Bilungi’s lips narrow into a thin line asshe continues applying the salve to Nazirah’s cheek. She clearlydoesn’t want Nikolaus agitating her patient, but she doesn’t sayanything to stop him. Bilungi is probably wondering the same thingherself, since Nazirah has visited her almost every day forweeks.

“I guess you’re back, then,” Nazirahreplies.

Nikolaus has been away with Aldrik, LordGrigori, and Adamek for over a week, on some impromptureconnaissance mission in Osen. Nazirah didn’t find out he wasleaving until after he was already gone.

Nikolaus rubs his temples, squeezing hiseyes shut. He clearly doesn’t want to deal with this right now.“Cut it out,” he says. “This is my job. Sometimes I have to leaveat a moment’s notice, especially now, when everything is startingto fall into place. God, you look like crap.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Nikolaus is pale and is limping slightly.Nazirah doesn’t know exactly what happens during these reconmissions, but for Nikolaus to get hurt, they must be seriouslydangerous.

Seeing the clear panic on her face, Nikolauswalks closer to her, making sure not to limp. He sits down besideher on the bed, taking her hands gently.

“I’ll just put this away.” Bilungi quicklyfinishes applying the salve and leaves them to speak privately.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says calmly. “I have a goodteam.” He smiles, but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.Nazirah can tell something is bothering him. No doubt it’s her.

“When did you get back?”

“Last night,” he continues. “And imagine mydelight when Mather Grum cornered me in the hallway, ranting abouthow, for the last two weeks, you’ve refused to participate in anyof his training sessions.” Nikolaus shoots her a curious look andNazirah stares out the window. “He says that you’re making a foolof him and a mockery of his class. He says that you just standthere, allowing yourself to get beaten up, without trying toprotect yourself.”

“He says a lot.”

“Nazirah,” Nikolaus warns, “I’m worried aboutyou. I’m really worried.”

She looks into his eyes, finds deep sadnessthere.

“I’m pleased that you’ve started attendingclasses more and that you’re being somewhat proactive,” hecontinues, “but you need to be able to fight. It’s unlike you toshy away from something like this. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I just can’t do it, Niko.”

“Is it Grum?” he asks. “Is it yourclassmates? Are they picking on you or something? Do you want me to–”

“No it’s nothing like that,” she interrupts,shaking her head.

Nikolaus doesn’t seem convinced. “Look, Iget that you’re small,” he says, trying to understand. “And that’sfine. You can’t help that; you’re built like Riva.”

“I’m not weak, Niko,” Nazirah says, throughgritted teeth. “I just can’t do it.”

“Why not, Nazirah?” he asks, pleading withher now. “Let me in! Tell me what you’re feeling!”

“That’s just it,” she mumbles. “I don’t feelanything, anymore.”

The partition curtain slides open, revealingAdamek buttoning up the top of his shirt. Nazirah looks at him,bewildered. Again, he has been here the entire time? He has heardeverything? He must have stayed deliberately … it can’t take thatlong to button a shirt. Nazirah is annoyed, but she’s secretlygrateful to no longer be the sole focus of Nikolaus’s attention.She hasn’t seen Adamek in weeks, not since the night he and Catoalmost got into a fistfight. His left shoulder is bandaged heavilyunder his shirt, but his face is completely healed.

“Morgen,” Nikolaus greets him swiftly.“Taking care of that shoulder?”

Adamek nods, raising an eyebrow at Nazirah.She must really look like crap. A second later, he’s gone, out thedoor, greeting Bilungi as he leaves.

“What a jerk,” Nazirah huffs. How Niko couldact so civil with him, go on missions with him, is completelybeyond her.

“You’re truly unbelievable.”

Is Niko actually defending him? Not only isNazirah supposed to magically accept Adamek’s amnesty and toleratehis presence, now she has to also rejoice whenever he walks intothe room? Her brother is a real piece of work.

“Thank you,” she snaps.

“Do you know what happened to his shoulder?”Niko asks quietly, taking a steadying breath. “We’ve spent the lastweek on the Oseni border, spying on Medi training camps. Near theend of the mission, we got caught, in a real bad way.”

“I don’t want to hear this!” she cries,covering her ears.

“You have to hear this!” he says, pullingher hands away. “I almost died, Nazirah! Morgen saved me. He gotshot in the shoulder and stitched himself up on the battlefield,for God’s sake! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“That’s gross.”

“That’s not the point.”

“And what is the point?”

“In the past few weeks, Adamek has provencountless times that he deserves to be here. He has risked his lifefor us, has helped our medical team, has given us detailedinformation and contacts.…” Niko trails off, looking out the windowbefore refocusing on Nazirah. “The Medis, vicious though they are,are much more advanced than we. They have technology we could nevereven dream of, would not think could possibly exist. Without hishelp, we would have no chance of winning this.”

Nazirah crosses her arms. “Doesn’t mean Ihave to like him,” she argues. “And since when do you call himthat?”

“What?”

“That.”

“… Adamek?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s his name, isn’t it?” asks Niko gently.“And no, you don’t have to like him. Contrary to what you maythink, I’m not asking you to. But at least try to be civil, okay?Try to understand someone besides yourself, for once.”

“We have nothing in common.”

“Do you know that the Chancellor hasrenounced him? Has called him a brainwashed blood traitor? There’sa huge bounty on his head. His father wants him dead.”

“That makes two of us.”

“People can change, Nazirah.”

And don’t you forget it.

“Not him,” she whispers.

They stare sadly at each other, brother andsister at perpetual odds. Bilungi clears her throat from the farside of the room, indicating to Nikolaus that it’s time for him togo. He gets up to leave, but stops, speaking to Nazirah but facingthe door. “Nazirah, I don’t know exactly why you’re againsteverything that I do,” he says. “I blame myself for a lot of themess we’re in, but you’re the only family I have left. Our time,after hundreds of years of oppression, is finally coming. I don’twant to see you get hurt. I’m not sure why you’re refusing tofight, but I will get to the bottom of it. I need you to try … forme.”

Nazirah is finally alone. She watches theopen door for a moment and then lays her head on the hospital bed.She stares at the ceiling. Nikolaus is right, for once. She can’tkeep doing this to herself. And he doesn’t deserve any more pain,especially caused by her. She will try. For Niko, she will try. Shedoesn’t know if it will work, but it’s worth a shot. Nazirahdoesn’t want to die, but she isn’t sure she wants to live likethis, either.

Chapter Seven

A day later, it’s the blessed weekend, andNazirah doesn’t have to worry about combat training for forty-eightglorious hours. She sleeps in on Saturday, letting her body fullyheal. She doesn’t get out of bed until the sun is high in the sky.Rested and rejuvenated, Nazirah takes a long run outside. She liesin the overgrown meadow for a while. It’s nearly fall, but theEridian heat never falters.

Nazirah meets up with Cato and the othersfor dinner, in unusually high spirits. Cato tells her that he andTaj have stolen some tequilux from Aldrik’s private stash, and thatthey plan to throw a party on the boys’ floor tonight. Nazirahpromises to come, but says she has some work that she needs to dofirst. No one questions her, not even Cato, because Nazirah has hadso many extra assignments due lately. And she’s not lying to them …not exactly.