or with playing happy family.

I stare at the face of the man in the middle, while James opens the fridge door and gets both of us a

soda. Simon seems nice. He’s a tall man with dark hair, not bad-looking either. A man’s man, someone

everybody respects and likes to call their buddy. Hardworking, taking care of his family, and usually out

for a couple of beers with the boys on Saturday night. Sporty, probably into football. Or baseball. Of

course! That’s why James was on a baseball team. No wonder he doesn’t like to talk about it. While

Simon’s smile seems genuine, there’s a frosty authority in his eyes that sends a shiver down my spine.

My gaze wanders over to a small variety of pill bottles thoughtlessly left on the table. More out of

boredom than out of actual interest, I take a closer look at some of them.

“Lorazepam… Remergil… Haloperidol?” Alarmed, I look at James as he comes over. This shit isn’t

aspirin, man.

“They’re Mom’s,” he explains briskly and quickly puts them out of sight, along with a couple of

other meds standing around.

I watch him opening his can and taking a big gulp, not touching mine. “Jesus, what did that bastard

do to the two of you?”

Slowly James puts down his soda, his expression blank, only his eyes are alive. “Don’t,” is all he

says, very quietly, but it’s all it takes for me to understand.

So I don’t speak, don’t question him further. No matter how much I simply need to know, I just can’t

torture him like that. Instead, I cross the distance between us and simply kiss him. He stands still,

almost stiff for a moment, but then he leans into the kiss and his hands are on my back, pulling me

close.

When we stop, there’s that haunted look on his face again, and I wish I knew what to do. But it’s not

like I have much experience in the field. I don’t have much experience in any of the fields he’s taking

me to. And that’s not something that happens to me often.

* * *

“You like my Jimmy, I can tell.”

It’s late in the afternoon, and Mrs. Foley and I are smoking in the kitchen while James is mowing the

lawn behind the house. She was really out of it this morning, but she’s behaving pretty normally now.

“It’s the meds,” James explained. “She forgets to take them, and the withdrawal has all kinds of nasty

side-effects.” Oh yeah, baby, the happy pills strike back.

With her hair washed and some make-up on her pale face, J’s mom is almost pretty, and I guess she’s

not nearly as old as she seemed when I arrived. They’ve got the same eyes, James and her. A kind of

faded blue, like a sky full of rain clouds. She seems pretty straightforward and has the same dry sense of

humor he does, which I like. I blow out a cloud of smoke before I speak, smiling at her.

“You’re damn right about that, Mrs. Foley.”

“You know about Casey?”

I nod and grimace, and she reacts with an amused little half-smile that looks familiar.

“Casey’s a nice boy, really. Jimmy absolutely adores him.” She pauses, takes a drag on her cigarette,

and tiredly rubs her eyes when she exhales. “But that’s not a good basis for a relationship.”

Surprised, I arch an eyebrow. Not only is she cool with her son having a boyfriend, and me being

here anyway, she’s also questioning J’s relationship with every mother’s dream son-in-law. Guess the

old lady’s not as gone as James made it sound. Man, I like her.

“What’s a good basis, then?”

“Honesty. Trust. What do you think is the most important thing?”

I shrug nonchalantly and give her a charming smile. “Enlighten me.”

She smiles back at me, but doesn’t answer for a long moment, just stares into the distance with

thoughtful eyes. Just when I think she’s forgotten me completely, she replies after all. “It’s the ability to

accept a person’s flaws without wanting to change them. Most people don’t have that.”

“I think you’re a very wise woman, Mrs. Foley.”

“Don’t think that flattery will help you pass my inspection,” she teases, eyeing me from the other

side of the kitchen table.

“How am I doing so far?” I grin.

She chuckles softly. “Hard to say. I’m not sure if you’d be exactly right for my boy, or a complete

disaster. I think you have the possibility for both in you.”

“You know, you’re probably right again.”

James’ mom laughs, and her laugh reminds me of him. They’re alike in many ways, maybe that’s

why we kinda seem to click. I know it’s weird, but I almost envy them, J and her. The way they get